Last month we talked about how couples counseling can be useful for spouses considering divorce. But what if you have already decided to divorce, and you feel overwhelmed? Should you find an individual therapist? Or could another kind of professional be more useful? While many attorneys are good listeners, attorneys do not generally have the right kind of training to provide the emotional support that is crucial for so many people going through divorce. Your attorney’s job is to protect your legal rights. But there is another alternative to traditional therapy. Today we are going to talk abou ..read more

January is the month of New Year’s resolutions and a time when many people are looking for ways to renew their lives. For some, a fresh start includes moving forward with a divorce. Some people decide during the year that divorce is inevitable but wait for the close of the holiday season to finally make a move. Others see the writing on the wall after spending extended time together over the holidays. Whatever it is that has convinced you that this is the time, make sure you are truly ready before you file divorce papers. Here are a few steps to take first: Collect Financial Information Many ..read more

Once again, winter is here. The days have grown short, and the nights are cold. While most of us look forward to the light and cheer of the holidays, for those going through a divorce, light and cheer can feel like scarce commodities. Some people find themselves alone for the first time in years. Others have young children at home but struggle with figuring out how to afford the usual gifts and activities. If this sounds like you, remember that you are in the worst of it right now and better days are ahead. Are you tempted to refuse to take part in the holidays at all? Don’t give in! Even if ..read more

Last month we talked about some of the personality traits that can lead to bad behavior in divorce. Divorce mediation can be difficult or impossible when your spouse resorts to tactics like unfairly blaming you for everything, using the kids as pawns, or overwhelming you with extreme emotional reactions. The situation can be even more dire if your spouse is financially dishonest or physically or emotionally abusive. Not all bad behavior results in mediation being unsuccessful, however. In some cases, controlling your own responses or putting appropriate guardrails in place can rescue an other ..read more

If you have read this blog before, you know that as a rule, we strongly encourage divorcing couples to resolve their disputes through mediation. Given our strong support of the process, you may be wondering if we ever think it is not a good idea to engage in mediation. Well, the sad answer is yes. There are cases where one or both spouses show such scary behavior that mediation is not possible. While virtually no one is always on their best behavior during a divorce, if certain negative personality traits take over, it can make things especially difficult. This does not mean that people who d ..read more

In our last post we talked about mediation and what to do with your family home during your divorce. Whatever you decide to do on a temporary basis, however, if you are like most couples who choose mediation, it will not be too long before you need to move on to making a final decision about the home. Options for the Family Home in Divorce The most popular alternatives for what to do with a family home on final judgment of divorce include the following: The parties immediately sell the home and divide the proceeds. One spouse keeps the home and the other immediately receives other marital as ..read more

In our March post, we talked about getting ready to resolve financial issues in divorce mediation. Today we will talk about how mediation can help you decide what to do with the family home while your divorce is pending. When making decisions about the family home, you also need to consider your other assets and debts. In many cases, however, couples need to make arrangements for temporary use of their home before they are ready to address other things. While you are still married, you should decide together how your joint earnings will fund living spaces for each of you. Both spouses remain ..read more

Last month, we talked about what kind of information you need to create a functional parenting plan. Once you and your coparent have considered all the pertinent facts, it is time to build your plan. Many parents find this to be a stressful process. Knowing what to include in your plan can help. A skilled parenting mediator can also be a valuable resource. Ideally, both parents will cooperate in creating a plan that works well for every member of the restructured family. Some parents can do this all on their own. Many, however, need a mediator to help them work out the kinks. Some parents als ..read more

  Last month, we talked about what kind of information you need to resolve financial disagreements in divorce mediation. Today we will look at what kind of information you need to address child custody and parenting issues. To create a good parenting agreement, you and your coparent will need to decide how to divide both physical custody and legal custody. Physical custody governs how much time a child spends with each parent. Legal custody governs each parent’s decision-making authority. Custody decisions can be emotionally challenging. This is especially true if either parent is concer ..read more

In January, we reviewed some of the benefits of mediation for divorce. Last month, we looked at how mediation can fit in with other divorce processes. Continuing with our review of the basics in divorce mediation, today we are going to talk about getting ready. The first steps to take in preparing for divorce mediation are generally the same as the first steps you would take to get ready for divorce regardless of which process you plan to choose. Identify Your Issues Before you meet with your mediator for the first time, make a list of the issues in your case. These will generally fall into a ..read more