This week, in a break from our regular schedule, I’m going to be celebrating some acts with plenty of Top 10 hits to their name. Household names, the lot of them. But acts that, for whatever reason, have never made it to pole position. In fact, the acts I’m going to cover – two bands, two soloists; three whose careers began in the ’80s and stretch to the present day, one who was present on the very first chart way back in 1952 – are perhaps the unluckiest pop stars around. They are the bands and artists who have managed the most Top 10 hits without ever making number one. As recompense for the ..read more

Time for a ‘Best of the Rest’ rundown for one of the most consistent hitmakers of the eighties and nineties. In fact, Pet Shop Boys’ run of Top 10 hits spans exactly twenty years, from their first #1 ‘West End Girls’ in 1986, to 2006’s ‘I’m With Stupid’. Neil and Chris were a bit short-changed, for my money, in terms of their chart-toppers. Far worse acts have had far more than just four number ones… But, I’ve said it before and may as well say it again, the chart gods are fickle. Here then are PSB’s ten biggest non-number one hits. Unlike similar posts I’ve published in the past, I’m not rank ..read more

In my post on Madonna’s first UK number one single, ‘Into the Groove’, I found myself looking for controversy in the (slightly) saucy lyrics. When you grew up with Jesus-humping, cone-bra wearing, sex book Madonna then you do expect her to have been raising hackles with every release… Papa Don’t Preach, by Madonna (her 2nd of thirteen #1s) 3 weeks, from 6th – 27th July 1986 ‘Into the Groove’ wasn’t particularly troublesome, while ‘Like a Virgin’ missed #1 altogether, but we haven’t had to wait too long for some top-spot controversy. For her 2nd chart-topper, Madge tells the tale of a pregnant ..read more

Questions arise pretty quickly, as I listen to this next bizarre little chart-topper. Is it based on the ‘Beverly Hills Cops’ theme? Is it about Mozart? And most importantly: is it a novelty record…? Rock Me Amadeus, by Falco (his 1st and only #1) 1 week, from 4th – 11th May 1986 Before answering any of those, I’m going to have to admit – I’m really enjoying this. It’s funky, throbbing, moody… and completely ridiculous. Despite it being ponderously slow, you can dance to it. I’m also most fond of synths when they are used in this clanking, industrial way; rather than for showy flourishes. It ..read more

I have something to confess. I’ve been putting off writing this next post. It’s been a full week since I put fingers to keyboard and mused on ‘Merry Christmas Everyone’. But why? When up next is one of the most respected and best loved #1s of the eighties, if not of all time…? Because, to be honest, I’ve never really got this one… West End Girls, by Pet Shop Boys (their 1st of four #1s) 2 weeks, from 5th – 19th January 1986 It’s a statement first chart-topper for 1986. An enigmatic intro: footsteps, traffic, waves crashing (?)… A very slow build. And I will say that the moment the beat drops ..read more

Our next number one reminds me of something… Glossy, confident synths. Broad power chords. A former frontman going solo… Ah yes… It takes me all the way back to two chart-toppers ago, and Midge Ure’s ‘If I Was’. A Good Heart, by Feargal Sharkey (his 1st and only #1) 2 weeks, from 10th – 24th November 1985 I do like the intro here. In fact it might be my favourite part of the song, the way that it gives the feeling of racing down a motorway, with the chiming guitars sounding like cars flying past in the opposite direction. I have no idea if that’s what they were going for, but it’s great. Real ..read more

The Eurythmics grab their only UK #1, then. One week at the top for an act I’d suggest were worth a few more. But at least they grab their chance here, and deliver a classic. Their sole chart-topper comes in at a hundred miles an hour, with an impressive a cappella intro from Annie Lennox. There Must Be an Angel (Playing with My Heart), by Eurythmics (their 1st and only #1) 1 week, from 21st – 28th July 1985 La-da-dee-doo-n-doo-n-daaa… That’s what it sounds like to me anyway, leading the way into a song about the joys of being in love. I walk into an empty room, Suddenly my heart goes boom… I ..read more

Birmingham’s finest return for their second chart-topper, with what might be the most obnoxious intro to a #1 single ever. Ta-la-la-la… The re-fle-fle-fle-fle-flex…! It’s brash, it’s in your face, it’s Duran Duran… The Reflex, by Duran Duran (their 2nd and final #1) 4 weeks, from 29th April – 27th May 1984 I’m imagining Duran Duran as those annoying kids you’ll find in any school playground, the ones needing constant attention from whoever will give them it, demanding everyone watch as they dance and cartwheel around, while the quieter, more thoughtful kids go unnoticed… (I’m not reliving any ..read more

Heresss Frankie! In a way, I dread coming across (filthy pun very much intended…) #1 records like this. Huge megalithic-hits that have had everything written about them, and then some. But we gotta cover them all, so… Relax, by Frankie Goes to Hollywood (their 1st of three #1s) 5 weeks, from 22nd January – 26th February 1984 That’s not to say I dislike this record. Far from it: this is almost the perfect number one. It’s catchy, it’s memorable, it’s a real cultural moment… and it pissed off all the right people. In fact, that first bit – ‘Relax’s catchiness – is the one aspect of this song th ..read more

Atmospheric, electronic, and über-cool… Ja. Kraftwerk ist da! The Model / Computer Love, by Kraftwerk (their 1st and only #1) 1 week, 31st January – 7th February 1982 She’s a model, And she’s looking good… It has to be said, German-accented English is the perfect voice in which to deliver an electro-pop hit like this. She plays hard to get, She smiles from time to time… While this model sounds a bit high-maintenance: all champagne, nightclubs and envious glances… A drum-machine keeps steady, deliberate time, while two or three different synths play variations of the main, instantly memorable ..read more