Most people don’t aspire to have an unhappy Christian marriage. People don’t get married to be miserable. No one gets married thinking, “I want a 5.8-foot child to take care of for the rest of my life.” “I want to be yelled at and put down and disrespected till forever.” “I want to married to... The post Married and Miserable – It Was Not The Christian Dream appeared first on Intentional Today ..read more

My husband and I were recently watching a video highlighting the first all-female crew in Kenyan aviation. Many parts of the world have had their first all-female-crew moment and it was great seeing our country in the hub. Our conversation looped around the brilliance and hard work we’d just witnessed. It wasn’t long before we... The post 15 Things Women Need to Know About Marriage appeared first on Intentional Today ..read more

“Let’s stop shaming single moms.” Recently, I was in a conversation about women and motherhood. We ended up talking about how more children are brought up in single-mother households vs. single-father homes and how society, in general, treats single mothers.   Later, I came across an update by Abi Akinola about single moms. Abi has guest-posted... The post Can We Stop Shaming Single Moms? appeared first on Intentional Today ..read more

Is it that Christian wives resist submission in marriage, or is the truth more along the lines of they don’t want to be the only ones submitting? A few months ago, one of my readers sent me a video by a popular Kenyan marriage teacher. In the video, the man makes several claims, some of... The post 11 Reasons Why Wives Resist Submission in Marriage appeared first on Intentional Today ..read more

Last week on Facebook, I wrote about how “change” without lasting fruit isn’t really change. I suggested those impacted by hurtful behavior shouldn’t be asked to settle for “change” that is not accompanied by real-life transformation of character that shows up in daily interactions. Many evangelical and other conservative faith spaces elevate a “love” that... The post Why Change Without Lasting Fruit Shouldn’t Be Acceptable in Marriage (The Truth Hurting Spouses Deserve to Know) appeared first on Intentional Today ..read more

“Not all churches.” Every so often, after reading my writings about marital and religious harm, someone will decide to let everybody know that what they just read does not apply to every situation. I am okay with fine distinction. But where there’s a history of minimizing, deflecting, and blame-shifting whenever harm is called out, we... The post Why “Not All Churches” is a Problematic Response to Religious and Marriage Harm appeared first on Intentional Today ..read more

Did Bathsheba’s life matter? This past Sunday, on my Facebook page, I shared a quote from Diane Langberg’s book, Redeeming Power: Understanding Authority and Abuse in the Church. The quote read, “King David was Bathsheba’s Harvey Weinstein.”  In the caption, I added, “Somewhere in a church today, there’s a sermon about David and Bathsheba, and... The post Did Bathsheba’s Life Matter? 8 Thoughts appeared first on Intentional Today ..read more

What does it mean to be intentional in your marriage? He said I was a snob. We were on our first date. Well, “two church friends chatting over tea and fries” as our missionary fundamentalist church didn’t allow dating. The friendship didn’t last, but the idea that to be clear-eyed = snobbish did. And although... The post What Does It Mean To Be Intentional In Your Marriage? (Clarity For Wives) appeared first on Intentional Today ..read more

What if my husband doesn’t know he’s hurting me? “Some men grow up in dysfunction. Their inner world is so up-side down they don’t know how “healthy” looks like. What if my husband is just repeating behavior he witnessed growing up? What if he doesn’t know? I have seen women in hurting marriages struggling with... The post What If My Husband Doesn’t Know He’s Hurting Me? appeared first on Intentional Today ..read more

Recently, on Facebook, I shared my experience with wife-only submission and why my husband and I changed our minds. I used to believe in women-only submission, and I thought it was a universal Christian practice that women submit to their husbands. In our marriage, though, my husband and I practiced partnership. While chatting/supporting other couples,... The post 15 Reasons Why Women Stop Believing in Wife-Only Submission appeared first on Intentional Today ..read more