What better way to start this post than with one of the greatest opening sequences in film.  A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away... The music from John Williams and the London Symphony Orchestra hits you and the feeling of nostalgia fills your senses. Quickly reading the words scrolling up and away against a star filled background you move backwards in time to 1977. It is a period of civil war. Rebel spaceships, striking from a hidden base, have won their first victory against the evil Galactic Empire. The music changes as the camera pans down and you hear the firs ..read more

Sen John Neely Kennedy (R-Louisiana). Video Screenshot, Heated on YouTube At a Senate hearing on climate disinformation Wednesday, Oxford-educated Sen. John Neely Kennedy (R-Looziana Awl Bidniss) trotted out his Bumpkin Cornpone Hickfart act to try to smear one of the witnesses as some kind of potty-mouthed radical. Happily, this time it blew up in his nasty smug face. Kennedy’s an old dawg, and it’s hardly a new trick; he’s always pretending to suggest witnesses are terrible people by trying to associate them with scary radical beliefs they don’t actually hold. Sometimes it even works, like ..read more

Glare, glare, glare Thursday Afternoon Did Thursday’s court go great for Donald John Trump? You can catch up here! TL;DR: He didn’t get sent on the Grey Goose to Rikers for contempt, but by the end of the day, #VonShitzInPants was entered into the court record and trending on Twitter.  Thursday afternoon he also stood in front of the courthouse to lie, “I’m not allowed to testify because this judge is totally conflicted — has me under an institutional gag order. Nobody’s ever had that before, and we don’t like it, it’s not fair!” while Todd Blanche nodded beside him, which seems maybe a ..read more

This is the lovely Willow, courtesy of our pal Sister Artemis! Naked Gardening! Apparently it is a thing? And there’s a holiday for it? Sure, why not! According to NationalToday … In 2005 World Naked Gardening Day (W.N.G.D.) began to spread around the globe. It wasn’t intended to be controlled by any person or organization in particular, but to simply be a movement in which whoever wanted to participate could do so. Creators of the movement included the editor for a magazine named “Nude & Natural,” Mark Storey, and permaculturalist Jacob Gabriel. The two started W.N.G.D. as a project li ..read more

Hi friends, how’s everybody holding up? Okay, that’s great. WE HAVE ALL MADE IT THROUGH THIS WEEK, congratulations everybody!!! 115 paid subscribers to go to get to our 5200 goal! IS IT YOU????? Today we brought you some tabs! It includes an invitation to our Toronto Wonkmeet, coming soon! (Sunday, May 19, 3-5 p.m. at the Fairmont Royal York’s Library Bar; drinks are on me!) Evan phoned one in on his way to the weekend. Luckily Evan’s phone-ins are exquisite. I love it when Robyn does these. Good hearing, Sherrod Brown and Professor Senator Warren Ma’am! Nerd stuff! For nerds! Gross. Gr ..read more

I’d add a little umbrella and some more fruit as garnish in retrospect, but this lets you see the fire clearly. Greetings, Wonketeers! I’m Hooper, your bartender, and hoo boy am I just in time. I might have even cut it too close. This has been a WEEK. All right, let’s cut to the chase. I picked up a really awesome bottle and made something cool — a Mai Tai that tastes like a Painkiller. This is peanut-butter-meets-chocolate stuff here, two great tastes in one glass together. But I can read the room. I think we’re at a point where we all want a good drink immediately, instead of watching the ..read more

In just seven days … he can make you a ma-a-a-a-n At some point during the COVID pandemic, tech millionaire Steve Kirsch (he invented the mouse! at the same time that another guy invented the mouse!) went from donating to progressive causes, supporting Democratic politicians, and funding the search for a cure to being a top anti-vaccine misinformation spreader who hangs out with Steve Bannon. He’s been on that jag since then, writing a wacky anti-vax blog with entries about “turbo cancer” and funding RFK Jr.’s presidential campaign. Recently Kirsch decided that perhaps vaccines are responsib ..read more

Richard Nixon thinking about siccing the FBI on Greg Kelly. This summer marks the 50th anniversary of Richard Nixon’s resignation from the presidency. Oh for those halcyon days when America’s hair was longer, its pants were bigger, and its president was still capable of feeling a modicum of shame over all the goddamn crimes he had committed. What this also means is that we expect to see an uptick in wingnut media stories trying to convince the world that Nixon was not run out of office because he was a degenerate criminal so crooked that a carpenter’s level would spontaneously combust if it ..read more

Once again, the exact thing we said was going to happen, vis-à-vis the horrific Texas legislation allowing people to sue anyone who “aids and abets” an abortion, is happening. At some point this year, a Texas woman made the decision to run off to Colorado to seek an abortion in order to avoid giving birth to the purported child of one Collin Davis. Given what we know about this Collin Davis character, this is the smartest possible decision she could have made, as having his child would have meant being chained to him for life in some capacity — and he sure seems like a goddamned nightmare ..read more

Ron DeSantis is very concerned about the meat people in Florida are putting in their mouths. The sentient anal fistula still residing in Florida’s governor’s mansion signed a bill this week banning the production and distribution of lab-grown meat in his state. This makes Florida the first state to do so, although similar bills are under consideration in other states not renowned for their forward thinking. (Alabama, Tennessee, and Arizona.) Subscribe to Wonkette and never miss a dick joke. Partly this bill was a sop to Big Agriculture interests terrified of a future in which the world po ..read more