Before I begin, I want to ask you to keep this in your mind as you read this blog article. “What comes to mind when you see or hear the words ‘Parents’ or ‘Teachers’?” What would your response have been when you were child/youth? How would you hope your children, future children, nieces, nephews, students, clients etc. respond to if they were asked the question? Recently, I have been embarking on the slow and tedious journey of unearthing, reviewing, scanning, saving, and organizing all of the records and documents that detail my childhood and my deepest thoughts during those 18 years of lived ..read more

There are many ways that adoption trauma surfaces at different times throughout an adoptee’s childhood and lifespan. There are no continuing training requirements and the lack of adequate and quality training for adoptive parents’ preadoption finalization can lead to very dangerous outcomes for children and youth who have been adopted.  One category of abuse has very rarely been heard by the broader adoption society, Spiritual Trauma and Abuse. This is not to say that people and more specifically, Adult Adoptees, have not spoken out about their experiences with it. On the contrary, many a ..read more

I find myself reflecting on the year as 2021 is quickly coming to a close. This year was filled with many hard things. Many things that spiraled out of my control and brought up a lot of hard things to reprocess as an adoptee. The word Control keeps coming to the forefront of my mind as contemplated how I wanted to write this excerpt ending a year of many things in order to embrace a new year of excitement, new growth and new experiences. Control and all that it encompasses; the lack of it, the fight for it, the pain of embracing it or letting it go, everything about it. That is a feeling and ..read more

I remember pulling into the parking lot. Feelings of abandonment, unworthiness, rejection, and fear surged through my body and mind. Before coming to the residential treatment facility, I was housed in an inpatient hospital. Not because I fit the requirements (because I did not) but because my parents refused to let me back in their home. I never quite fit in the family that was chosen for me on paper. I never quite fell into line the way that I was supposed to or expected to. My memory is very spotty and unpredictable when it comes to this time in my life. My body does a good job at protectin ..read more