He quickly grabs his clothes and runs out after her. He's searching the building, but the smoke gets too heavy, so he runs outside looking for her. By this time, the firemen are there. He sees one of them and asks, "Did you see a beautiful blonde, in a sheer pink negligee, with $200 in her hand?" The fireman says, "No!" The guy then says, "Well if you see her, screw her. It's paid for." submitted by /u/YZXFILE [visit reddit] [comments ..read more

Ancient Egyptians babies did not know that one day their Daddy will become a Mummy.. Neither did Kardashians submitted by /u/AnonymousBobC [visit reddit] [comments ..read more

I’ll let you know what comes first. submitted by /u/Evening-Schedule-662 [visit reddit] [comments ..read more

Next month I'll spend my drinking money on rent. submitted by /u/incredibleinkpen [visit reddit] [comments ..read more

Gotta say——not a big fan. submitted by /u/porichoygupto [visit reddit] [comments ..read more

But I showed up late for dinner just one time, and she gave me the cold shoulder. submitted by /u/Major_Independence82 [visit reddit] [comments ..read more

She wants to know the name of my first pet, my mom's maiden name, and where I was born. It's called a conversation. Ladies, take note. submitted by /u/launderingpileofcash [visit reddit] [comments ..read more

A man was in a bar all day and had to use the bathroom. He was in there for a while, yelling every now and then, so the barmaid reluctantly went to check on him. "Sir, what are you yelling about? You're scaring the other customers." "Every time I try to flush the toilet, something keeps biting my balls!" "Sir, please get off the mop bucket." submitted by /u/2225ns [visit reddit] [comments ..read more

When my boss came into the IT department and saw me using two keyboards at once, he said "Trust a geek to use two keyboards at once". "Hey!" I said. "That's stereotyping.” submitted by /u/villageboyz [visit reddit] [comments ..read more

Aye Matey. submitted by /u/Flaky_Door [visit reddit] [comments ..read more