I Am Encouraged, Empowered, and Hopeful About My Future I Am Encouraged, Empowered, and Hopeful About My Future I was severely triggered in August 2021 due to some horrible family events. After many years of work, I was again in desperate need of peace of mind and sleep. I used my story of trauma and nightmares on stage to encourage others and be a light emerging from the darkness of sexual abuse and four suicide attempts. I was determined to help others arise from the horrible grips of abuse, depression, and trauma. The thought of being forced to face this heinous past again was unb ..read more

The Sacrificial Lamb The Sacrificial Lamb I began writing this poem a few months before attending the Saprea Retreat. I’d hit a block and had been stuck for weeks. Just days after returning from retreat, I completed the poem. Saprea changed my life. I’ll forever be grateful. The Sacrificial Lamb I once was a little lamb, Whose hair was dark as night; My parents forced the church on me and Told me “Do what’s right” Don’t fear my precious little lamb For God is love and light He knows your heart and hears your prayers He’ll always hold you tight With tear-stained cheeks, I bow my head ..read more

Boy in the Window Boy in the Window I was born in a beautiful little town in Belfast, Northern Ireland. The first nine years of my life were wonderful. However, in 1967, my childhood was abruptly ruined by my best friend’s older brother. Often, when I would go to play at my best friend’s house, his older brother would be home hiding in the shadows waiting for his opportunity to abuse me. I remember being there and hearing the sound of a door locking and knowing I was in trouble. I would get this sinking feeling in my gut, knowing what was in store for me. Experiencing abuse from him ..read more

The Dried-Up Well I Was Stuck In The Dried-Up Well I Was Stuck In Saprea has Empowered Me to Look Back at the Dried-Up Well I was Stuck in and Never Go Back. My parents divorced when I was 6 years old which caused some tension in my life, not that it was an ugly divorce but as most kids of divorced parents would say, I felt like my family was torn apart. I felt alone until my tennis coach became a part of my second family. When he was hired to work at the tennis center my mom owned, I became closer to him than the other employees. He was the one person I felt actually wanted to be a ..read more

Just Listen Just Listen For decades, I have lived with the memory of my childhood sexual abuse. As a child, I remained silent, because I was told that if I said a single word to anyone, my family would be hurt. When I finally found the strength to speak, I was the one left hurting. I broke my silence, yet no one believed me. Instead of justice being brought to my abuser, speaking out caused me to lose loved ones. This rejection and abandonment made me feel hopeless. The abuse and my loved ones’ denial of the abuse created deep scars. I grew up seeing myself as unworthy of love and de ..read more

I'm a Survivor, I am a Thriver! I'm a Survivor, I am a Thriver! In 2018, I was called in as a model for Saprea. I didn’t know anything about the company, but it didn’t take long for me to learn of the incredible mission they had. As a survivor myself, I was pulled in to know more. I shared my story with a staff member and then asked to know more about the Saprea Retreat. After learning about it, I knew at that moment there was no question about where and what I wanted to be and do next. I took the next step and signed up for the Saprea Retreat. At the retreat, I came to know many mor ..read more

Intimacy Issues After Sexual Abuse written by Saprea.org Movies are not real. We view cinematic car chases filled with explosions and near misses as pure entertainment, not something we expect might happen on our drive home from the theater. But that understanding of reality often changes regarding sex. Sexual intimacy in the media is portrayed as fireworks, passion, where everyone experiences life-altering pleasure every time, regardless of what has happened in their past. This depiction is just as fictional as the epic car chase, yet society tends to categorize it as the norm. In turn ..read more

Online Sexual Harassment written by Breeann Allison Ava can’t believe that out of all the other girls at school, Drew wants to date her, a pimply faced seventh grader whose had a crush on him since their first game of freeze tag. Ava has never had a boyfriend before, so when Drew sends her a nude photo of himself and asks for one in return, she laughs it off and sends a suggestive emoji instead. But when Drew starts teasing that she’s “too uptight” and not as fun as other girls he’s dated, Ava finally gives in and sends the photo. It doesn’t feel right, but she doesn’t want Drew to dump ..read more

Protecting LGBTQ+ Youth from Sexual Abuse written by Saprea.org Sexual abuse affects people from all walks of life, including people of every religion, race, socioeconomic status, and gender. But while there is risk to any child, there are certain populations and demographics that are at higher risk of sexual abuse; one of those groups is children who belong to the LGBTQ+ community. Percentages and Statistics of Sexual Abuse Among Queer Youth Statistically, 1 in 5 children in the US will experience sexual abuse before reaching adulthood. But in a 2011 study, LGBTQ+ youth were nearly fo ..read more

Sexual Abuse in Athletics written by Saprea.org Power Dynamics in Sports Last year I sat down with my husband to watch the documentary Athlete A, which focuses on the gymnasts who survived the abuse perpetrated by USA Gymnastics doctor Larry Nassar. As we watched, my husband who had not grown up in sports, questioned how these young athletes felt they couldn’t report the sexual abuse. “Why didn’t they just say something?” he asked. His question made me take a step back and think about my own athletic career. As a former member of a national team training for an Olympic dream, I sat there ..read more