Last month, I borrowed my ex-husband’s car to visit my son, daughter-in-law, and their little guy (read about becoming a grandmother here). As soon as I arrived at the parking garage, the attendant said, “I’m sorry, but the car’s dead.” My ex immediately answered the phone when I called, arranged for a jump, and said, “call me along the way.” He called me while I was driving, “everything okay? Call me when you get there.” Pleased that he was concerned, I thought he was being dramatic. “I fine. I’m will.” But I never got there. The car wouldn’t restart at the rest stop forty-five minutes from m ..read more

It was past midnight, the first hours of the new year, 2020. We celebrated earlier; me, my daughter, and her boyfriend of over a year. We had been nestling in a rental home in the village of Telluride, Colorado, after a week of skiing, dining, and hunkering against the week’s heavy snow. The rest of the family—my son, my daughter-in-law, and my ex-husband—had already left for New York to celebrate the new year back home. The three of us had made homemade pizza, finished a leftover bottle of red wine, and bent over a complicated puzzle we wanted to finish before leaving January 2—me to New York ..read more

When I left the coffee shop with Jonathan, I had reached that moment on the date when I had to make a decision: how would I graciously end this? We had matched on Bumble. We’d both attended Cornell and knew some of the same people. Before we met, we had a hilarious phone conversation. I had looked forward to the date, but when we met, he wasn’t exactly what I expected. He was overwhelmingly big in personality…and underwhelming in stature. He was a former theater kid who said he’d have no problem singing in the middle of the coffee shop for me. ‘Oh God, please don’t,’ I thought, looking across ..read more

“I haven’t met too many women who I want to see again. But you…” he wiggled his stubby little forefinger across the white cafe table…”you are special.” It could have been a Crossing Delancey moment, except he was not the charming Pickle Man, and I was no Amy Irving.  While I do lust after Amy Irving’s curls and that fabulous cowboy hat, he was my exceedingly schleppy Match.com date and I was me.   “You are a nice guy but I’m not sure there is a fit here for us,” I said with unusual bravado. My usual MO would have been to vaguely arrange a date and then break it off in a text, but I w ..read more

Recently, a client said to me, “I’m over 50. I wasn’t that good at dating before COVID. Now, I’ve become so isolated, I’m not sure I know how to talk to people, make friends or be social. In some ways, the pandemic served my need to disappear into myself and not make an effort to reach out. But in other ways, I’m worse. I’ve lost touch with the few friends I did have; the slim opportunities to meet someone that existed before lockdown. I think being my age, plus being alone for this long, complicates my ever finding love and a partner.” I think we can all relate to many parts of what this pers ..read more

We had a romantic start: museum dates, rooftop bars, cozy corners in restaurants, two snowed-in weekdays in March, sexy text banter. We felt like we were in a rom-com montage. Those early days were heady with lust, dopamine, serotonin, and oxytocin—a cocktail of feel good hormones. But those early love-floods hid the cracks beneath the surface. The fissures started when his soon-to-be ex-wife discovered our relationship. He had moved out of the house eight months before but she was still hurt by it. She even sent me a long text, calling me names. Our love bubble had burst. On top of that, he w ..read more

I recently discovered a dating coach on social media who put out a challenge — a kind of manifestation. She said, “instead of being discouraged by the stupid shit men do [my words, not verbatim from the dating coach], focus on the behaviors you like, and say to the Universe ‘Yes, please! More of THAT!’” I liked this idea of giving a thumbs-up on what worked instead of kvetching on the negative. Too many times I’ve shaken my head feeling discouraged, frustrated, and sometimes, downright pissy about dating. For example, texting with obtuse men like Michael on dating apps. Michael: How ..read more

According to People.com ….Dating apps are de rigueur for finding potential partners now, but using apps once you’re in a relationship hasn’t been quite as commonplace. Usually, we’d be thrilled about that — more face time, less FaceTime, please — but then came 2020. Dr. Britney Blair, a clinical psychologist and co-founder of sexual wellness app Lover, isn’t surprised by the transition. “Everything is digitized, and especially [during the pandemic] it saves you a trip to the doctor’s office,” says Blair, who adds, “Sex therapy, especially, can be time-consuming and expensive.” Read more on Peo ..read more

Whatever your dating history, there comes a time in every single person’s life where they decide that actually, they’d quite like to be in a committed relationship. Whether you’ve had your fill of awkward silence filled dates or can’t stand the thought of having to tell someone you’re not interested – again! – these are just some of the signs that may be pointing you towards the path of settling down. Wondering what signs to look out for? Here are just a few: 1. Your questions are getting a little more serious You’re no longer asking what their favourite football team is or whether they prefer ..read more

“Did you and your ex have a good sex life?” my therapist asked me, while we were trying to unpack why I stayed in my marriage for as long as I did. “What’s a good sex life?” I asked, genuinely wanting to know. If quantity counted, it didn’t suck. But quality? I wasn’t sure and never thought too deeply about it because I was busy getting through my 30s, 40s and 50s like everyone else. When I met my ex, he was not yet on anti depressants (hell, Prozac really wasn’t even a thing yet) and our libidos were biologically performing as they were designed to do. Enter kids, work, and life and any sex a ..read more