
Dumb Runner
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Dumb Runner is an online destination for runners who enjoy laughter and pie. Here you will find odd and amusing news, Monty Python references, beginner-friendly advice, and answers to your most pressing questions.
Dumb Runner
2y ago
Depositphotos.com
Friends, I am sure I don’t have to tell you this, but there is a jump rope craze sweeping the nation. In bold! I can say, without a trace of hyperbole, that this is, by far, the biggest craze to sweep any nation, ever. Bigger even than the Baby Fish Mouth craze of 1989.
Seriously, though, jumping rope is all anyone is talking about. If you don’t believe me, perhaps you’ll believe CNN:
What’s behind this craze? Is there a hashtag associated with it? And, most urgent of all, should you join? To answer these questions and more, we checked in with our go-to expert on ropes, jum ..read more
Dumb Runner
2y ago
Depositphotos.com
For decades, runners have been applying ice to injured muscles in an effort to speed recovery, despite the fact that doing so is dumb. Now comes a new study suggesting that ice may indeed be useful for injured runners—in one very specific application.
“We have concluded that injured runners can indeed find relief in ice,” said Brian Flanagan, Ph.D., a professor of exercise mixology at the University of Jamaica. “The trick—and this is counterintuitive—is to bypass the site of the injury and to combine the ice, in cube form, with a couple of ounces of whiskey.”
The resulting m ..read more
Dumb Runner
2y ago
Background Photo by @cottonbro/Pexels
A local man trying to buy a pair of 1-inch split shorts today faced an unexpected hurdle, Dumb Runner has learned—the very retailer offering the product for sale.
Tom Austin, 51, attempted the purchase from his home, where he’d been browsing running gear at SwiftSoles.com, an online running store. Sources said he had successfully added a long-sleeved technical top and three pairs of socks to his shopping cart when he selected a pair of “short shorts” in size large, clicked the ADD TO CART button, and hit the roadblock.
“Are you sure about this?” read a po ..read more
Dumb Runner
2y ago
Depositphotos.com
A local man who says he “gets a lot of thinking done” on his weekly long runs spends most of that time thinking about waffles, Dumb Runner has learned.
Tom Forkner, 38, said that between his work schedule and an infant daughter at home, he doesn’t get much time to himself—until the weekend rolls around. That’s when the attorney and eight-time marathoner will log up to 20 miles, usually alone and on quiet roads or trails.
“That’s my ‘me time,’” Forkner said. “Just two or three hours, uninterrupted, to ruminate and reflect. I get a lot of thinking done on my long runs.”
“Mostl ..read more
Dumb Runner
2y ago
Depositphotos.com
A local runner is grinning while he still can, a source told Dumb Runner, before an intense speed workout “wipes that stupid smile off his face.”
The runner, Arthur Fleck, 28, reportedly is training for a half-marathon. Today’s workout, the source said, calls for a one-mile warmup followed by 12 400-meter repeats and a one-mile cooldown. Fleck will aim to run each 400-meter repeat in 85 seconds.
“He won’t be smiling much longer,” the source said of Fleck, who had just completed his warmup and was preparing to begin his first of the 12 repeats. “Poor bastard.”
Experts agreed ..read more
Dumb Runner
2y ago
Depositphotos/Photo Illustration
A group of tourists Sunday blundered onto the finish line of the New York City Marathon, authorities said, pausing four abreast to study a map and oblivious to what was happening around them.
“We’re still not sure how they accessed the finish line area,” Norman Mailer, a spokesman for the New York Road Runners, the group that organizes the marathon, told Dumb Runner. “But they did, and they caused signifiant annoyance for marathon finishers who had to get around them.”
The tourists, a family of four reportedly visiting from Ohio, appeared to be searching for t ..read more