public domain   When I discuss family dysfunction, the question of “who’s to blame”– the adult children or their parents – frequently arises. Emotions then tend to run wild. I believe this is the wrong question. The fact is that all family members  are beans in the same soup, acting out patterns that have been building up for generations and are being passed down. The right question should always be, “How do we FIX this?” The question of blame is often the subject of vehement defensive reactions by the community of parents in the US, who gripe about anyone who engages in“ parent bl ..read more

A psychiatrist with Intense, bulging eyes by C. Josef, CC Attributions 4.0   In my last post, I mentioned that the research into both psychotherapy outcomes and personality disorders is extremely weak, and even that characterization may even be giving it too much credit. Extensive clinical experience has been dismissed as “anecdotal,” even when therapists see the same things over and over again and their observations are confirmed by many other therapists who actually look at the same phenomena. The irony here is that almost ALL of the “research” data in these two areas is a collection ..read more

According to CBS News, most offspring who kill their parents are adult children, meaning they are over 18 years of age. Over the 32-year period examined, the number of juvenile parricide offenders was substantially lower. On the average, juveniles killed 31 fathers and 18 mothers per year. The reverse is more common: according to FBI statistics, an average of about 450 children of all ages yearly are killed by their own parents. Parents were responsible for 61% of child murders under the age of five. The fact that young children or older adult children kill their own parents seems to r ..read more

New podcast, Part II, discusses my family dysfunction model in more detail. Your problems with it are not "all in your head." https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pjG5LbV26ps ..read more

  In my review of the book, The Coddling of the American Mind by Haidt and Lukianoff, I focused on a cultural shift on college campuses that has often led to an environment characterized by political correctness rather than free and open debate between opposing viewpoints. Groups have even turned on their own members for deviating ever so slightly from a “party line.” I discussed how this is one way that groupthink can manifest itself. A  new book by Lukianoff and Schlot talks about how this situation has apparently gotten much worse, and has spread to other educational insti ..read more

  A new article in the blog ACE’s (Adverse Childhood Experiences) Too High  describes some new and current programs that aim to help the perpetrators of domestic violence. Not its victims, its perpetrators.   Help the perpetrators of domestic violence and not just its victims? Whoever heard of such a thing? How can anyone care about them? Not a popular idea to be sure.  Perpetrators are traditionally shunted to the side as worthy only of blame, shame and punishment. However, if we want to actually decrease  ..read more

Is pornography addiction a real condition? In the book I co-edited, Groupthink in Science, we have a chapter by Nicole Prause, a neuroscientist who has been very active in this debate (and is mentioned prominently in the book I’ll be talking abut). She makes what I consider an extremely good case that this “addiction” model is nonsensical. I agree. In her book, The Pornography Wars, academic sociologist Dr. Kelsey Burke examines in fine detail both sides of this ongoing debate without clearly taking a position either way. She talks with a variety of academics and members of interest and c ..read more

Opening of anatomical theater at medical faculty at Bogomolets National Medical University circa 1853                                                Unknown author.  Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike 4.0   When I read the program for any medical meeting, such as the annual American Psychiatric Convention, there has for years been a plethora of talks and  forums about racism in medicine, equity and diversity, and the like. Perhaps medical offices ..read more

 I'm interviewed on two new podcasts.  The first describes my background and how I got interested in the family dynamics of self-destructive behavior (particularly borderline personality disorder) and its psychotherapy: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XPQdl664QgM In the second one, I talk about my self-help book, Coping with Critical, Demanding, and Dysfunctional Parents: Powerful Strategies to Help Adult Children Maintain Boundaries and Stay Sane: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MLM6tvLe_Oo&list=PLOSSy_bIynJqUnE3ilzI9UR7J92aYeCI2&index=42 ..read more

  Functional magnetic resonance imaging by Washington Irving, public domain In an article in the Washington Post on 8/2/23, cultural critic Kristen Martin wrote an essay about how some best-selling books express great confidence in theories of the brain that are in reality still in their infancy - and unproven. She mentions a book I reviewed, The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der Kolk, a well as The Grieving Brain by Mary-Francis O’Connor. The author believes that “neuroscientific wisdom is now recirculating into new mediums, calcifying into consensus that we can’t stop parroting ..read more