…But he can see where I am coming from. submitted by /u/porichoygupto [visit reddit] [comments ..read more

My wife and I took our kids to the UK for a week. At the end of a long day of walking and seeing the sights, we were all exhausted. I thought it would be fun to take the tube back to our hotel. Wellll, all that rattling and passing through tunnels really scared our little ones. They were in full meltdown mode and we still had five stops left. Nothing we did would calm them down. That’s where things got wild. The doors open and we see this guy get on. Kinda tall, kinda thin, beard, long hair. He looked vaguely familiar. Any way, he sits down a few seats over and sees our tots bawling and screa ..read more

It's your call. submitted by /u/ConsequenceNew7029 [visit reddit] [comments ..read more

Was kinda my fault, I had ordered a package from ACME. submitted by /u/BigDCanuck [visit reddit] [comments ..read more

Old gal says “Yes I can - unzip your pants” Old guy is puzzled but unzips. Gal sticks her hand inside and feels up his male member for a minute. Old gal then says “You’re 83” Guy says “ I am 83, how could you tell?” Gal says “You told me yesterday” submitted by /u/edfitz83 [visit reddit] [comments ..read more

He is to kneel in front of the King and recite a sentence in Latin when His Majesty taps him on the shoulders with his sword. However, when his turn comes, he panics in the excitement of the moment and forgets the Latin. Then, thinking fast, he recites the only other sentence he knows in a foreign language, which he remembers from the Passover seder: "Ma nishtanah halailah hazeh mikol haleilot." Puzzled, His Majesty turns to his advisor and whispers, "Why is this knight different from all other knights?" submitted by /u/WJMorris3 [visit reddit] [comments ..read more

FROM THE MOUTH OF A CHILD A teacher explained biology to her 3rd-grade students. She said, "Human beings are the only animals that stutter." A little girl raised her hand saying, "I had a kitty-cat that stuttered." The teacher, knowing how precious some of these stories could become, asked the girl to describe the incident. "Well,'' she began, "I was in the backyard with my kitty when the Rottweiler that lives next door got a running start and before we knew it, he jumped over the fence into our yard!" The teacher exclaimed, "That must've been scary." The little girl said, "It sure was. My ki ..read more

2 rednecks are talking to each other Redneck 1: I finally had sex with my cousin the other night. Redneck 2: oh yeah? How was it? Redneck 1: it was relatively good Badum tsss submitted by /u/Annual_Badger1208 [visit reddit] [comments ..read more

'ell if I know submitted by /u/-im-your-huckleberry [visit reddit] [comments ..read more

A blonde was giving birth but had been up all night in protracted labor and acute pain. The doctor inspected her to make sure things were alright, telling her that the child might not be in the right position. The blonde said “I might know what’s wrong. Sometimes my husband likes to try new positions. Check the back.” submitted by /u/Major_Independence82 [visit reddit] [comments ..read more