By Stefanie Krasnow New years resolutions are full of optimism, determination, and good intentions. But, as you probably know from your own experience, they often don’t work. We might start off hitting the gas hard and feel jubilant as we witness a solid week, or month, of a new habit only to have it peter off before February, leaving us feeling deflated and disempowered. For most of us, new years resolutions often stay in our minds and don’t even begin to turn into practiced, new behavior. By the second week of January, we are back to the grind and the doldrums with our lofty aspirations gath ..read more

By Stefanie Krasnow Loss of libido is the number one reason that folks seek out sex therapy. As we approach two years into a global pandemic, and the darkest days of the year, our sense of vitality and confidence are dimming and with that, our libido as well. Sexual desire can wane for completely normal and reasonable reasons — the winter blues, pandemic stress, the demands of work, physical illness or injury, fatigue, disconnection or imbalance in our relationship — but despite this most people feel like something is wrong with them for not wanting to have sex irrelevant of the conditions of ..read more

Self-compassion is the practice of being kind with ourselves when confronting challenges and framing our struggles as part of the human experience, rather than as personal shortcomings, failures or pathologies. For this reason, self-compassion is a powerful antidote to shame and can improve our relationship with ourselves and others. While it’s easier said than done, self-compassion involves turning inward to our suffering with the same intention that we would give to another who is suffering — we offer care to others when they are having a hard time not as a way to ‘fix’ or cure them but as a ..read more

By Stefanie Krasnow Are you stuck in the blame game with your partner? Having the same fight over and over again? Chances are, you are both likely doing the same thing over and over again expecting different results. If your goal is to create repair, resolve conflict productively, and move a “same old” conversation forward into new terrain, then you have to learn how to lay down your weapons, and pick up tools that create connection and understanding. This blog post is a stepping stone in teaching you how to do that. But first, we really need to understand the scope of the problem, and how muc ..read more

By Stefanie Krasnow “Couples counselling” carries with it, for some, an omen of a doom for a relationship. The image that gets conjured for most when hearing the phrase “couples therapy” is the image of a middle-aged, heterosexual, cis-gendered, white, couple who can afford to send their kids to soccer and ballet classes while they spend two hours a week in a couples therapists office, desperately trying to ‘save their marriage. This image of who couples therapy is for alienates those who identify as queer, folks in polyamorous relationship configurations, BIPOC folks, folks who live outside o ..read more

When life throws us challenges that exceed our capacity to cope, we become overwhelmed. The etymology of the word speaks accurately to the experience: the mid-14th century Middle English overwhelmen, means “to turn upside down, overthrow, or knock over” or “to submerge completely.” Usually, when life is going okay-enough, we can brace ourselves, summon our strengths and ‘surf’ the waves of difficulties. But when life throws us too much at once, our knees buckle, the waves submerge us completely, our life gets turned upside down—our best efforts overthrown. Symptoms of overwhelm Overwhelm can s ..read more

By Rami Nijjar Folks with ADHD are becoming increasingly curious about the impact that neurodivergence has on their dating and sex lives.  And for good reason.  ADHD (attention deficit hyperactivity disorder) a diagnosis characterized by inattention, hyperactivity, and impulsivity, comes with its strengths (creativity, spontaneity, innovation, high energy, and the ability to be hyper-focused when it matters) and its challenges.  Essentially, navigating ADHD means becoming very mindful of one’s internal states (including sexual arousal) and understanding how being over-stimulated ..read more

The holiday season can be hard for many of us. As every barista, grocer teller and passerby chirps “happy holidays” with a well-meaning smile, a little part of you might wince or cringe. The holidays can be a time of great loneliness and sorrow for some, and for others the holidays might bring challenging if not unbearable encounters with our families. It can be really isolating to feel like the only scrooge on the block. Here are 3 coping tips for getting through the holiday season: 1. You are not alone If the holidays are challenging for you for any reason, know first and foremost that yo ..read more

By Stefanie Krasnow Some people think sexual struggles are a minor concern; that issues like addiction or depression are heftier and more serious. Regardless of who you are and what you want your sex life to look like, one feature of sexual struggles is nearly ubiquitous: the fear that you are “abnormal”, that something is wrong with you, your body, or your relationship. More often than not, what is “wrong” is not you, your body, or your relationship, but the beliefs around sexuality that you uphold. Sometimes these beliefs are conscious (i.e. you can verbalize them and are aware of them) and ..read more

By Rami Nijjar Cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) is touted by the experts as one of the most effective types of therapy.  But what is it exactly.  To put it briefly, CBT is a way of understanding how our thoughts and beliefs have a direct impact on our emotional experiences and reactions.  By using CBT techniques, we are able to stop and look at the thoughts that we have in a given situation.  From here we can see how these thoughts impact our internal (emotions) and external (reactions) to a given situation.  This gives us a prime vantage point to intervene, choose ..read more