20 I can almost set my clock by it. Seasonal affective disorder, or SAD,  is a sneaky illness, at least in my experience. I’ve had this leafy, dark cloak in my closet for about seven years now. It comes out only from about mid-October and gets shoved away at the end of February, and weighs heavily on my back. As I’ve got older, the intensity of my symptoms has increased. I’m still without a diagnosis, but I feel I haven’t got the energy I need to fight to prove that there is a real pattern to having depression as the weather deteriorates into dark mornings and dark nights that seem to b ..read more

4 My story? Well, I only realised that I had symptoms of clinical depression recently. And probably that I've had it a lot longer than I thought. I was always of the belief that depression was a result of a traumatic event, a loss, stress, unhappiness at home, being bullied, those types of things. But it turns out you can just have bad brain chemistry. My brain just doesn't produce enough serotonin. It dawned on me that I no longer enjoyed the things I used to love. I couldn't remember the last time I laughed. And I mean the belly-cramping, nose-snorting kind. Reading, drawing, playing games ..read more

Growing up in my household was a bit of a struggle. Around the age of 12, I was bullied quite severely, which in turn had an impact on my mental health. I began to experience symptoms of anxiety and depression. I was always a reserved, quiet person but I built up the courage to talk to my mum about how I was feeling. I went into the kitchen to talk about being bullied and how it made me feel. I was expecting some understanding and comfort but that is not what I received. To this day, I remember exactly what she said to me, "You're too young to be depressed. What do you have to be depressed a ..read more

Before I was diagnosed with depression, anxiety and severe ADHD, I was quite oblivious to mental health issues. Since then, I have gained a much deeper insight on how society views and deals with these issues. I have also come to realise how my words effect the way people interact with me, and how they view me as a person. Words are powerful. Which is why I have said publicly, “when I keep quiet, stigma wins – and I can’t let that happen”. Stigma is something I have had to deal with on an almost daily basis – especially in the workplace. Over time, you learn to deal with it, but the scars s ..read more

It started with feeling irritated over small issues. I didn't look forward to spending time with my baby. My in-laws would make me loose my nerve. For no reason at all, I was getting angry at home. Even in the office, I didn’t feel like working anymore. I was losing enthusiasm for life and struggling to enjoy the things that would usually make me happy. Gradually I lost interest in reading or any other activities and was losing confidence to talk to anyone. With days passing by, I started to loose weight, which i thought was normal after giving birth. My face was losing its glow, it loo ..read more

At 16 years old I sat in my first therapy session and was told that I “had no real reason for having depression”. I was doing well in school, I had plenty of friends and there was no single particular traumatic event that had triggered the decline of my mental health. According to my therapist this made it impossible for me to feel anxious or depressed. After two more sessions I was totally convinced that I’d manifested these feelings myself and actually had perfect mental health, so I left. Now, at aged 21, I can look back and see how I ignored my own mental health because I didn’t sh ..read more

I love summer. Lighter evenings, longer days, warmer weather, summer dresses, perhaps even some sun if we’re lucky. Generally speaking, as seems to be common with most people I speak to –  when the sun is out, I’m in a better mood. However, as someone who also experiences periods of depression, I’ve found that this isn’t generally the case when it comes to my mental health. I’m fortunate that I’m currently in a much better place at the moment but, when I think back to a few years ago, I found the summer months to be an immense struggle. When the clocks sprung forward, it all felt a litt ..read more

Depression is debilitating. Some people understand it, some think it’s an attention call. For me, depression is like that pile of laundry that you don’t want to show in your Instagram pictures. I never want to show my pile of laundry to the world, I want my life to seem happy and put together, as if I folded and put away all my laundry right out of the dryer. Ever since high school I have suffered with extreme depression and anxiety. I can defend the issue for hours and hours, however I get embarrassed when I feel sad. I get so embarrassed when I am sad and those around me do ..read more

Ah, mental health stigma surrounding depression. The worst that's been said to me in the last 9 years of having depression is: "Don't go and have a Helen moment on me!" "Don't quit your job. I know your job has been making you feel depressed but you're being stupid. You haven't tried hard enough." "Is that all your depressed about?" "Stop being ungrateful and take your Great Aunt's advice!" Please, stop. This is not me being lazy, ungrateful or selfish. This is me dealing, sometimes suffering, with depression. This is my demon running its black toxins through my head, poisoning my thoughts a ..read more

For a long while, I've been having issues with mental health. I remember asking my mum one day years ago if hearing and seeing things was normal and her response still sticks with me. "You're too young and don't know what REAL mental health problems are." At the time I was incredibly depressed, anxious and scared of myself and what I might do. Whenever I tried to reach out and ask to see someone for help because I was seeing things, she always gave an excuse to dismiss what was going on, like I needed more sleep or I needed to "stay off that phone!". I just wish she might have list ..read more