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The Turner Prize panel has announced that the Conservative Election Campaign is the 2024 winner of the Turner Prize. 'This is a stunning mix media piece.' read a statement on behalf of the panel's chair, Alex Farquharson, written on the back of a Tory election leaflet. 'Such a brave combination of rainwater, pork pies and excreta that presents a deception that is so transparent that it deceives no-one.' The awarding of the prize has caused controversy after the piece's creator, Rishi Sunak, issued a counter-statement protesting against the award. 'The point of the piece is to lose; by na ..read more

Gesture politics is being used as an act of misdirection, to mask continued abuses; as if Paul Daniels had pulled a rabbit out of a hat, while surreptitiously kicking Nelson Mandela in the balls. As well-meaning at it may be, banning one episode from a 1970’s sitcom, does not make up for 2,000 years of racism. Worryingly, TV executives seem to think that casting an African American in a dating show, means that somehow, we are ‘quits’ when it comes to slavery.  Being offered the fig-leaf of diversity in a fictional movie, should not make up for having your history erased in real life ..read more

Voters are being warned that spoiling your ballot paper by drawing a cock and balls on it may not prevent it being counted as a vote. The Electoral Commission said that such actions will be interpreted as portraying a preference for the biggest knob amongst the candidates. However, this will be done on a constituency by constituency basis, so that drawing a prick will not necessarily be considered as a vote for Rishi Sunak, Sir Keir Starmer, or even that LibDem bloke, even though they are all regularly compared to male members. One thing is clear however. Since Nigel Farage declared that ..read more

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A leading makeup brand today announced a new advertising campaign, leading with the slogan 'Because men are really superficial'. 'We all know it’s true,' said Brand Director Abigail Muesli. 'My single friend Jill is the most interesting woman around - she has a great sense of humour, she’s lived a fascinating life, she’s professionally very accomplished, and despite all that she’s charmingly modest. 'But men never find any of that out, because they don’t talk to her for long enough before they’re distracted by some heavily made up 20 year old in a short skirt. 'What I don’t get is - do th ..read more

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