Some of you may have heard about the Hank Smith debacle that occurred on Twitter last week, which peaked with him calling a current BYU student (and former student of his own) “Korihor,” or the Mormon equivalent of “anti-Christ,” to the leader of an aggressive, alt-right fundamentalist group of Mormons. I am not here to get into why that it was heinous and completely out of line because my friend Meg Conley has done that so well on Instagram. But I do want to share my participation in and thoughts about the debate. The main argument Basically, Hank Smith got upset when someone who had left th ..read more

At this point, I can’t really remember what I have and haven’t said on the blog regarding scrupulosity and my experiences. I also wrote an entire book basically on this subject, so there’s that as well. But I have been asked to once again discuss my experiences, so if I repeat, I apologize. Here goes. Do What They Say I had scrupulosity growing up but didn’t know it. I read the scriptures about people repenting and thought that it sounded a lot easier to just not do bad things than have to repent later, so I tried to be really good all the time. While this made life so easy for my parents, it ..read more

I wanted to thank everyone who has left feedback on my blog in the last little while. I do read the feedback usually (I get a bit of spam, so you know). But I am so appreciative of the new readers we get after all these years and the impact that my words have on you. I’m glad that I can help make people feel a little less alone or strange. Frankly, I’m pretty crap at in person relationships (besides my marriage), so having a blog or writing books works well for me. I can handle this level of contact and back and forth. But this month in particular I received two comments, one about scrupulosi ..read more

It’s Inauguration Day here in the United States, a day for which so many of us have been waiting for a very long time. I’m aware that I haven’t blogged in months. The truth is, that last post caused a lot of self reflection and backlash. I do not regret writing or posting it. I stand by the things I said, and I am grateful that we now have President Biden at the helm of our country. But my posting it led to a lot of decisions and changes in my life. A Break Shortly after writing it, my Facebook became a hostile place, with friends and family on both sides vehemently arguing. Some of my nieces ..read more

I did not grow up thinking I would be a political person or even a person interested in politics. I remember someone in high school saying “if you’re not a democrat when you’re young, you have no heart, and if you’re not a republican when you’re old, you have no brain.” Which is all rubbish, of course, because historically the parties have switched back and forth and changed their stance on many policies. But I grew up in a wealthy Bay Area suburb with parents who were educated. We were well off. I didn’t have to worry about most things besides maybe what rich kids at my school were dealing d ..read more

I have been on fluoxetine for my OCD for awhile now. If you are familiar with the past few years on the blog, you might know that I was on medication, went off, had a breakdown, and got back on medication. I think I’ve stayed on since that point. However, as many of us who are on antidepressants can attest, one common side effect is weight gain. Unfortunately, my body in the last few years has really embraced that side effect. In fact, that’s why I went off my meds awhile ago in the first place. I wanted to see if I could lose the weight without the medication—and it worked pretty well, excep ..read more

Shortly after I published my book, The OCD Mormon, in the fall of 2017, I went to Utah to do some events to publicize the book. One of my old roommates from BYU came to one of the events, and we went out for dessert afterwards to catch up and chat. She had left the Church in the years between BYU and 2017, and in the course of discussing some of her experiences and some of mental health journey (that led to my writing my book) she casually recommended that I write about the mental health of those who have left the Church. Another Project? When I got back from Utah, I continued to think about ..read more

I never thought that I would be able to have a dog. I wanted a dog so much growing up, but my parents always told me that they already had a dog (before I was a born) so they weren’t getting another one. Once I was married, we started having kids and then moved a lot and we just never thought about it. Then my contamination OCD kicked in and I had a profound fear of poop. Anti-poop I was convinced I could never have another child (diaper changes?! potty training!) let alone a dog! How could I deal with a dog? Dogs poop multiple times a day and you have to pick it up with a little plastic bag ..read more

I think it was at my February OCD Group in Seattle that someone asked me how I felt about the coronavirus, especially in light of my contamination OCD. Now, this was the beginning of February, so there was no quarantine or stay-at-home orders in the USA yet. Covid-19 wasn’t really on our radar in a big way. I answered honestly, which for me at the time was that I wasn’t too worried about it because my contamination OCD doesn’t care so much about me catching illnesses or getting sick but rather whether or not I spread an illness or disease to someone else unknowingly. Also, I knew that if I al ..read more

Yes, it is true. I want to take you back to 2018. Honestly, 2020 hasn’t been so great and 2019 wasn’t totally awesome, either, so why not? The beginning of 2018 found me sick with influenza b, planning ADAM conference (Anxiety Disorders and Mormonism), and getting released as Relief Society President/talked to by the Bishop (see last post). ADAM conference in SLC was great. On a post conference high and while flying between America and England (so my husband could speak at a programming conference immediately following ADAM), I started to make plans for more conferences. Summer Conferences Fi ..read more