​“And we’re the three best friends that anybody could have, we’re the three best friends that anybody could have, and we’ll never ever ever ever ever leave each other…”   When I think of The Hangover, my mind immediately jumps to Alan’s ode to his “wolf pack.”  While said members of the pack probably don’t reciprocate his feelings, it brings to mind how powerful friendship can be.    This is the central tenet of Rhaina Cohen’s new book, The Other Significant Others: Reimagining Life with Friendship at the Center (I’ll use the acronym OSO for the rest of this post), in which ..read more

This essay was presented at the Northeast Modern Language Association Conference in Boston, Massachusetts on March 8, 2024.  It is a first draft of a personal essay I hope to submit to a publication. “Being single as an adult” were the words I typed into that Google search bar that humid Tuesday afternoon.  I had recently been broken up with, yet again, and the anger perforated throughout my body.  I was thirty-six, had completed my first year in a tenure-track position at a university, and had never been married.  Basically, there was something wrong with me.  “You n ..read more

This paper was delivered at the Northeast Modern Language Association Conference at the Sheraton Hotel, Boston, Massachusetts on March 7, 2024.  It is a first draft and part of a much larger project. Introduction   We love romance.  We love it on a structural level, as married couples are given privilege in laws and policies throughout the world.  We love it on a spiritual principal, as marriage and other forms of coupling are often referred to as “holy unions.”  We also love it on our popular culture consumption.  Movies and television series often end with char ..read more

​“I’m addicted to NeMLA.” So said Moises, the moderator of the panel during which I read a first draft of a personal essay, “Single Does Not Mean Bad: On Embracing One’s Own Lone Wolf Tendencies.”  And I’d think it’s safe to say I am too.  Elizabeth and I moderated a Singles Studies panel for the third year in a row, and we had some great presentations.  From one, I got inspired to check out Bridesmaids; apparently, there’s a pro-single spin I just didn’t see in my initial viewing of the film.  And some anger-inducing political rhetoric presented by Elizabeth (gotta love t ..read more

​I find My Name is Earl the right mix of laugh-out-loud funny and poignant.  The antics of the characters crack me up, and there’s often a touching message that gives me goosebumps.   The premise for those unfamiliar: Earl is a layabout, drunk, and petty thief who, after finding a $1 million lottery ticket, is hit by a car and loses his ticket.  While in the hospital, he learns about the concept of karma from Carson Daly, and he concludes that he lost his lottery ticket because of all the bad things he’d done.  By logic, he also reasons that if he does good things, good thi ..read more

​“Are you Chazz?”  “Are you Chazz?”  I’ve never been asked that question so many times in one setting.  “Chazz Pop” is my Facebook pseudonym so that my students don’t find me.  If you’re a student of mine and you’re reading, it’s nothing personal; I just like to keep my private and professional lives separate.  But yes, I’m known as Chazz on the Community of Single Page (CoSP) page, and it was fun meeting folks I’d only known by their discourse on the page.   I will admit, though, those lines too blur when it comes to my work in Singles Studies.  Like most o ..read more

One of the positive things that emerged from the pandemic is the ability to connect with others on a global scale.  Ketaki Chowkhani (India) and I (United States) have developed a deep friendship and partnership; we organized a conference and have our collection, Singular Selves, coming out in September 2023.  Elyakim Kislev (Israel) and I also had a few Zoom chats and collaborated on a pair of articles, including “Changing the Language of Singlehood” and “Why Romance Movies May Be a Social Problem.”   But there’s nothing quite like a face-to-face interaction.  So when Elya ..read more

​  I’ve said it many times on this blog, but solo travel isn’t just amazing; it’s necessary.  Everyone should do it at least once in their lives, whether they’re single for now or forever.  But it can be scary to some.  What will everybody think?  Will people look at me?  What if I get lost?  Those are common, understandable thoughts.  Fear is a natural, fight-or-flight response to an unknown situation.  But, as many therapists will tell you, the best way to get over a fear is to confront it head-on.   Two of my close friends are relative newbi ..read more

​Dear TTIE:   We admire your mission to help storytellers write non-stereotypical portrayals of characters from marginalized groups. In order to help you enhance your mission, we would love to help you create a fact sheet about how to write unoffensive, realistic portrayals of single people. In this note, we explain what “singlism” is, how scriptwriters unintentionally commit singlism, and how they can write better single characters. Both of us have extensive experience advocating for unmarried and socially single people; our advocacy work has appeared in national publications, multiple p ..read more

One pastor said, "Would all the single people stand up?"   They did.   He said, "I hope all of you find a good spouse."   Another pastor said, "Would all the married people stand up?"   They did.   He said, "I hope all of you find a good divorce attorney."   The second didn't actually happen to my knowledge. But, in all seriousness, though, if you're offended/upset by the second pastor and NOT the first, you may wish to look at how you've been conditioned to believe that marriage is the right way and singlehood is the wrong way. ​ Research the terms "singlism," "m ..read more