In a relationship, whether this is a romantic relationship or another close relationship, there are a few things we, as humans, typically respond to more desirably. There are also things to which we tend to respond undesirably. Some examples of things that we respond more desirably to would include: validation, communication, loyalty, and trust. Consequently, the absence of some of or all these things can lead to what John Gottman and Nan Silver (The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work, 1999) referred to as the “Four Horseman of the Apocalypse” for a relationship. These “four horsemen” i ..read more

Intimacy is a cornerstone of any close relationship. This intimacy can come from many different parts of a relationship and look very different from one another, but they all have one thing in common; trust and vulnerability. Whether this relationship is between you and your parents, best friend, or romantic partner, if it is a close relationship then they know the real you and you trust them not to hurt you with that information. It is here that we let our walls down that would otherwise be up with other people. Having your walls down is the vulnerable state that makes these relationships so ..read more

After a stressful day it can be difficult to turn off our negative thoughts and feelings. It can be easy to bring stress home after a long day at work, an argument with a friend, or whatever it may be that brought you down. It is important to take care of yourself after a stressful day by checking in with yourself and allowing a mental reset. Taking a mental reset can help in better managing your stress and not allowing it to continue the remainder of the day into the next. The following are ten tips and strategies you can use to help unwind after a stressful day ..read more

An individual’s attachment style is their way to relate to other people. According to attachment theory, developed by a psychologist and psychiatrist in the 1950s, attachment style is developed in early childhood in response to their relationship with their caregiver(s). Our adult attachment style has been shown to mirror the early relationship we had with that caregiver. Attachment styles include the way we emotionally respond to others. The four adult attachment styles are: secure, anxious, avoidant, and fearful-avoidant (disorganized ..read more

Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT) is seeing both sides or in shades of grey in a situation rather than from an all-or-nothing perspective. One of the bases of DBT is using positive distraction strategies. The following are some ideas to manage Anxiety with positive distraction to get your mind focused on something other than what is bothering you ..read more

If you are trying to cope with a divorce, you may experience a grieving process. Know this is normal and that there are several things you can do in order to cope with difficult feelings. Divorces can be exhausting, overwhelming, and full of negative emotions. You may experience feelings of depression, anxiety, and/or stress. Know that these feelings are valid. While you navigate through this grieving process, you may go through cycles of feelings. It is important amidst this to enjoy all the things you previously loved doing and make space for you and what brings you joy ..read more

On social media or in conversation, the term “relationship goals” has gained popularity as a term used in response to an example of a relationship that one feels represents the desired relationship in their life. In couple’s therapy, goals are crucial to establish and continue to interact with and update throughout the process to help keep the treatment focused and productive for the couple. Being able to develop genuine and wise-minded goals is more challenging than you think ..read more

Taking the time to check in with yourself is a very important routine to establish. Oftentimes, these check ins are completed for physical health; between routine doctor and dentist visits, recognizing when an illness or aches and pains begin. When a headache or fever begins, most will take medication to assist in feeling better. While it is important to pay attention to your physical health, it is also important to focus on your mental well-being. Sometimes you may be experiencing stress, sadness, or anger without either realizing it or taking the time to take care of yourself in those moment ..read more

Getting fired is more common than some may realize.  A company can have numerous reasons for letting go of an employee such as budgeting, creative differences, or unsatisfactory performance.  It is important that you find ways to navigate this stressful life change.  ..read more

The unique thing about coping skills is that they are different for everyone! Where one skill may be helpful for you, it may be something that does not work for someone else. It may take trial and error of varied coping skills to see what is unique to helping you. Try out different hobbies or interests to see if they are helpful in alleviating those difficult emotions, commonly these hobbies/interests can also work as coping skills. Additionally, try out coping skills that you may be skeptical about because they could surprise you in a positive way. As time goes on and you begin to learn more ..read more