Our founding board member, Dr. Robert Enright, has been busy with media interviews on forgiveness over the past months. Here is a listing of his interviews since December, 2023, starting with the most recent: Live interview, The Drew Mariani Show (national), Relevant Radio, on the topic of betrayal, forgiveness, and self-forgiveness, March 27, 2024.   Interview with Darcy Sterling, “We Need to Talk” podcast, March 15, 2024. Dr. Robert Enright   Interview with Julie Cruz, Well Wisconsin Radio Broadcast, March 13, 2024.   Interview with Laura Hearn, Flip It podcast, London, Unit ..read more

On April 2, 2024, Dr. Enright appeared on a one-hour podcast on YouTube, We Need to Talk with Dr. Darcy Sterling. Dr. Sterling is a New York City-based relationship therapist and host of E! Network’s Famously Single, who specializes in working with high-performance women who want to prioritize love and relationships. Sterling describes her forgiveness journey that led her to interview Dr. Enright as follows on the YouTube video description: “Years ago, I was gutted by a falling out with one of my siblings. It quickly became clear that we were on the verge of estrangement, and that impending lo ..read more

You can gently let people know that to forgive on its highest level is to love others, including those who behave badly. By “love” I mean agape or the kind of love that is in service to others, even when it is painful to do so. Forgiving can open people’s minds and hearts to this kind of love.  Forgiving can open people’s minds and hearts to others’ suffering in this world so that forgivers now have the opportunity to reach out a helping hand as an important part of their lives ..read more

We have to continue to realize that forgiveness is each person’s choice, through free will, to forgive or to wait for a while or to not forgive. We need to respect people regarding where they are on the forgiveness journey. We need to let each person be drawn to the beauty of forgiveness rather than dragged into it ..read more

Yes, the process of forgiveness does require suffering when the injustice is deep. For example, you will need to struggle to see the humanity in the one who was unfair to you. This can be painful as you see, in your mind, the one who hurt you. As you forgive, you will be asked to “bear the pain”—to stand up to the pain—so that you do not toss that pain back to the offending person or to innocent and unsuspecting other people.  Yet, as you bear this pain, the paradox is that it begins to lift. The bottom line is this: The pain suffered on the forgiveness journey is temporary. The pain suff ..read more

Many people, when treated extremely unfairly, can have some pain, such as residual anger, that stays with them. Yet, the inner unrest, the inner anger, no longer is intense.  As one person said to me,”My anger used to control me, but now I am in control of my anger.” Continuing to forgive, even for years, is not unreasonable when treated cruelly.  Yet, the forgiveness process becomes easier and takes less time as you continue to practice this moral virtue ..read more

We do not know the person’s motivation here. The person might not have received the email or intended to respond and got busy. Given that it has been a year since you sent the email, I recommend that you try again, gently, with no pressure on the person to respond or to accept your request to be forgiven. If the person does not reply, you can go in peace because you have done the best that you are able to do right now and you have had the best of intentions for this person ..read more

This question demonstrates a remarkable level of understanding. As humans, we are prone to being initially excited about starting a new diet, or a new workout regimen, or any other discipline, only to lose interest after a few weeks. It might not require a lot of willpower to forgive one person because the forgiver is concentrated, engaged in something new (and new things tend to capture our attention when they are useful), and are helpful to the one who forgives. Yet, what about the third, fourth, or tenth time someone tries to forgive others? This is where we need what I refer to in the book ..read more

Corrie Ten Boom survived a concentration camp during World War II. She wrote a book, The Hiding Place, about her experiences. Following the war, she was in a German church talking about the virtues of forgiveness. After the talk, people came up to greet her. Much to her horror, the SS officer who abused her years ago extended his hand to her, asking for forgiveness. She did not want to grant it. She then said a quick prayer and, as she reports, she felt something like an electrical surge go through her right arm and so she was able both to shake his hand and at the same time to offer a love fo ..read more

I want to politely challenge an assumption you hold. You are still in the process of forgiving even if you have changed your mind and decided not to forgive at this time. Occasionally, the process compels us to take much-needed pauses. It takes work to forgive, so please take a break when you need it and try not to feel a sense of guilt in doing this. Consider it in this manner. Let’s say you are embarking on a multi-day cross-country bicycle journey. Have you stopped being on the voyage after the first day, when you put your bicycle away and head to bed? Naturally, the response is no—you have ..read more