So, I’ve decided to do it. I’m not an expat here yet but I’m hoping it’s only a matter of time Would love it if you all hopped on over to take a look at the latest blog post – https://expateyeonfrance.blogspot.com/2024/04/french-plumbing-quelle-horreur.html – the blog layout, etc. is still very much a work in progress, much like French plumbing so please bear with me And thank you all so much for being with me on the Expat Eye on Germany ride – here’s to many more adventures and laughs together ..read more

With the forecast for last Friday being sunshine and 28 degrees, I decided to do what any professional, career-driven woman would do – take the afternoon off and go to the park. This seemed like something the French would approve of. Given my (albeit limited) understanding of French people so far, working does not seem to be something that’s high on their list of priorities. However, from what I can tell, walking around – generally looking fabulous – and sitting around, eating and drinking, are things that they are very much on board with. French people sitting around eating and drinkingFrench ..read more

Temporarily anyway*. The company I work at in Berlin (for now) offers the nice perk of being able to work from another country for one month out of every six – and so I chose France, Bordeaux to be specific. I’m on holiday here for one week and then working from here for all of April. If you’re asking, “Why France?”, the answer is: it’s France. Having planned everything meticulously, the night before I was due to fly, I got a message saying that my flight to Amsterdam had been cancelled and I would now be flying through Zurich, two hours earlier than the original flight. Sigh. Still, despite b ..read more

Later that evening, it was time to brave the death stairs and head out in search of food. It’s hard to say whether Görlitz looks prettier by day or by night. One thing I did notice was that it was eerily empty at 8 p.m. In Berlin, people would just be getting up around then; in Görlitz, I feared people had already gone to bed for the night. Still, I did manage to find a nice-looking restaurant and, as I was pretty much in Poland, ordered the bigos – a Polish stew consisting of Sauerkraut and mystery meat… Naturally, by the time I’d finished, I was the only person left in the restaurant. As I ..read more

“This weekend, I am off to The Hollywood of Germany!” I announce with dramatic flair and jazz hands. German 1: “What is that?” … “This weekend, I am off to The Hollywood of Germany!” I announce with slightly less dramatic flair and subdued jazz hands. German 2: “Where?” … “This weekend, I’m off to The Hollywood of Germany. You’ve probably never heard of it.” German 3: “Oh, you mean Babelsberg?” “NEIN, Babelsberg is a film studio. Görlitz is The Hollywood of Germany!” The jazz hands are back. “Why the fuck are you going to Dunkeldeutschland?” “Because it’s The H… sod it. I give up.” Dunkeldeuts ..read more

As part of my bid to become German in 473,937,493 easy steps, one step really should be, you know, becoming an actual German. As I’ll have been in Berlin for 8 years in September, the requirement for getting citizenship, this is my plan for the end of the year. I just have to pass a naturalisation test – there are 310 possible questions with 33 on the test, of which, I have to get 17 correct (God knows who chose those numbers) – and demonstrate adequate German skills. As my German is good enough, but not good enough for me, I decided I wanted to improve before I take the test and, the best way ..read more

This morning, I had an (of course) online lesson with a group of students who work at a pan-European company. The Spanish and the Italians didn’t show up – 8 a.m. isn’t exactly my finest hour either so I can’t say I really blame them – so I was faced with eight Germans, one Dutch guy and a French girl. It’s a start-up so they all look like foetuses and have Very Important Sounding Management Titles in teams that, to my 44-year-old ears, have no business existing. Champions Team. Onboarding Manager. Conceptionist… No, just no. Anyway, we’d been studying the present simple and present continuous ..read more

You might think that a night out in Herring Village would be, well, crap, but that’s only because you’ve never been out in Herring Village with me. Over some delicious goulash and wine in the Usedomer Brauhaus, I got chatting to the delightful Waltraut* after making a hilarious quip about probably holidaying in the wrong place since I don’t like herring, or any fish for that matter. We bonded over my knowledge of Ostfriesisch – and, by that I mean, the fact that I had heard of Ostfriesisch, not that I actually knew any. She didn’t either and she’d been living there for close to two decades. Un ..read more

You might assume, as I did, that not many people would be crazy enough to want to travel to an island in the Baltic Sea at the start of November. You’d think I’d have learned over the last seven years never to underestimate Germans in Jack Wolfskin. And so it was that I found myself on a train to Heringsdorf on the island of Usedom, curled up on the floor outside a toilet. The Germans, as with the sun loungers in Mallorca, had reserved every seat on the train. Happy travels. An old lady who passed by (probably on the way to her comfortable, reserved seat) asked me if I wasn’t afraid. I said no ..read more

With work dwindling and an ever-sketchier internet connection, I’ve had to resort to new ways of keeping myself entertained. None of these, obviously, involve cleaning my flat – or learning to bake or crochet. My initial attempts to be at my laptop by 10 a.m. every morning have largely fallen by the wayside – mainly because there’s no need for me to be at my laptop by 10 a.m. every morning. Being up at 10 just leaves me with around 10 hours to fill until I can start drinking wine with a relatively clear conscience. Showering and getting dressed can kill half an hour but, some days, that’s also ..read more