Is tango changing in ways you don't like?  In my practice as a therapist, I have a new way to help people be "resilient."  The easy way to say this word is simply, "willing to change."  And the motto is, "Change more than the world around you changes."  The person who does this adapts and is resilient.  How does this apply to maintaining your love for tango?  Simply "change more than the world around you changes." So many people give up something because their loved activity changes.  "I don't dance anymore because __________.  Does tango need ..read more

El Sendero de Esmeraldas  We hear the divine Voice, music. We hold each other naturally  In a close embrace, moving To her Voice, no sense of leading  Or following one another,  Only moved by her Voice, A deep sense of surrender.  Emerald Path on Earthly Heaven, Body-trance in heaven’s possession.  by Mark Word March 2023 Parkstein, Bavaria Germany Photocredit:  https://www.peakpx.com/en/hd-wallpaper-desktop-gpdjz ..read more

Sleeping is a primal need. Dancing is a primal need.  We don't need to choose between them.  We need both. Some will say sleep is more important, and it is.  But dance is also is a human need and a major marker that we are human and not apes (who don't dance spontaneously as humans do).  Dancing is a subcategory of the need to move, but a very important and unique need. But here is the thing--one primal need, sleep, is too often being canceled out for the lesser need and desire of tango.     So here are a few questions for you:  Are you still are g ..read more

We the People ... ... should put our freedoms in the right order.  Ameican freedoms, as prioritized in the Constitutional Amendments, got it wrong. This post is not against or for guns; it's about prioritizing freedoms.  I propose that people keep their guns if they think they need them, but as far as priorities, the Second Amendment should be changed from the freedom to own arms to the Freedom of Movement, and that includes dance: To open one's arms and dance. Now, this sounds cute and simple, doesn't it?  But I am serious. Do oppressive governments FIRST fear the free ..read more

  On New Year's Eve, the woman at the cash register asked if I would be doing something special for New Year's Eve.    I said, "My wife and I are dancers. I will dance in my living room, and then go to bed at about 10pm. Vertical tango is for the day; horizontal tango is for the night."  She laughed.  "I will tell my husband that!"  I gathered my receipt and started to leave. She called out with a big smile. "Happy New Year!"   "Thanks, happy New Year!" I said with a wave. I rarely go to late tango events. Especially on New Year's Eve.  I ..read more

  My goal is to be my best. For those who do not dance, let me share a fact:  It is a rare thing to have your own partner as your favorite dancer. But let’s say that you marry your favorite dancer. What happens when another great dancer replaces you?  So it was never my goal to be my wife's best dance partner. It still isn’t.  After years of dancing together, however, Sybille has become my favorite. We have great dances with others, and then when we reunite, we both rediscover how wonderful we are together.  It’s always a wonderful surprise. After dancing with others ..read more

If you know a bit about chess, you might have noticed that the chess piece pictured above is not really the king but a pawn.  The cliché that customers are kings is simply not the best business model for many endeavors, and certainly not good for tango events.  Customers sometimes at times need to be thrown out of the store! Tango organizers have many important social relationships, and many people to please--not just dance customers who may see themselves as all-important.  Organizers have to have good relationships with volunteers, paid staff, DJs, the building owner, neigh ..read more

  Burnout Insurance.  I suggest buying some tango burnout insurance. There are only two steps. First, assess how much you value tango. Step two, figure out at least the most likely risks of giving up because of tango burnout. 1.  Assessing the value of dance:  Even if tango-burnout insurance would cost a lot (it doesn't), it would be worth every bit of money and energy needed to buy it. The valuation I give dance is "PRICELESS." Dancing contains my humanity as a dancing, social animal. That is what all humans are. I feel fully alive when I dance. As babies, music made  ..read more

Encuentro in Newport News, Virginia by Ivy Garrenton Sybille, my wife, and I were talking about the five languages of tango, and I think she formulated what allows people to stay a long time in tango: "People start dancing tango for different reasons, but those who stay with tango, stay because their dominant love language is the Language of Touch," she quipped. I think she is has a good point. Dying to dance tango? No. At least, I don't think it is dancing that we are so missing. It is probably more that you are dying to have human touch.  A desire to have soc ..read more

Will tango survive the pandemic?   What helps the body survive is exactly what will help tango survive. But surviving is not the same as thriving.  If you ask a pediatrician or geriatric physician about what "failure to thrive" means in medicine, they will tell stories of vulnerable children and mature adults who died from a lack of touch.  A "failure to thrive" tango community has a problem with touch too.  Death looms. The need for human touch is correlated to human longevity itself.  That is what "thriving" is!  However, once the risk of a ..read more