That beautiful head on the drink smells heavenly. Greetings, Wonketeers! I’m Hooper, your bartender. Mother’s Day is just around the corner. Time to take a look through the recipe index and pick out some champagne cocktails. Mimosas are the traditional choice, and I’ll run down our options for that. But for Mom, let’s get fancier and put a tiki spin on the classic. Let’s make a Foaming Pineapple. Here’s the recipe: Foaming Pineapple 1 oz Planteray Three Star Rum 2 oz pineapple juice ½ oz creme de coconut Brut champagne Nutmeg Shake rum, pineapple juice, and creme de coconut. Pour into a cou ..read more

If Donald Trump’s 2016 presidential campaign was a seat-of-your-pants operation slapped together on the run, and his 2020 campaign was an alleged juggernaut, a formidable “Death Star” ready to vaporize opponents, then how should we think of his 2024 campaign? Your Wonkette tends to think of it as a criminal enterprise planning on two major heists. The first is to jack as many pallets of cash as it can carry out of the Republican National Committee, mostly to pay Trump’s legal bills. The second is to steal the election through a variety of schemes and lawsuits. Why bother running on the up-a ..read more

On May 16, 1934, a mere week after longshoremen in San Francisco walked off the job and roiled the West Coast, truckers in Minneapolis went on strike in an action that would lead the way for the Teamsters to represent truckers across the nation and help lay the groundwork for the organization of industrial workers across the nation during the 1930s. In the early 1930s, the Teamsters were already a conservative and often corrupt union, particularly in the upper echelons of leadership. But the locals were a different story. Because they organized truck drivers, the workplace of Teamsters was ..read more

This should not be terrifically surprising, but for the second year in a row, applications for medical residencies have declined in states with abortion bans. That’s not just for ob-gyns, mind you. It’s not even just for emergency room doctors. That’s for all medical residencies, period, which have declined an additional 4.2 percent in the last year, compared with a 0.6 percent drop in states where abortion is legal. Ob-gyn residencies alone have decreased in these states by 6.7 percent (and increased by 0.4 percent in states without bans). This is a very big deal, considering that we have ..read more

There’s a nickel in there somewhere! (Borat Subsequent Moviefilm) Scotch-swilling ladies’ man Rudy Giuliani and his lawyers have been working every possible angle to weasel out of paying any of that $148 million judgment he owes to the election workers whose lives he ruined with racism-slathered lies and rants, including filing for expedited bankruptcy days after his judgment. He’s been living poor, supposed to keep within a budget of just $43,000 a month (which sometimes runs to triple that), but he’d prefer not to pay his creditors anything he owes, because fuck them is why. Now he’s ..read more

Video screenshot, Forbes on YouTube On Wednesday, House Republicans proudly unveiled an actual pile of horse shit that they’re calling serious legislation, a pointless election-year fearmongering bill with a title that spells out SAVE, as in SAVE-ing America from scary foreigners voting in federal elections. Just 105 new paid subscribers needed to meet our goal, and then instead of Mike Johnson’s face, you’ll get kittycat pics! For a WHOLE WEEK! Oh wow, that should definitely be illegal! Which is why it is already a felony, and Johnson knows it. But no matter! He came up with an excellent ..read more

We’ve heard a lot about Project 2025 — the Heritage Foundation’s creepy-as-fuck plan for the Trump second term we are all very much hoping never, ever happens. Now, you probably don’t need another reason to be horrified by this prospect, or by Project 2025 itself, but we’re going to give you one anyway: They want to execute all 44 prisoners on death row in the first 180 days. That’s about one execution every four days. To give you an idea of the scale we are talking about here, there have only been 16 total federal executions since the federal death penalty was reinstated in 1976. Three und ..read more

Could the rollout of her new book-shaped object No Going Back go any worse for pigeon-brained fuckwit Kristi Noem? The governor of South Dakota kicked up a raging firestorm by including the story of the time she shot the family puppy because she was mad at it. Noem thought the story would show the public that she can make hard choices like a great leader, only to confirm the heretofore-unconfirmable rumor that Americans love their dogs. Thus, instead of being impressed by Noem’s toughness, the public’s first reaction was What the hell is wrong with this woman, is she a psychopath, should th ..read more

Trump honeybunches Todd Blanche and Susan Necheles Happy Friday, here’s your Thursday afternoon Trump-trial debrief! It got calm after the Stormy (catch up here), but then got spicier again at the end of the day when Todd Blanche lost his shit then got his ass handed to him. Let’s resume! The next witness after Stormy Daniels was Rebecca Manochio, a Trump Org junior bookkeeper under buffoon Controller Jeff McConney and jailbird CFO Allen Weisselberg. Manochio testified she FedExed checks to the White House for Trump to sign, then got them back for processing. She also sent checks to the hous ..read more

Fox News star Laura Ingraham, a person who probably wouldn’t help an old lady across the street even if they were offering to give her back her old, far superior time slot, reacted to the two days of testimony we’ve seen so far from Stormy Daniels: Ingraham said, and we quote, “Daniels comes across as not only an angry shrew, but an angry shrew who’s also an extortionist.” OK. Wonkette is gonna be a real angry shrew if we don’t hit our spring paying subscriber goal. We feel like there is a word for the thing Ingraham is doing, and we invite every psychologist and mental health profession ..read more