It takes considerable knowledge just to realise the extent of your own ignorance! Weather forecast for tonight:  dark! A successful man is one who makes more money than what his wife could spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man! Source:  Internet ..read more

No man has a good enough memory to be a successful liar! Be stupid, be funny, be dumb, if that's who you are. Don't try to be someone that society wants you to be; that's stupid. so be yourself. Laziness is nothing more than the habit of taking rest before getting tired! I can resist anything except temptation! I found there was only one way to look thin... hangout with fat people! Source: Internet ..read more

If only women could read minds, every second man gets slapped! My brain is like the Bermuda Triangle,  Information goes in and it's never found again! Wise men talk because they have something to say Fools talk because they have to say something! Don't take life too seriously You will never get out of it alive! Source: Internet ..read more

I am sorry I hurt your feelings when I called you stupid; I really thought you already know. A day without coffee is like.... Just kidding, I don't know! When you fake sleep to help your toddler sleep, Then you wake up from a 4-hour nap! Source: Internet ..read more

87% of youngsters are suffering from back pain.  It's the people who try to be clever, who never are; the people who are clever, never think of trying to be. I never make the same mistake twice.  I do it five or six times, just to be sure. My room is not really messy it's an obstacle course designed to keep me fit. When I count my blessings, I count you twice! Source: Internet ..read more

Some people are like clouds, when they disappear it is a beautiful day! I like when you smile... but I love it when I'm the reason!  Some times I wonder how you put up with me...then when I remember how I put up with with you, So we are even. There are 2 types of people in the world. 1.  Those who understand and appreciate sarcasm 2.  Idiots Source:  Internet ..read more

When I die, I want my last words to be, "I left a million dollars under the ..." You will never know a woman until she is drunk and nasty with you! What do people do with the time they save writing "K" instead of "OK"? Be extremely careful while you follow the Masses, often M may be silent! If only closed minds come with closed mouths...! Source: Internet ..read more

Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please! Wine is a constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy! Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company! A woman's mind is clearer than that man's because she changes it more often! Laugh and the world laughs with you;  snore and you sleep alone! Lead us not into temptation; just tell us where it is, we will find it! Source: Internet ..read more

Why don't cannibals eat clowns? Because they taste funny! Why did the mushroom go to the party? Because he was a fungi! Why did the farmer win an award? He was outstanding in his field! Why did a chicken coop have only two doors? If it had four doors, it would be a chicken Sedan! Source: Internet ..read more

What does Russian porn get you? Russian porn gets me Soviet! What is the difference between snowman and snow-woman? Snowballs! What do you call a fake spaghetti? An im-pasta! What did the yoga teacher say when her landlord tried to evict her? Namaste! Source:  Internet ..read more