After suffering two strokes, my mother said to the doctor, “I don’t know why God didn’t just let me die?” The doctor said, “Must be God still has work for you to do.” Mom replied, “I can’t imagine what that would be. I’m no good for anything!”  Then the doctor offered this observation: “It’s your smile. When I walked into this room you smiled the most loving, beautiful smile. I think people right here in this nursing home need your smile.” The reverend Jim Kok once wrote, “A friend of mine arrived at church early for a meeting, so she sat in her car listening to the radio.  Someone p ..read more

“Every once in a while, a person enters our life and remains in our heart forever.” Recently I met such a man, and he will remain in my heart forever.  Why? Because even though he is battling cancer, he reaches out and is helping other individuals who have cancer. He, (let’s call him “Scott,”) initiated the formation of a club called the “Wallflowers Cancer Club.” I believe that he chose this name because he is an introvert, and other introverts seem to connect with him. Scott was diagnosed with high-risk cancer a year and a half ago, and shortly thereafter, a man in California with the ..read more

How do you make a positive difference in this world? Consider taking the following quiz, which is based on the philosophy of Charles Schulz, the creator of the “Peanuts” comic strip. Name the five wealthiest people in the world. Name the last five Heisman trophy winners. Name ten people who have won the Nobel or Pulitzer Prize. Name the last half dozen Academy Award winners for best actor and actress. Name the last decade’s worth of World Series winners. How did you do? The point is none of us remember the headliners of yesterday. These are no second-rate achievers. They are the best in thei ..read more

I was napping, or trying to, on my Florida deck, and couldn’t accomplish my goal, because workers below me were digging a trench and chatting constantly. Most of their conversations were muffled, but one comment rang loud and clear.  One man said, “He knew my name,” and then he repeated it, “He knew my name!”  I don’t know who it was that knew his name, but I was struck by how important the recognition was.  This man below my deck felt seen and valued because someone knew his name. This incident reminded me of the theme song from the classic TV show, “Cheers.” Sometimes you wann ..read more

In January we asked our Facebook page followers to share their best advice for newly engaged couples. We wanted to get real-life love stories about how couples can care well for each other. Over 200 people responded! Here are the highlights: Communication and Relationship Dynamics 1. Keep God in the center of your life. 2. Respect the silly things about each other. 3. True love means staying together through the bad times. You are there for each other. 4. [It’s] good to be each other’s best friend. This way there is no jealousy. One always wants the best for their best friend. Help each other ..read more

For our family, February brings multiple birthdays, several milestone anniversaries (including Neil’s death in 2015), and of course, Valentine’s Day. But lots of people don’t relish that heart-filled holiday. If you’re grieving someone you love, you probably want to dress in midnight black instead of red. If you aren’t in a romantic relationship, you may want to stay under the covers and ignore the day. The modern interpretation of Valentine’s Day love is romantic, but it doesn’t have to be. There are multiple kinds of love. Yes, eros, romantic love, is one of them. Neil and I had some awesome ..read more

At the end of our lives, we won’t be so concerned with how many times we went to the mall, how many rounds of golf we played, or how many “likes” we got on social media. But we will most likely ask ourselves, “Did my life make a difference?”   So, keeping this idea in mind, when my sister and I prepared for my mom’s 85th birthday party, we asked all the members of the family to write her a note or letter sharing a special memory and describing what they especially admired or liked about her. We saved these letters in a photo album filled with pictures of her life. Here are some of the che ..read more

The world can seem dark with its news of escalating wars, people starving, friends and family members struggling with cancer, the upcoming presidential election, our nation’s loneliness epidemic and other sad and scary news. Against this bleak backdrop, I read an article in The New York Times written by Catherine Price, “When the World Feels Dark, Seek Out Delight” which didn’t dissolve all the bad news but helped me to also hold on to some light, or perhaps you might say, some “delight.” Catherine suggests that we “make a point to notice things in our everyday life that delight you.  Thi ..read more

I hate spiders. They are creepy. However, I have always been fond of Charlotte, the kind spider in E.B. White’s classic children’s story Charlotte’s Web. Perhaps I set aside my dislike of spiders in Charlotte’s case because she was such a stellar model of what a caring friend should be.   While I was trying to think positively about spiders this morning, I recalled the exquisite art piece they create. As a young girl living on a farm, I often saw these delicate silky webs shining on corners of the barn or in trees.  Sometimes I poked the webs with a stick not to destroy it, but to se ..read more

Do you know an elderly relative or friend and wonder what to give them for Christmas? Here are some holiday gift ideas that are sure to show you care. Elderly people feel the cold more, so a cozy lap blanket, afghan, bed jacket, or a “wearable blanket” like a Snuggie or Comfy would be a good gift. Offer to come by and decorate the Christmas tree.  Bring some goodies and Christmas music and make it a party. Buy them a new board game or a holiday-themed jigsaw puzzle and a promise to come by and play with them.  Be sure to follow through on the promise. A fruit or flower/plant-of-the ..read more