He sets the suitcase down and sits at the bar to catch his breath. He checks the time on his watch, then motions to the bartender and orders a water. "Sure thing." says the bartender. As he's pouring the water, he notices the man's watch and says "Wow, that's a fancy watch you got there." "Oh this?" the man replies, "It's packed with a bunch of cool technology. Not only can I search the web and make phone calls on it, but the coolest part is I can download movies on it. Plus it has a built-in 4K projector that will project the movie onto any flat surface, so you can watch any movie you want ..read more

Because it would create a pair of docs. submitted by /u/Hypnotic-Toad [visit reddit] [comments ..read more

He comes across a man building the most beautiful musical instruments with the sand. Guitars, violins, cellos, all exquisitely detailed. The blues musician says to him "Make me a harp". So the guy builds him one with a tall, beautiful piller, an incredible soundboard and 47 strings, all impossibly made from sand. "No, no! You misunderstood. A mouth harp!" says the blues musician. "Oh, you'll need to go to California for that" "What do you mean?" "This is the beach for sand string instruments. You need to go to Los Angeles for the Sand Harmonica beach" submitted by /u/haggislasagne [visit red ..read more

A lunch for four Not 138 submitted by /u/King_Jay3600 [visit reddit] [comments ..read more

Because in France, one egg is un ouef submitted by /u/TonyClifton323 [visit reddit] [comments ..read more

One day a father and son visited a butcher’s shop to pick out some high quality meat when the boy pointed out something he didn’t recognize. “Is this duck?” Asked the boy “No, son. That’s deer meat.” The boy was shocked. He had just learned that people actually kill and eat deer, and he also learned that, like steak, it has its own name “venison”. The boy was curious to try it and so he urged his dad to buy some to cool at home. His dad loved deer meat, so they bought a few pounds of the venison, some for now and some for later. Well the boy liked it a lot, and he knew his friends at school h ..read more

Because we're pretty sure he's going to become an Uber driver. Gotta prepare him for his future. submitted by /u/StarsBear75063 [visit reddit] [comments ..read more

It said “Remove cap and push up bottom”. I’ve been walking funny for hours but my farts smell lovely. submitted by /u/sazerrrac [visit reddit] [comments ..read more

………………………. HIPAA can not tell you. submitted by /u/crashymccrashins [visit reddit] [comments ..read more

He always threw extravagant parties and almost everyone loved him, but almost no one knew where he got his massive wealth from. One day, some law enforcement got suspicious of Count Carl’s wealth and went to him demanded to know where it was coming from. Count Carl refused to tell them, however. So eventually they threatened him with execution. Count Carl insisted that he would take the secret of his wealth to the grave, even when they dragged him up to the stage and commanded him to lay his head on the block. The executioner raised the hatchet high and Count Carl yelled, “Wait, I’ll tell you ..read more