How To Break the Curse of Purity Culture
Naked Pastor
by David Hayward
4d ago
Many of us who grew up in purity culture struggle with feeling good about our bodies and our desires, and feeling liberated in our sex lives. I think physical intimacy and sex should be fun. Purity culture does its best to prevent that from happening. So, if you’ve grown up in purity culture, you know this, and you want to break free from it, I have some advice. From the beginning, when I talk about sex, I’m talking about consensual sex. (Get a digital download of this cartoon by clicking on it or HERE.) First of all, you need to fill your mind with other ideas about sex other than what purit ..read more
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When Your Partner Changes Their Beliefs
Naked Pastor
by David Hayward
5d ago
This couple has a story. They were young believers. They fell in love. They got married. Then they started… oh no… deconstructing! That is… their beliefs started changing. (Get a digital download of this cartoon by clicking on the image or HERE.) They were still in love, but things had become challenging. Their relationship wasn’t as easy as before. There were questions, awkward moments and silences, arguments, confusion, disappointment, and fear. Sometimes they wondered if they were going to make it. They realize they were in a kind of mixed marriage because they didn’t believe the same. Th ..read more
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Can You Be Friends With Someone Who Believes Differently Than You Do?
Naked Pastor
by David Hayward
1w ago
Is it possible to be friends with someone who believes differently than you do? Short answer? Yes. I think a lot of people from my old church could use this reminder. Lisa and I lost everything when we left the church. We lost our friends. They couldn't see that, even though our beliefs were different from theirs, we could still be friends. I have loved and been loved by people who believe very differently than I do.  It's because we put our humanity before our beliefs. We prioritize love over ideas. In fact, if we were identical, where's the fun in that? Difference creates diversity, and ..read more
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3 Funny Easter Cartoons and Comics
Naked Pastor
by David Hayward
1w ago
I draw a mixture of cartoons. Some of them are silly. Some are poignant. Some are sad. Some are provocative. Some are serious. And, I sincerely hope, some are funny. Here are some of my most popular light-hearted Easter cartoons. What A Weekend Easter Cartoon I call this one "What a Weekend!", an exclamation partiers usually use to describe a fun weekend with their friends. But in this case, it's about something a little more serious and consequential.   Jesus Double Espresso Cartoon I like this one especially because I like coffee. I call this one "Double Espresso". I find a single shot ..read more
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Nurturing Spiritual Health For Lasting Inner Peace
Naked Pastor
by David Hayward
1M ago
How healthy are you? I'm not talking about apple-eating-healthy, I'm talking about taking-care-of-your-soul healthy.  "The same pattern applies to all sports: When you restore position, you restore function. When you improve position, you improve function”   This is from Dr. Kelly Starrett's Becoming a Supple Leopard: The Ultimate Guide to Resolving Pain, Preventing Injury, and Optimizing Athletic Performance. The above quote about physical health also applies to all other areas where health is important, including spirituality. If we are honest with ourselves, most of re ..read more
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10 Ways to Make Friends After Leaving The Church
Naked Pastor
by David Hayward
1M ago
As many of you know, one of the worst aspects of leaving the church is losing all or most of your friends, and the difficulty of making new ones. We may experience extreme loneliness after we leave the church, and some of us fall into the rut of accepting that loneliness as our way of life from now on and forsake the idea of having good friends ever again. Lisa and I experienced exactly this after we left the church in 2010. We lost almost all of our friends, kept only a few, and experienced long stretches of loneliness. But now, some years later, we have a pretty healthy list of friends. W ..read more
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Love, Desire, and Consent: Rethinking Purity Culture Narratives
Naked Pastor
by David Hayward
1M ago
You Can Never Say No I hope this isn’t too triggering for some of you. But I bet it might be because this theology is so prevalent in the church. It is in society too where men just think it is their right to take a woman’s body. Religion and purity culture takes this patriarchal, male-dominant idea to a whole new level by weaponizing scripture, theology, and spiritual authority to govern and afflict women. (Download a digital copy of this cartoon by clicking on the image or HERE.) This man is in for an important lesson. And it is this: This woman has autonomy over her body, she knows it, and ..read more
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How To Unlearn Harmful Purity Culture Beliefs
Naked Pastor
by David Hayward
1M ago
This is about Purity Culture and sex, and about the conflict religion creates between spirit and body. I never did this literally but I did figuratively. I prioritized spiritual concerns over bodily ones.Now, I’ve come to realize that I am not a body with a spirit or a spirit with a body, but that the two are one and inseparable. Like consciousness… that mysterious thing that is both cellular and transcends the cellular. You can’t be conscious without brain cells! I believe we can’t be body without spirit, nor spirit without body but religion pounded into me that I was either one or the other ..read more
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What Is Religious Trauma Syndrome?
Naked Pastor
by Robyn Mays
1M ago
Religious Trauma Syndrome refers to the psychological and emotional distress that can arise as a consequence of religious trauma or spiritual abuse. The term was a term coined by Marlene Winell in 2011. Although not included in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, this term has been increasingly recognized and acknowledged. Acknowledging The Pervasiveness of Religious Trauma Acknowledging the pervasiveness of religious trauma is crucial for understanding its impact on individuals and communities. Many people have experienced psychological distress as a ..read more
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3 Signs That You May Be In A Toxic Group
Naked Pastor
by Robyn Mays
1M ago
Breaking out of toxic friendships is hard. Recognizing when something is toxic when it looks different from what we’re used to is hard too. Below are some “not always obvious” red flags to help you identify and escape groups that are unhealthy for you. These three signs can also help you know when to leave the Church. They Slowly Start Crossing Your Boundaries It can start subtly or even happen in a sweetened, gentle way that makes you feel guilty for saying no. Little nudges here and there that you feel too polite or awkward to mention, where someone crosses your boundaries. When it doe ..read more
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