For so long my life revolved solely around my eating disorder. It was my world, my purpose, and the thing I was best at. I was in and out of it at times. Sometimes I was able to enjoy other parts of life, focus on relationships, successfully get into college, etc. But other times, I was dying. It was all I could think about and all I could do. When I fell into my deepest relapse during the summer of 2022, I was in so much pain. Even more, denial – I couldn’t see a future except for a lifetime of anorexia. My life revolved around anything I could do to lose weight to make myself “feel better ..read more

“No puedes levantarte de la mesa antes de terminar todo lo que hay en tu plato.”  “You cannot get up from the table before finishing everything that is on your plate.” No matter how full I felt or if the food sitting before me seemed unappetizing, the rules of Latino meal etiquette would come out of my mother’s mouth. Not eating the full plate she or anyone else served me was seen as unappreciative of the effort put into the preparation of the meal. While this taught me to respect the work of those who feed us, I also learned to have few boundaries surrounding food – I was to ignore phys ..read more

Eating disorders and trauma are closely related—in general, eating disorders rarely take root in a vacuum. Often, they emerge as a response to something else, and in many cases, that’s a previous trauma. If a situation feels too overwhelming, it’s normal to do whatever you can to regain control or numb the difficult feelings. In many cases, you might not even be doing these things intentionally or consciously. If you’re curious about whether your eating disorder is the result of a past trauma, I hope that this blog post can shed some light for you. We’ll talk about how to categorize “trauma ..read more

In the book The Writing Life, Annie Dillard writes, “How we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives.” I love what Dillard was aiming to communicate — that our lives are worth living with thoughtfulness and intention. I agree. And it is, of course, true that what we spend our time on is what our lives will be remembered for. Using the idea of doing the next right thing can be helpful for making small decisions, but I have also found it immensely helpful for making big decisions. I have asked myself what my next best thing is at many major life events. It has changed my life for th ..read more

It’s normal to glance in a mirror and evaluate the reflection staring back at you—in fact, most of us do this type of body checking daily. But at what point can a quick, automatic appraisal turn into a harmful and compulsive habit?  If the rise of “body checking” content on social media platforms is any indication, this behavior isn’t as innocuous as it might initially seem. It's more than just body image dissatisfaction (which is incredibly difficult to deal with, in and of itself)—and it's incredibly prevalent in our culture today. A recent study in the Evolution and Human Behavior Jou ..read more

I remember what it was like to feel so incredibly alone.  The first time I left eating disorder treatment, I was terrified. For the last six months of my life in residential, partial hospitalization, and intensive outpatient treatment, my days had been planned for me. While the rest of the world was isolated in their homes – it was the early days of the COVID-19 pandemic – I had a group of peers and a team of treatment center staff helping me feel connected and supported.  For all the work that goes into titrating folks down from a higher level of care, it’s still a shock that first ..read more

The terms "disordered eating" and "eating disorder" are often used interchangeably—but they represent distinct concepts that impact someone’s physical and mental health. Living in a world saturated with diet culture and body image pressures, it's not surprising that we’re hearing more and more about these topics. Many people struggle with one or the other, often without even knowing it or ever getting help.  This is why it’s sadly not shocking that 22 percent of children and adolescents globally suffer from disordered eating. Plus, eating disorders in teens and young adults at least doub ..read more

I’m five, wearing my pink tutu as I bike around the block. I’m not consumed by how the bike ride will change my body or if I’m burning calories. I move my body for the pure sake of moving – alive and free.  Fast forward eleven years and I’m dripping in sweat, three layers of clothing, my mind consumed by the repeat soundtrack – do more. You aren’t worthy. You aren’t enough. My day is measured by MyFitnessPal.  At sixteen, movement rapidly shifted from empowerment to all-consuming. The parallel between my worth and the way I moved my body rapidly grew to what I now know was exercise ..read more

There are many eating disorder books that help us heal and learn for ourselves, but also better understand what a loved one might be going through. That’s why we turned to the Project HEAL community for recommendations. With so many to choose from and highlight, we wanted to focus on the ones that have impacted the people in our community the most.  If you’re looking to add some eating disorder books to your queue, here are the ones that came highly recommended by your peers.  Apply for Support 8 Keys to Recovery from an Eating Disorder This isn’t just a book about how to overcome y ..read more

Childhood trauma, such as emotional neglect or physical and sexual abuse, is a known risk factor for developing a negative body image. Eating disorders and PTSD are highly comorbid, with comorbidity up to 62%. Furthermore, 90% to 100% of eating disorder sufferers have reported experiencing at least one traumatic event in their lives. For some, eating disorders can serve as a maladaptive coping skill or even an avoidance tactic to protect our minds from the dark spirals of trauma. Like many mental health struggles, we often see such a responsibility for healing – both swiftly and up to societa ..read more