Happy Sunday evening everyone! Hope you've all had a lovely weekend, watching fireworks and spending time doing things that you enjoy doing.  I've had a lovely weekend and whilst watching fireworks last night with pretty much the whole of Medway at the Great Lines, I had a real feeling in my stomach that life is good right now. The feeling that life is back to normal has made such a difference for me this year. So this post really is just a short one to say that I genuinely feel happy right now.  I'm actually enjoying being single, doing what I want when I want, making plans for the ..read more

Morning everyone, Hope you've all had a lovely half term break. I've managed to have some lovely days with Noah and today we are off to London to have dinner at one of my favourite restaurants and then to watch Matilda. I have to be honest and admit this week has been a difficult week for me and Noah as we have navigated some challenging conversations, but if anything it has highlighted just how true he can be with me and therefore our relationship will be one of honesty and openness. I can't ask for more. So, the reason for this post is because I've had some conversations with one of my close ..read more

 Hi everyone,  Can you all believe that we are almost in November of 2021? I definitely can't! Especially because I feel like my life is exactly where it was this time last year ? I know most of you know the situation because we are friends on facebook, so I won't bore you with it all, but let's just say..... I didn't learn my lesson, yes he was having his cake and eating it (like many of you told me) and absolutely he is a massive twat. But the good thing is I would not go back there now even if I had a gun pointed at my head telling me I had to (especially not after what I saw with ..read more

 It is T-minus 5 days until Noah's 10th birthday and something has happened that I wasn't really prepared for. I can honestly say I have not thought about Noah's birth in an upsetting way for years. Yes, it has always been a 'pull in different directions' feeling due to being so happy celebrating the best person to come into my life whilst it also being the day that caused me so much struggle over the years, but I've never felt much otherwise. But this year seems different and I'm not sure why. I seem to not be able to talk about it without becoming emotional and it has honestly taken me ..read more

I've been so busy at work, which feels like I work permanent nights at the mo, that the weeks have been speeding by quicker than I realised. And we're now almost in April! Wow! Today just so happens to be 12 years since me and Tony got together, and I reckon right about now I was listening to him telling me how he was going to look at a Subaru Impreza the next day and I was thinking "I never expected him to be this fit just by gelling his hair". By midnight I'd say I had managed to wear him down for a public snog, before bundling him in the middle of the lockmeadow complex in Maidstone and the ..read more

Who else has a complete shift in mood the second the sun is shining? ?  I know I do and I have always been hugely affected by the weather. The second there is a sniff of spring in the air, it changes everything. It's always a sign of 'better days to come' for me. As soon as I saw the weather was good this past week, I felt a pang of jealousy that I would be sleeping throughout the sunny days due to working nights. Whilst I'm talking about work, I'll give you a little update on my working life..... being a newly qualified midwife is so hard! I feel so overwhelmed most of the time and I was ..read more

I'm guessing most of you will have never heard of parosmia or phantosmia, but if you have, you'll know what this blog post is about. Parosmia is a distorted sense of smell and taste. Phantosmia is smelling something that isn't there. I had Covid back in March 2020, Mothers Day weekend. I didn't have mega symptoms. I felt achey, had a headache, sore throat, a cough (that I wouldn't call continuous) and just felt run down. The following Wednesday I completely lost my smell and taste. When I say lost my smell and taste, I mean I could've bitten into an onion and not been able to tell you what I w ..read more

I've read somewhere that when you feel despair, it unfocusses you from being able to motivate yourself and achieve what you want in life. Whereas hope, apparently does the complete opposite of this. That is until the hope is taken away from you. The thing with hope, is that it is supposed to be something that is made up by the person feeling it due to the circumstances they are in and that actually there is no truth behind what they are feeling.  However, when you are actually made to believe that the hope you are feeling is real, the despair you feel when it is taken away feels 100x wors ..read more

Sorry, today's post is going to be a little bit of a brain dump. Sometimes you just have to get things out. I'm serious when I say this blog is like therapy to me. I hope you all had a lovely Christmas with your loved ones and were able to enjoy the time as best you could. Mine was bloody lovely. We spent it as a family from Christmas Eve until New Years Day apart from a few hours apart here and there and at times it was almost as if things were normal. In fact, it was probably the most 'present' we have been in a long time due to being more considerate to each other now than we have been for ..read more

Sara it's your 38th birthday, And what a year it's been is all I can say. 2020 was the year so full of promise,  With dream holiday plans and a university finish. Never did you expect your life to turn upside down, With heartbreak and upset and feeling like a clown. But the year has not been all bad, Your dream job you worked hard for you did indeed bag. And a 1st Class Honours you achieved in your degree, Although you never got to celebrate properly. The year that Covid added to the stress, One positive was that you now fit in that size 8 dress. And sometimes 'things happen for a reason ..read more