Why is it Common for People to Not Believe Survivors of Sexual Abuse? TLDR: Their brain is protecting them from the life-altering consequences of acknowledging the reality. TLDR = acronym for Too Long Didn’t Read, aka the bottom line.  I believe knowledge is power and that healing requires us to seek knowledge. I am here to share what I have learned over decades of lived experience, studying, and learning from others to offer support for survivors on their path forward to healing.  Why Do Parents Not Believe Their Child? Studies show that parents have a bias towards believing their c ..read more

My daughter was molested by her third-grade teacher. There were numerous times that the teacher was caught acting inappropriately with students and there were many who failed to report. That teacher molested his students for seven years until my daughter and I reported him to the police. Eventually, the teacher went to prison, however, nothing happened to those who failed to report. In my opinion, this puts all children in their care at risk for being abused because if there is no consequence to pay for failing to report then they will continue to not report, and the predator will continue to ..read more

If I had never been abused as a child, I may not have went looking for love in all the wrong places. I may not have married an abusive man (previously). I might have had a healthier sex life. I may not have felt blame and shame for all the times I was sexually harassed or assaulted over the years. According to research, if I had never been abused, I would not have higher risks of heart disease, obesity, and addiction. I would actually have a lifespan of 10-20 years longer. If I had a father present in my life, chances are greater that I would not have been abused. I may have better relationsh ..read more

Back to School: What Kids Really Need Can you guess the number one search on Google right now? Back to school memes, followed by back to school sales. Back to school advice comes in at number eighteen. Even back to school necklace searches ranked higher. What kids really need but is not on the back to school search; what parents should know about back to school, child sexual abuse prevention, not even how to protect children going back to school which I expected to be a high volume search considering all of the school shootings we have had just this year alone. I love to see all of the first ..read more

This story hit the news a few days ago and I have been working on a blog post, which I will share soon. I have been thoroughly investigating the situation. All of the news outlets simply regurgitated information from the DOJ /FBI press release. What I wanted to share for parents to be aware of is that I found on the San Diego Ice Arena website they were posting rosters that included the kids first and last names, the names of their teams and coaches, and the time and day of their practices. These kids are 12-years-old and under. Since I brought it to the attention of one of the player's parent ..read more

I get a lot of calls regarding child sexual abuse. People use terms like child porn - there is no such thing - it is child sexual abuse. Another term used - revenge porn, this is when someone shares nude pictures or videos of someone else without their consent. If it involves minors, it is child sexual abuse. Sextortion of a minor is another form of child sexual abuse. Sextortion is the act of having someone share nude photos, videos, or perform live sexually explicit acts believing they will be kept private and instead they are used to extort money from them or coerce them into further sex a ..read more

Are mandated reporters who fail to report breaking the law? Yes. Does this mean they are committing a crime? Yes. Can they be charged with a crime? Yes. Can they go to prison if convicted? Yes. Can they be fined? Yes. But do they? Rarely! Here’s what the California Child Abuse and Neglect Reporting Act (CANRA) requires: Any mandated reporter who knows or reasonably suspects that the home or institution in which a child resides is unsuitable for the child because of abuse or neglect of the child shall bring the condition to the attention of the agency to which, and at the same time as, he or s ..read more

As a child sexual abuse prevention expert, I follow and share all news stories regarding child sexual abuse claims for a few reasons. First, because there is never only one victim. There are always multiple victims. However, most victims truly believe they are the only one. Predators groom their victims to believe they are in a special relationship when in fact predators have a pattern and leave a trail of victims. Second, I share because this subject matter is not something most people want to talk about or admit exists. It is very common and yet people are always shocked when they hear a sto ..read more

For those of us who work with victims of child sexual abuse, sexual assault, and domestic violence, we knew that being locked at home without resources to turn to, or people to bear witness, would increase the vulnerabilities and opportunities for abuse. We knew that predators in isolation are like wild animals locked in a cage, ready to pounce at the first opportunity. Unfortunately, many rape crisis centers and domestic violence shelters have confirmed our fears by reporting the massive increase in the volume of calls they are getting. I was recently interviewed for this article by the Voic ..read more

The Importance of Maintaining Boundaries Before, During, and After the COVID-19 Corona Virus Outbreak Photo Credit eBay: https://ebay.to/2QeIOYw Boundaries are to protect life, not to limit pleasures - Edwin Louis Cole As a child sexual abuse prevention expert, I have been teaching about personal space and body bubbles for over a decade. I am happy to see that social distancing is now trending and has caught the attention of people around the world. My hope is that after this COVID-19 corona virus pandemic subsides, that we can maintain some of the good social habits we were forced to learn s ..read more