Tanya and Marcus had been married for sixteen years when she learned of Marcus’s affair. The emotional fallout of an affair is immense. And for many, it includes feelings and behavior they never could have predicted—quite often, uncharacteristic behavior. This article will focus on what happens when painful curiosity about the affair partner turns into excruciating, ongoing obsession. We’… Source ..read more

Healing from infidelity is a complex and challenging process. As a couple attempts to rebuild post-affair, it is common for uncertainty to linger. One or both individuals may have doubts about whether rebuilding is feasible, or if it is even worth the painstaking work. As healing progresses, this uncertainty tends to fade, replaced by the tangible effects of dedicated affair recovery work. Source ..read more

It’s no exaggeration to say that infidelity is one of the most devastating things that can happen to a committed relationship, if not the most devastating. Successful intimate relationships are built on trust, and the betrayal of an affair shatters that trust. With patience and dedication and hard work on the part of the betrayed as well as the partner who cheated, many couples go on to… Source ..read more

Betrayal trauma is often oversimplified as a singular traumatic experience, yet its true nature is complex and layered. This complexity arises because betrayal trauma doesn’t end when the betrayal ends; instead, it initiates a series of complicated emotional reactions in the betrayed individual that unfold over time. The discovery of the betrayal initially sparks a wide range of overwhelming... Source ..read more

The lingering effects of childhood abuse can manifest in complicated ways, shaping how adult survivors of abuse see themselves and how they interact with others. Many survivors of childhood abuse adopt coping strategies to manage the psychological after-effects of the abuse, even if those strategies remain largely automatic or subconscious. For instance, as a means of self-protection... Source ..read more

Pain might have brought you to this article. The heartache of being betrayed by someone you love and trust is among the most painful, disorienting experiences anyone can face. During the infidelity aftermath, many betrayed partners are overwhelmed by intense feelings and consumed with questions about what has occurred, and why. You might be trying to make sense of this traumatic experience and... Source ..read more

Childhood trauma — sexual, emotional or physical abuse; the death or abandonment of a parent — can have a lasting impact on an individual’s sense of self and emotional wellbeing. Certain traumatic events shake us at our core, negatively impacting the foundation of our self-development. If we don’t deal with them, these unresolved emotional wounds can impede the ability to form healthy... Source ..read more

No one wakes up one day and thinks, “Hmm, I can be pretty avoidant at times.” Coming to this realization can be a real slog, and often it’s only feedback from others that even gets us to think about what kind of attachment style we have. Relationships are where avoidant attachment dynamics are born, and intimate relationships in particular are where they manifest the most dramatically. Source ..read more

Anger is a common and normal reaction to being betrayed. For some, it’s a constant as they attempt to recover from the psychological devastation of a betrayal trauma. You may find that you go to bed angry and wake up angry, unable to shake it off. Or you might have prolonged respites from feeling any anger at all, only to be blindsided by it when you least expect it. Depending on where you are in... Source ..read more

If you’ve cheated on your partner or spouse, you are probably witnessing the emotional and behavioral rollercoaster of a betrayal trauma. Like any challenging path, the journey toward healing is not without its twists and turns. The commitment to surviving infidelity requires both individual as well as relational understanding and healing. It can be daunting to figure out where to begin the affair... Source ..read more