This morning, when I awakened, I gazed out my window. I saw millions of spiderwebs on the bushes of the house next-door. I wondered how all those spiders could possibly know that it was a good place for them to build their delicate, yet strong, webs. A whole community of spiders and spiderwebs were  there, sparkling in the sunlight. Seeing spiders diligently creating their masterpieces was fascinating. Scurrying on a perfect path, they connected the webs they were weaving with little blobs of sparkling stickiness. The sun was shining just right so that the webs glowed, decorated with wha ..read more

As a child, on Sunday afternoon my parents and I would often go for a ride in the car. We lived in a small farming town where there wasn’t much to do, so these rides were a very special treat. I sat in the back seat gazing out the window at the beauty of nature. The car didn’t have a radio so we would all sing together the same songs every time: A Bicycle Built for Two, California Here I Come, The Old Rugged Cross, and more. I got quite an education from watching flood waters, remnants of fires, a dam being built, fragrant orange blossoms, and miles of fields growing cotton. My favorite was g ..read more

I am always on the lookout for information about happiness, and today I found an article written by psychologist Adam Grant written in Inc. Newsletter. He posits that overall happiness is supported by giving. That concept resonates with me and led to me to think about how I frequently say I am happier now than I ever have been. The biggest difference in my life now is that I focus on generosity, giving in many different ways. For me, it’s not only the generosity, but it’s my new mindset that comes along with it, that results in joy. Much of my life I’ve been trying to prove things about me, a ..read more

When your loved one dies or you are experiencing a big loss of another kind, the biggest thing you will probably deal with is a loss of love. While your love doesn’t go away with a loss, it’s just not the same. Love is the most precious emotion we get to experience so the absence of the experience of being with your loved one can be devastating. You can, however, deal with this loss in a positive way that can support you through your loss. Self-love is essential always, yet this is especially so at stressful times. The good news is that you always have access to the most significant kind of l ..read more

Chances are we won’t know when our last breath occurs. Hopefully it will be at a time of peace when we just go to sleep and not wake up. If this is the case for me, I’ve been wondering if I would have said everything I would want to say before I took that last breath.. Who knows when that’s going to come. It could be any moment, or it could be years down the road. I have relatives that lived long lives, and I’ve had relatives that lived short ones without being able to have any idea when their last moments would be. Because of this, I plan to say what I need to say now. My husband Ron was onl ..read more

Our lives carry millions of memories. These memories can inspire us and amplify all the good in our lives. And the tons of memories  also can weigh us down to the point we can’t easily move forward. Considering these opposite subjects of fear or loss, and happiness or joy, compile a list of each one. Write these lists on separate pieces of paper. Start with the memories that are sad, maybe even tragic. Or the memories that are embarrassing or frightening. They may be of extreme frustration. They may be of loss that seems unbearable. Take your time with this list.  Don’t include thin ..read more

Do you ever get a song stuck in your head and you find yourself singing bits of it all day? That happens to me all the time, and the song for me today is I Dreamed a Dream from the hit musical Les Mis. Here are some of the words: I dreamed a dream in time gone by When hope was high and life worth living I dreamed that love would never die . . . And still I dream he’ll come to me That we would live the years together But there are dreams that cannot be. . .* Jacques and I were 21 years apart so I knew that chances were he would go before me, but after 22 years of marriage, I was lost without h ..read more

My husband Ron often suggested that I moved too fast. That would just irritate me1 and I’d move faster. Why didn’t everyone know I had much to do and so little time? I worked every day and had activities every night. On top of that, I belonged to organizations, sat on boards, worked on Art projects, catered when I could fit it in, and savored the few moments in between to pay attention to my loved ones. Just writing all this down now, I can feel myself tensing up. When Ron admonished me again, I decided to pay attention. What was I doing that no longer served me and I could let go of? That wa ..read more

“Faith is taking the first step even when you can’t see the whole staircase.” –Martin Luther King   Often those dealing with grief have no idea what their future holds which can be crippling. While grief isn’t something you get over, you can learn to move forward in your grief. But how can you do that if you have no idea what moving forward means? When a loved one dies, the people who remain deal with many losses such as: Loss of future goals, like together buying a home, traveling, or retiring Loss of your loved one’s presence at weddings and graduations Loss of the 50th wedding annive ..read more

Break Your Heart Open  I recently ran across the phrase “Break your heart open.” That made me think about how often people who are dealing with grief or loss feel that their heart is tender from their loss. To protect that tenderness, it’s only natural for us to shield our hearts from any possible future loss. The trouble with working so hard to keep your heart safe, the hurt places can form scars. Scars keep getting thicker and harder creating a shield that prevents strong healthy heart beats. Eventually your heart can shut down all together. While I am referring to that simply shaped v ..read more