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Let’s get right down to it shall we? And don’t worry, we’ll get to the music news story of the day eventually mkay? It’s gonna be HUGE! So consider this your preparation for it. I was about to kiss my girlfriend good morning today when I suddenly realized the sneaky bitch had gone and gotten a landing strip thingy while I was asleep or sometime during the time that passed since I kissed it good morning the day before like I do every morning, to say thank you for some of the best..

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1M ago

music news story of the day ..read more

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Okay let’s dive in. I’m assuming you’ve already got your empty bottle of wine, right? If you haven’t, get one. Now, you’ll need 6 small wine glasses. Line them up side by side on a table or in a cabinet you never use, the bottle first and then the glasses. Make sure it’s somewhere no one else will see them, because they’ll start asking weird questions. Fill the glasses with water and leave the bottle empty. Now let's name them to make it more fun. Start from the right to the..

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1M ago

How to Turn Water to Wine – Part 1 ..read more

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PERFECT TIMING Music industry update | Mississippi, USA | Indie artist, Coolidge The title of this article is “How to Turn Water to Wine, Part 2”. Look in the browser address bar and you’ll see. The second title just above, inside the page relates to the music news story we’ll be exploring today, during the course of this article. This is the case with most articles on SRL News and SRL Reviews. If that’s confusing, then this article may be too complex for you, please don’t read..

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1M ago

How to Turn Water to Wine – Part 1 ..read more

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Shhh! Don't tell anyone...

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4M ago

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SAACHI SEN AT THE BIG LOVE MUSIC FESTIVAL 2023 Music industry update | London, UK | Indie artist, Saachi Sen I hate that bitch Alexa. Every time I say something she’s always got something more exciting she wants me to do or something ridiculous that she thought I said; and totally throws me off, or puts me off what I was about to do. Does that bitch speak English at all? It’s like she doesn’t understand a word I’m saying. The other day I said “Good Lord Alexa, I’m so horny” and..

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1y ago

Miley Cyrus twerking at the 2013 MTV Awards ..read more

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All I remember from that moment was really blurry so forgive me if this is not really specific. He said “you’ve got a date with a toilet bowl in the morning so I’m gonna make this quick so you don't miss it”. He said “you say you’re broke, well how much money have you got, damn it? Gimme a number!” I said “I don’t know, maybe twenty? Fifty maybe. Not very much”. He said “well how the f*ck can you say you’re broke if you don’t even know how much you’ve f*cking got..

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1y ago

You know that song that goes "You never count your money when you're sittin' at the table ..read more

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I’m not a couchie monster like all these young f*ckers that eat everything and walk around in torn, dirty clothes with expressionless eyes looking like Dua Lipa in that Michael Jackson Thriller video. Oh you didn’t know she was in there? Watch it again, they’re all Dua Lipa. I wear a suit and a tie to work and I’m a really awesome and dignified writer but to be honest with you I haven’t always been this amazing. In fact the reason I became a writer was because my literature teacher..

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1y ago

Watch it again, they’re all Dua Lipa ..read more

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The instructions I was given was that no matter what I write about I must touch on 3 specific subject matters every single time: Jesus, p*ssy and dollars; or else my articles would be rejected. I think I’ve almost got the pussy cat part covered so let’s quickly finish that up and then we’ll have just two left to go and then we’ll get down to the music news story of the day that you came here for. You can read the original “Jesus, p*ssy and dollars” article written by one of my..

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1y ago

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Close your eyes - it's darker than that

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1y ago

Have a genius day, from me “the ideas guy” and the rest of the team here at the SRL writers room. See you tomorrow. news story you and I both are here for. The reason I picked that task today was to shed light on the fact that with every new gadget invented to solve our problems, humans create less problem solving brain cells – the same brain cells that bring about big ideas, geniuses, and other intelligent stuff. AI is coming, in fact it’s already here. So you’ll need to be really sharp to remain relevant, we’ll all need to be. When I thought about how ridiculous it was that I had worn the sa ..read more

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Born again (Jesus really wanted you to see this)

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1y ago

This week’s task is very simple. I want you to pay attention to your metaphorical Yo-yo and your metaphorical Boomerang. The yo-yo symbolizes love and the boomerang symbolizes hate. Pay close attention to your boomerang and make sure you’re not playing with it at all. And no – not even when you order a Frappuccino and they give you a Cappuccino EVERY SINGLE TIME, or when you’re approaching the finish line only to find out your boyfriend had already finished the race when he made a sudden jerking motion like he had just been struck by lightning and is ready to hit the showers. Or when you run o ..read more

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