A convivial fellow from France Took the stage and performed a short dance. He was graceful and masked. “Did you like it?” he asked. Though most clapped, I said, “Next time, wear pants!” Happy “International Dance Day!” (April 29th each year ..read more

“Tell me, why are you dating that bum?” Said a gal to her strict-vegan chum. “Yes, that fellow’s no saint, But the man sure can paint! Plus the guy has a very green thumb ..read more

A fellow who frequently mopes, Moaned, “Ev’rything dashes my hopes!” He even bewailed A self-hanging that failed: “The NEXT time, I’m learning the ropes ..read more

I went gray at a premature age, But embraced it and hoped to look sage. For a lawyer sans penis Back then? Mars v. Venus! Young, female, and short — NOT the rage ..read more

I attempt to write lim’ricks each day. But at times my damn mind won’t obey: For my latest lim-slump I blame tax forms and Trump. Both distract me and WON’T GO AWAY ..read more

The defendant (young Teddy) was tense, For his trial was about to commence. He had troubles — a pile, And his lawyer (pal Kyle) Lost his file and appeared to be dense. Teddy yelled: “You are fired. The end! You have driven me over the bend!” “This is YOUR fault,” said Kyle, With a slippery smile. “No one told you to hire a friend ..read more

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too. I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using TACK or ATTACK at the end of ANY ONE LINE. (A homonym or homophone not listed here may be used in lieu of the designated rhyme word.) The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s the last contest’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.) Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to ANNOYANCES, usi ..read more

It’s time to announce the latest Limerick-Off winners based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in the last Limerick-Off. Congratulations to TERRY MARTER, who wins the Limerick-Off Award for this funny limerick: In broad daylight he aimed; took the shot. She lay still, on the deck of his yacht. When she writhed on the floor, He shot her twice more At his favorite fashion pics spot. Congratulations to TIM JAMES, who wins the PICTURES-Themed Limerick Award for this funny limerick: His new gal was an absolute mess; He was fully enthralled, nonetheless. He wised up really quick When h ..read more

It is National Volleyball Day. Will I celebrate? No! Never! Nay! I’ve a life-long approach To all balls that encroach: Duck and hide, if one’s coming my way ..read more

A haughty old prof who wore tweed Taught the classics (stuff most folks don’t read.) A fine poet of note, The man furtively wrote Naughty lim’ricks with fervor and speed. (Tweed Day falls annually on April 3rd ..read more