Arriving in my inbox this week was a music video about gratitude which invited me to be “grateful for it all.  I believe that our healing does not end when we can manage our flashbacks, recover from our addictions and free ourselves from shame and secrets.  All these are important steps in our journey to become fully all we are meant to be.  I believe there is more to life than simply surviving.  Thriving is possible for each one of us.  One way to thrive involves choosing how we orient ourselves to the world.  Do we let our painful experiences shape the way we mo ..read more

For survivors of sexual abuse and trauma the holiday season can be particularly difficult to navigate. Societal expectations around the holidays place extra pressure. Family gatherings can be especially challenging. In this post three male survivors share their reflections on these questions: How are they challenging for you?  What have you found helpful during the holidays?  What remains a challenge for you? Last year I decided to change my approach for the holiday season. Being single now makes it hard to get into the Christmas spirit. When I was living in my house, my family decor ..read more

We have all been wounded.  It is a reality of life.  For survivors of sexual violence and abuse the wounds can go deep and the impact can be life long.  The journey of healing takes us beyond merely surviving to thriving.  A part of thriving is using our experience to give help others.  When survivors get together in community there is a healing power unlike any other.  I’ve been gifted with others along my healing journey willing to share their experiences, their wisdom, their compassion and grace with me.  And I get to share mine with them. There is so much ..read more

This blog post is written by Ralph Gaebler is a retired librarian and lives in Bloomington, Indiana. He attended a Weekend of Recovery at Hope Springs, Ohio, in November 2019. I like to think of the psychological and related behavioral consequences of rape as just a mill stone around my neck. This is helpful for several reasons. First, it helps me remember that the consequences of rape do not define me. They are not even a part of me; they are just a problem I must deal with in struggling to live the life I believe is virtuous. Second, it helps me remember I am no different from anyone else, f ..read more

Here in Maine we are slipping out of summer into fall.  I’m not sure we ever really had summer, definitely not the expected “normal” Maine summer.  We had lots of rain and humidity.  For long stretches it seemed if it didn’t rain today, don’t worry, it will rain tomorrow.  Our winter dreams of warm, sunny summer days turnout to be soggy, sticky days.  Still the seasons turn, life goes on, and we are beginning to experience cooler, bright days of fall. I think life is like this.  Reality often fails to meet our expectations. On the healing journey we expect to be b ..read more

Here in Maine we treasure summer. After surviving another winter we try to take in every bit of sunshine, warm breezes and long days to refresh our spirits and recharge our batteries. The blog is going on summer break. We’ll be back. I hope you enjoy your summer where ever you are. Be well. Stay safe. Take good care. Mike ..read more

Beyond Survival: Still We Rise, welcomes a new contributor to the blog. He is sharing with us some of what he has learned on his healing journey. If you have something you’d like to share in the blog, please reach out to me in the comment section below or at mi*******@me********.org. My name is George. That’s not my real name, but I find that I cannot yet use my real name in describing publicly the process of my recovery from sexual abuse. It is all still too raw, even 51 years after it occurred on a November night in 1971. That is  truly an astonishing fact. However, I have reached a poi ..read more

You are not alone.  One of the first steps in my healing journey was to learn there were others like me.  I have come to believe that a critical part of healing is to be with others who are also survivors.  I treasure the small group of men I am a part of who meets to talk, support, laugh and cry together.  They are folks who “get it.”  I can just me myself in the group.  It is a safe, supportive place. The first group I joined was one for persons who had completed a MenHealing Weekend of Recovery.  While the group lasted 15 weeks many of us continue to meet ..read more

Arriving in my inbox this week was a music video about gratitude which invited me to be “grateful for it all.  I believe that our healing does not end when we can manage our flashbacks, recover from our addictions and free ourselves from shame and secrets.  All these are important steps in our journey to become fully all we are meant to be.  I believe there is more to life than simply surviving.  Thriving is possible for each one of us.  One way to thrive involves choosing how we orient ourselves to the world.  Do we let our painful experiences shape the way we mo ..read more

By Kevin Flood My abuse story started when I was 6 and went on for many years with many perpetrators.   It was organized by my parents and so I was around perpetrators every day.   I dissociated very early and fear was a constant presence.  Fear permeated my every feeling and was the constant in my life for many years, including many years after the abuse stopped.    One of the sad and true facts about sex abuse is that it can seriously disrupt our lives in the same painful way no matter how often the abuse occurred, once or many times.     ..read more