By Drink up
FMyLife
by
1h ago
Today, I was about to take a drink from my cup when I saw a bug making its way along the lid. When I saw it going down into the drink, I quickly ripped off the lid to stop it. I wasn't fast enough, and watched it drown. Thanks for that. FML ..read more
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By Anonymous
FMyLife
by
5h ago
Today, I was supposed to train a new hire, grateful to finally have someone else here with me on my shift. He didn't show up. I found out later that his mother didn't want him working here because she thinks he's too smart for this job. I found him working at the McDonald's a few blocks away. We pay more than they do. FML ..read more
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By Anonymous
FMyLife
by
8h ago
Today, I walked out to the parking lot and caught a homeless man laying a fat steamer on the hood of my car. FML ..read more
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By Anonymous
FMyLife
by
13h ago
Today, I arrived home, having just had my long hair cut and my beard shaved. My idiot daughter’s reaction when she saw me? “Who are you and how did you get in the house?” FML ..read more
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By Leah Magers
FMyLife
by
17h ago
Today, it's my birthday. My birthday present was a pelvic exam, and not even the good kind of pelvic exam. Woo hoo! FML ..read more
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By Fucking moron
FMyLife
by
21h ago
Today, I met my "grandson". Even though my son and his wife are both lily white, the child was clearly half-black. I pulled my son aside to have a word, but he said, "Her grandmother was black and she has recessive genes, it's really rare." I can't believe I raised this dumbass. FML ..read more
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By Anonymous
FMyLife
by
1d ago
Today, my mom, who still refuses to get a mobile phone, was late coming home, so I was sent to buy dinner. Dad wanted seafood. I picked it up and returned, only to find Mom was already back with McDonald's. Dad insisted we eat that, despite my protests and MY money I'd spent on HIS request. I made sure Mom saw the Verizon ads. FML ..read more
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By Sim Pleton
FMyLife
by
1d ago
Today, after international flights while being five months pregnant to elope with a good man, which my family disapproved of, then paying thousands for his visa with limited finances, he told me, after I struggled with breastfeeding days after the birth, that he didn’t care about me, and had only cared whilst his baby was inside me. FML ..read more
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By ihateschool
FMyLife
by
1d ago
Today, I've been sick for five days and I have two college essays and a exam coming up, along with a few other assignments. I've been working non-stop for five days with less than six hours of sleep per day, and more assignments are flowing in as I am working. FML ..read more
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By Anonymous
FMyLife
by
2d ago
Today, I found out one of the neighborhood kids has been stealing from my mailbox. Several packages marked "delivered" had gone missing over the last few months, so I set up a trail cam in the yard. I notified the USPS and the police; they confronted him at his house. He's been reselling everything I ordered on eBay. FML ..read more
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