The empty boat trailer at the top of our driveway was clearly a huge temptation to the boy walking down the gravel road.  He was a big kid, but his mannerisms drew my attention immediately.  It looked like he was on a walk with a caregiver (most likely his dad), checking out the views of the surrounding lake, pine trees, and the occasional osprey.  He veered off the side of the road and climbed right on the empty frame.  It was bouncy and oddly shaped, so of course it was fun to play on.  The man who was looking after him noticed us watching from the cabin and he seeme ..read more

Christmas break with special needs kids should not be considered a vacation.  Sure, it’s a holiday that everyone loves, but it’s not a “break” for special needs parents or siblings.  It can consist of some or all of the following: stress, exhaustion, guilt, depression, disappointment, loneliness, isolation, and frustration.  Of course it can also be a surprisingly wonderful time to spend with family, but it’s never perfect.  And imperfection is OK.  I’ve reached this conclusion out of necessity, but regardless of how I got here, I’m here.     Christmas ..read more

I’d like to pose a bold question with a simple answer:  Can we fully love our special needs children even when we can’t tell if they love us back?   Yes. (and by the way, they do love us back)   Perhaps that was an obvious answer to what could have felt like an insensitive question.  Obviously, I love all my children.  I don’t have favorites and while my special needs child often needs more care and attention, my love for him is immeasurable.  In return, my kids tell me they love me and give me hugs and gifts and homemade cards on Mother’s Day and even on ave ..read more

You are an expert on weird things by necessity.  A random smattering of examples includes:  expertise in distinguishing between poop and chocolate, what kinds of food, toys, electronic devices and clothes to pack in your car when you go anywhere, how to entertain your child in the dr’s office when you forget to pack said items, what types of seat belt locks actually work to keep an angry child in his seat in the car, and along those lines, what types of locks work on door knobs to keep a curious child from escaping homes or yards. I have friends who have become experts in more seriou ..read more

We pulled up to the elementary school dressed for success with our outline typed up and tucked safely in a manila folder.  The rest of our team was already seated and making nervous small talk as we were buzzed into the office.  Our team consisted of John’s BCBA and an educational advocate that we had hired to lead us into war.  The nervous butterflies I was experiencing morphed into giant moths as we were led into the board room.  The board room usually evoked this type of emotion from me, but today was different.  Today there were at least 8 opponents seated at the t ..read more

My son Sam plays the piano.  Actually, I would say he’s a legit pianist.  He doesn’t like public attention so you would never know unless you heard him practicing in our home (which means all our coworkers have now heard him practice during Zoom calls – fortunately they seem to enjoy it).  One of the benefits of being stuck at home all the time is the musical talent you can develop through hours of practice.  (You’re welcome, Sam!)  Usually, he plays difficult pieces with typical 3/4 or 4/4 time signatures.  The time signatures on his t-shirt are what he calls “ir ..read more

A beautiful poem by a great friend of ours and fellow parent of a son with autism.  Our John shares a van to school with their son, and it’s been a huge boost for us to get to know them and become friends over the past few years.  It’s be surprisingly therapeutic to have a few moments to chat with others in a similar situation and hear them talk about sleepless nights and other struggles that mirror our own.  May Sara’s poem provide you some strength and comfort in knowing that we, the parents of special needs children are never alone.        We, The Parents ..read more