Sure, it’s not April anymore, but who has any good sense of time anymore? Parents are ussually late anyways, and especially time-challenged these days. Good parents raise good children but GREAT parents tweet about all of the not-so-great things that happen when they’re raising their children…or something like that. Raising kids isn’t an easy job but someone has to do it, which is why HowToBeADad puts together a monthlyish Twitter roundup about the pains and occasional joy of parenthood. So take a look below for some of the funniest parent tweets we’ve found this month! I peed my pants jum ..read more

Nursery rhymes. The name itself seems to recall a simpler and more innocent time. Maybe you remember chanting a nursery rhyme on the playground with your friends as a kid. Then again, maybe, you don’t. The odds are you didn’t grow up in the 1800s and spend your time singing and dancing with a bunch of chimney sweeps (many of whom developed cancer of the ball sack because of the work they performed). Even if you don’t happen to be a chimney sweep the chances are that you probably know a few nursery rhymes. You may not, however, know just what they were about. It turns out that a lot of nurse ..read more

  Congratulations! You’re having a baby! Actually, to be technical about it, your wife is having a baby. Other than going to prenatal classes, late-night emergency food craving grocery runs, and letting her crush your hand into a box of broken crayons during labor, comparatively, you’re just along for the ride. That doesn’t mean you can’t be supportive in other ways. One of the hallmark times a would-be father can share in the miracle of life is during the first sonogram, so it’s important to really show up strong. Below are a few helpful tips to make the most out of the experience for ..read more

Good parents raise good children but GREAT parents tweet about all of the not-so-great things that happen when they’re raising their children…or something like that. Raising kids isn’t an easy job but someone has to do it which is why HTBAD puts together a monthlyish Twitter roundup about the pains and occasional joy of parenthood. So take a look below for some of the funniest parent tweets we’ve found this month!   Kids math word-problems should be more realistic, like: Your car is worth $3000 on a trade-in but you still owe $3700 on it. Then your “check engine” light comes on and t ..read more

There are bad birthday presents and then there are BAD birthday presents. And then there are the birthday presents that leave you scratching your head and wondering “what in the hell were they thinking?” The answer? They probably weren’t. However they came to be, these toys are out there lurking in darkest corners of the internet just waiting to destroy some poor child’s emotional stability and, perhaps, the very fabric of society itself. So please avoid these legendarily awful presents when planning your kid’s next birthday party…unless of course you really, really, really don’t like your ch ..read more

Something strange happens to the English language when men get married. Like a cute little caterpillar that slowly turns into Mothra, the language you’ve understood for most of your life can take on a different, and often confusing, meaning. Suddenly a misused word or phrase can have horrible consequences and the next thing you know you’re sleeping on your sister’s couch in Terra Haute, and not the nice part of Terra Haute, or even the good couch. More often than not, your new living arrangements were caused by a few simple verbal misunderstandings. So let’s unlock the language of marriage an ..read more

Welp. It’s all fun and games until that hair-raising shrill background music starts playing. Justin Bryant created these horror film reimaginings for us to laugh and cringe at. Maybe don’t show these to your young kids, though. Chutes and Ladders may never be the same again. (Affiliate links have been added to all the games for your convenience and so HowToBeADad can make a buck or two. Gotta make that coin, yo.)   1) Hungry Hippos Everything is quiet, a hush of anticipation seems to weigh thick in the air. Then, suddenly, all hell breaks loose as the violent feeding frenzy begins. And t ..read more

What’s better (or worse) than one dad joke? A THOUSAND DAD JOKES!!! The Dad Joke Hall of Shame book has been created to irritate your friends, amuse your coworkers and possibly even drive your spouse mad with desire. Then again maybe not so much that last part. All for only $12.99! Despite the name, dad jokes are for everyone; young or old, male or female. You don’t even need to have kids to enjoy the Dad Joke Hall of Shame, just an appreciation of the unique genre of dad jokes and a desire to inflict one-line groaners upon an unsuspecting audience. The book is chock full of the dadliest da ..read more

Back in the good old days a parent could shove a pork chop or two in their kids’ winter coat pockets, send them out to play with the local wildlife until suppertime and no one batted an eye. Unfortunately, times have changed and those days have gone the way of lawn jarts and child-sized chainsaws. Whether you’re a work-at-home parent or a stay-at-homer, it’s tough to keep your kids from dying rather loudly from boredom. But! With just a little imagination and even less effort, you can keep your kids occupied for hours at a time! So what are you waiting for? The only time you’ll waste will be ..read more

VALENTINE’S DAY IS COMING. It’s a thought strikes fear into the bravest of men’s hearts. When most people with a pair of testicles think about the holiday, they usually do so with the grim certainty the Starks talk about winter in Game of Thrones. But don’t worry! Whether you’re looking to add a little romance to Valentine’s Day or just trying to show your sweetheart that you’re thinking of her and you’re not an emotionally distant monster, here’s list of just about everything your loved one could possibly want for this most dreaded time of year.   Give the Stylish Gift of Time Jewelry i ..read more