Photo credit: Hisu Lee We’ve heard it said many times, you probably have as well, and it goes like this, “People live so much longer these days, it’s unreasonable to expect a marriage to last all their life.”  It’s certainly true that life expectancy has increased in recent generations in many countries.  For our grandparents (born at the turn of the 20th century), life expectancy was around 55 for men and 59 for women (in Australia).   A hundred years later, their great grandchildren, born around 2000 AD, can expect to live approximately 77 years for men and 82 for women ..read more

It can be a deep comfort to be heard and validated. Photo: Pexels.com A few years back, our 23-year-old son found himself accompanying a stranger. At the time he was working for a building company that specialised in upgrades and maintenance for safety compliance. When he knocked on the door to discuss the scheduled works with a resident, the woman burst into tears. Her partner had cheated on her, she sobbed to our bewildered son. Some minutes later, embarrassed, she declared “You don’t get paid enough for this!” and insisted on making him coffee. Apparently, it was terrible coffee, but he did ..read more

Stonewalling – aka ‘the silent treatment’ – is common in many marriages. Never helpful and poorly understood, we ignore it at our risk.   Stonewalling is the practice of withdrawing from an interaction, shutting down and closing ourselves off from the other. We may be physically still present, but we become un-responsive, emotionally withdrawn, and non-communicative.  For our spouse, it is profoundly frustrating as it is like a wall between us, and it feels impossible to connect meaningfully. Sometimes called ‘the silent treatment’, stonewalling is another of the seven deadly ha ..read more

Safety tips that all parents would know for your teenagers’ next party or invitation with confidence. Photo: Unsplash We all know horror stories of teen parties gone wrong and organising one in your own home can feel especially daunting. But with just a few precautions in mind these are important opportunities for fun, socialisation and great memory-making. With five children aged 19 down to 10 I’ve seen a lot of teen parties and had a few at home. I honestly enjoy them better than when our children were very small! It makes me feel so proud to see our kids and their friends create their own s ..read more

One of the most effective ways to instil these values is by encouraging children to do chores and manage their own pocket money. Photo: Freepik.com “I need some money.” Along with “I’m bored.” and “Are we there yet?” this would have to be a fairly typical refrain in most families with kids under the roof. Despite the rising cost of living children are growing up in an era of instant gratification. The need to teach them the value of money, of working towards a common goal, and that it’s important to maintain relationships as well as material possessions is as important than ever. One of the mo ..read more

A couple pictured after the annual Marriage Mass on 2 July 2017 at St Mary’s Cathedral, Sydney. PHOTO: Giovanni Portelli Many married couples think that their sexual intimacy is completely separate from their spiritual life. In fact, it is not uncommon to hear couples talk as though these two aspects of their lives are in opposition to each other—that their lovemaking is “permitted” but somehow compromises their path to holiness. This common view is not what the church teaches. Rather, the church holds that the sexual communion of husband and wife is sacramental and sacred. We remember when we ..read more

If I have ever experienced moments of deep, silent, wordless contemplation it has been in certain remembered moments with the children, says Marilyn Rodrigues. Like many mums this Sunday I will be lucky enough to have a fancy breakfast delivered to me in bed, made lovingly and laboriously by my kids (with help from their dad). And after all that hard and hungry work, at least one of them is likely to wriggle carefully under the quilt so as not to spill my coffee and kindly point out that surely it’s too much to eat all by myself—and would I like a little help? There are probably as many ways t ..read more

Spiritual motherhood can be mentoring of colleagues, the care of elders, the spiritual adoption of priests or religious missionaries, or in our case, the accompaniment of couples in their relationships.It’s no mistake that the modern celebration of Mothers’ Day occurs in May – the month of Mary. Our heavenly mother is the model of motherhood from whom all – men and women alike – take inspiration. We’ve often joked that it takes mere seconds to conceive a child but years of sleeplessness and self-denial to raise one. While that’s no exaggeration for fathers, it’s not quite true for mothers; the ..read more

Photo: Unsplash Renewing marriages and giving couples the tools they need to live marriage exceptionally will be the focus when international speaker Christopher Padgett presents at three events in Sydney focusing on marriage renewal in May. But that’s not all. With a world desperately in need of stable marriage and family life and with Pope Francis calling on several occasions in recent years for the establishment of a marriage catechumenate, it’s hoped some of those who participate will become interested in offering marriage formation and ministry in Sydney to help build a culture of marriag ..read more

Disagreement can be respectful; quarrelling attempts to dominate and shut down the other. Photo: Freepik.com Several years ago, we were invited onto a TV breakfast show to talk about marriage. We are all familiar with the format; people interviewed on couches with a polite live studio audience. It’s light and airy entertainment; sort of fairy floss for the mind. An unexpected question was posed by one of the hosts: “Do you think every marriage can be saved?” It was a loaded question, posed by a high-profile celebrity who we knew had been twice married and divorced. She was the self-appointed m ..read more