So Here It Is, ‘Merry Christmas’ Everybody’s Having Fun?
The Dads' Fire Circle Blog
by The Additional Needs Blogfather
3M ago
This time of year, it’s hard to escape from the deluge of Christmas tunes; whether it’s on the radio, in shops, in TV adverts, the same old songs are everywhere. Probably the most recognisable is that 1970’s classic from Slade, ‘Merry Xmas Everybody’… Hearing it again for the millionth time today, the chorus of the song broke through to me and I heard the familiar words in a different way; I heard them as a parent of a child with special needs. “So here it is merry Christmas Everybody’s having fun Look to the future now It’s only just begun” I shuddered. It evoked a physical reaction in me ..read more
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Just Keep Swimming…
The Dads' Fire Circle Blog
by The Additional Needs Blogfather
1y ago
Can you swim? When did you learn? Were you inspired by watching one of the Olympic greats winning a clutch of medals at an Olympic Games, maybe smashing a World Record or two on the way? Adam Peaty celebrating a win When you started to swim, taking those first, tentative steps into the water, could you immediately swim like Adam Peaty? Of course not, it took them many years and loads of practice to get that good. But did you, after your first few swimming lessons, realising that you weren’t going to be picked for the Team GB Olympic swimming team just yet, give up? Did you let the fact that yo ..read more
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The Neurodiverse Coke Can
The Dads' Fire Circle Blog
by The Additional Needs Blogfather
1y ago
There is a great analogy that helps to explain why neurodiverse children (e.g. who are Autistic, or have ADHD) are perceived to be able to ‘cope’ and be ‘fine’ at school, but can become overwhelmed by the time they get home. There are so many stories about children who appear to be totally different in these two settings; the coke can analogy helps us understand why… Here’s Jack’s story: Tired Jack was up late last night, he wanted to play Fortnite with his friends and it inevitably ran on past bedtime. All that screen time made it hard for him to get to sleep, so when he was woken up to get ..read more
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Fathers’ Day – The Dads Collection!
The Dads' Fire Circle Blog
by The Additional Needs Blogfather
1y ago
On Sunday 19th June it is Fathers’ Day. A day which will be celebrated by some, mourned by others, a day of mixed emotions for more. Writing as ‘The Additional Needs Blogfather’, and as Founder of ‘The Dads’ Fire Circle’, Dads of children and young people with additional needs and disabilities have always been close to my heart, whether they are in the family home, apart but connected, or distanced. I’m one myself, as Dad to James who is Autistic, and also has a range of additional needs. Over the years I’ve created content that, while hopefully helpful and interesting to anyone who is involv ..read more
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Busting Ten Autism Myths
The Dads' Fire Circle Blog
by The Additional Needs Blogfather
2y ago
Busting Ten Autism Myths There are an awful lots of Autism myths out there; most are ridiculous, some would actually be quite funny if they weren’t so harmful, but they do seem to somehow persist in the national consciousness. So, here’s my guide to the top ten Autism myths and how we can bust them: “We’re all ‘on the spectrum’ somewhere.” Autism is a neurodiversity, a different way of the brain being wired. You are either Autistic, or not; so no, you can’t be “A little bit Autistic.” “Children can grow out of it.” Autism is a difference hard wired into the brain. It is an integral part of wh ..read more
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Supporting Special Needs Dads
The Dads' Fire Circle Blog
by The Additional Needs Blogfather
2y ago
There’s a rare breed that with some notable exceptions we don’t get to see so much of. A group of people that can often slip off the radar and go unnoticed. A demographic that rarely gets a mention in the chat forums or magazines. Special needs Dads. In my day job I provide training and conference speaking services in the special needs area, and have spoken with literally tens of thousands of special needs parents over the past few years. I would estimate that at least 80% of them have been Mums, probably more. We might be in the 21st Century, but the reality for many families is that women ..read more
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Leaving Lockdown: Learning To Listen To Each Other, Our Children, And Ourselves
The Dads' Fire Circle Blog
by The Additional Needs Blogfather
2y ago
We are surrounded by noise, whether it is the noise of people around us, the constant noise of technology, the noise of kitchen appliances, the noise of cars and trucks, emergency vehicles, planes and trains. There is noise everywhere and perhaps that is one reason why we’ve become less good at listening… listening to each other, listening to our children, listening to ourselves…  Just like it’s harder to hear the sounds of nature around us, the song of a bird or the cry of a fox, it’s harder for us to tune in to other people or our own inner ‘voice’. On top of everything else, over ..read more
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Are You Feeling Exhausted?
The Dads' Fire Circle Blog
by The Additional Needs Blogfather
2y ago
We will soon be at the anniversary of the beginning of the first COVID-19 lockdown, which began with Boris Johnson’s address to the nation on the 23rd March 2020. A year on, and still in the third lockdown, every day seems the same; many of us are feeling a weariness, an overwhelming sense of exhaustion. It seems to be affecting everyone, but I know from first-hand experience how hard it is for families of children with additional needs and disabilities. It has got me thinking a bit about exhaustion over the past couple of days, and so I thought I would share my ‘thinking out loud’ in cas ..read more
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Washing My Autistic Sons’ Feet
The Dads' Fire Circle Blog
by The Additional Needs Blogfather
2y ago
James, my autistic son, gets cold feet. Sometimes this is because he often prefers to go barefoot, sometimes this is because his blood circulation isn’t as good as it might be, or maybe it’s a combination of the two. He likes to have his feet rubbed, to warm them up, but he has also enjoyed having his feet immersed in a bowl of warm soapy water and washed. The sensory feeling of having his feet in the warm water is really enjoyable and having us washing his feet with a flannel tickles and is fun; the floor sometimes gets a wash too, as do we! As I wash James’ feet, there is another thing going ..read more
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12 Days Of Additional Needs Christmas
The Dads' Fire Circle Blog
by The Additional Needs Blogfather
2y ago
Traditionally, the twelve days of Christmas start on Christmas Day and run on until January 6th which is ‘Epiphany’ or ‘Three Kings’ Day, the day that marks the arrival of the three wise men in the nativity story. It’s also usually the day when all the Christmas decorations come down. I thought it would be fun to mark the 12 days of Christmas as dad to an additional/special needs son, thinking about what ‘gifts’ James might bring me… I hope it resonates with you and that you have a happy 12 days of Christmas too. On the First day of Christmas, my additional needs son gave ..read more
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