As a bereaved person, how we talk about the death of a pet, and how other people speak to us, can have a major impact on whether we feel supported or even able to express our grief.  Despite its universal nature, there doesn’t seem to be an agreed language of loss. It’s wrapped up in euphemisms, metaphors, analogies, symbolism, agreed social and cultural messages, and our own experiences.   This can make conversations about loss extremely hard to navigate. Sometimes, words may fail us altogether.  People often don’t know what to say to a bereaved person for fear of saying t ..read more

Losing a beloved pet is an incredibly difficult experience, whatever the circumstances, but how do you come to terms with the belief that you waited too long to say goodbye? People often talk about their worries around euthanasia, but it’s generally in the context of wondering if it’s the right thing to do or whether they’ll make the decision too soon. A common saying, “Better a week too early than a day too late”, provides reassurance about this. But what about those of us who feel we were too late – be it a minute, an hour, a day, a week or longer? How do we come to terms with our feelings o ..read more

If you’re new to The Ralph Site, first let us say that we’re so sorry for the loss that has brought you here. We hope you find comfort and support within these pages and from our wider community. Today’s blog is about the different types of grief and why it can be helpful to recognise them. Isn’t grief simply grief, you might be asking? How can there be different types? Why does the type of grief matter? Is pet loss grief different from other forms of grief? Is there a right way to grieve? These are all common questions. Yes, when all things are said and done, grief is simply grief. It’s a col ..read more

How long does pet loss grief last? If you’ve experienced a bereavement, you may be asking yourself this question a lot, wanting to know that there is light at the end of the tunnel.  This question has no straightforward answer because grief is, in many ways, an everlasting presence in our lives. Why? Because it’s a manifestation of love, and if love can never truly die, then neither can grief.  We can reassure you though that pet loss grief eventually becomes manageable.  It changes, ebbs and flows, and sometimes it’s more intense than at other times. But, with time, you will be ..read more

If you’ve recently lost a pet or are facing an imminent loss, you probably recognise that grief can be all-consuming and isolating in its nature. In many ways, this is because we all experience and express grief differently, which can make it hard to connect with people who are outside of that experience. Pet loss is often described as a disenfranchised grief because our wider society doesn’t always recognise its impact. There may be people in your circle who have never shared their lives with an animal companion or who have but didn’t have the same connection, and therefore struggle to unders ..read more

Were you unable to say goodbye to your pet before they passed?  Sadly, many pet carers end up in a situation where their pet passes away at home or outside without them, goes missing, or dies at the vets. The latter can be due to complications before, during or after surgery, for example, or because the vet’s investigations have unexpectedly revealed a serious health condition.  Death without closure We, humans, like to have closure. We tend to see things in a linear way, understanding that life has a beginning, a middle, and an end. Before we experience a bereavement for the first t ..read more

Pet loss grief affects all of us differently, but alternative grief therapies can help you to cope, especially if you’re finding it hard to get support from your friends and family or you feel you need an extra level of support. “Successful” mourning Research suggests that we can achieve what’s known as “successful mourning”, which is when we navigate our way through grief into a state of mind where we’re able to “imagine a satisfying future” without our loved one, if we have a good support network and healthy coping mechanisms. Although it seems uncomfortable to think of mourning in terms of ..read more

If you’ve experienced the loss of multiple pets within a relatively brief period, you may be feeling overwhelmed.  It’s a surprisingly common scenario because many people have pets who are siblings or similar ages because of the companionship they provide to each other throughout their lives. Sadly, this means the pets reach old age together.  Accidents and even unrelated events and coincidences can also take our animal companions from us in one fell swoop or one after the other.  Dealing with multiple pet losses in quick succession is often confusing and distressing. You may fe ..read more

Are you living with pet loss grief and finding it a struggle?  We’re sorry for your loss. Any kind of grief can be disorientating, exhausting and overwhelming, but pet loss grief carries its own unique challenges.  If you’re finding it hard to navigate everyday life right now, do know that this is a normal grief response. You’ve experienced a major loss and you need time to adjust. The most important thing you can do is to be patient and kind to yourself as you process your bereavement. Sit with your feelings when they come, ringfence time – if you must – when you’re able to be prese ..read more

Before we experience grief first-hand, most of us imagine it to be dominated by sadness. One thing we don’t imagine is that we may feel relief, which is why it can be such a shock – and source of shame – when we do. Grief isn’t predictable People often refer to the five stages of grief (denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance) as a blueprint for loss. “Oh, you’re in the denial phase,” someone will say, nodding sagely, and perpetuating the myth that grief can be nicely wrapped up with a clear end phase.  What people generally don’t realise is that in her book, On Death and Dyi ..read more