Time warps in grief. Mourning distorts how we experience and sense the passage of time in grief. It changes the predictability we came to count on, the way we see the past, the present and the future. Within the space of a few hours, life irrevocably shifted when Dan died. I was unmoored from our life rhythms, no longer tied to Dan’s work schedule, his days off, his vacation time. While the outside world continued to hum with its steady progression of hours and days and weeks, the perception of time changed in my grief. Grief distorted time in multiple ways. Some happened early in grief and s ..read more

When life falls apart in unexpected loss, the myth that we’re in control comes crashing down along with so much else. Part of navigating loss is learning what we can and can’t control in grief. Loss brings massive change. When we’re walking through the death of someone we love, an unwanted divorce, a diagnosis, or other major loss, the familiar disappears. The people, routines, plans and expectations we counted on are gone. Never have I felt so untethered as I have in trying to put life back together after loss. When the illusion of control disappears and we realize we can’t control everythin ..read more

When we can’t fix the pain for a friend in fresh grief, we can pray. Only eternity will reveal the incredible impact when we pray for a grieving friend. Prayer changes things. Prayer changes US. Praying for a friend isn’t the least we can; it’s the best we can do. When I found myself suddenly navigating loss I didn’t see coming, I could tell people were praying for us. I could feel their prayer—which is hard to describe unless you’ve ever experienced it. I knew friends were lifting us in prayer because, as brutal as grief was and though I was overwhelmed in every way, I surprisingly slept wel ..read more

I plunked down on the couch with the house finally quiet at the end of another full day. But the silence I once craved, I now dreaded. My alone time had become aching loneliness. A few months earlier, I’d gone to bed happily married and woken up a sudden widow and single mom to our seven children. The days of single parenting were hard enough, but at least they were filled with activities that kept me busy—mornings of homeschool or co-op classes and afternoons with extracurriculars and sports practices. After getting dinner on the table, cleaning up, and bathing the youngest kids, I’d settle ..read more

The pain of grieving becomes magnified at Christmas time. While the rest of the world decks the halls all merry and bright, the holidays are another stinging reminder of the deep loss in grief. I remember facing our first Christmas in fresh grief. I desperately wanted to give my seven children joy. Goodness knows we needed joy. But we also needed comfort and I couldn’t imagine how to pull off a Christmas that would bring sparkle to their eyes without Dan. Grief doesn’t take a holiday. Grief becomes even harder at Christmas when you can no longer fill their stocking, when there’s a gaping hole ..read more

Finding God in grief is as close as opening the pages of scripture. The Bible tells us over and over that God is with us in our sorrow. In a bittersweet paradox after Dan went to heaven, I endured the worst pain I’d ever felt while also experiencing God more intimately than I ever had. But I know from walking with others who are grieving that experience isn’t universal. Friends have said finding God in their grief was difficult. They felt distant from him – though God never abandons us. One way to draw closer to God in grief is through his names. Each name of God reminds us of who he is and h ..read more

God’s names are deeply meaningful in grief. When we’re grieving the death of a loved one or miscarriage, mourning an unwanted divorce or suffering from a devastating diagnosis, the names of God that comfort in grief anchor us to real hope. This is the first in a series of posts on the names of God that comfort in grief. Today, we’ll look at five powerful names of God, their Biblical context and how they help us when we’re grieving. Why are God’s Names Comforting? The names of God, unveiled in scripture from Genesis to Revelation, help us understand God’s nature and his character. See, knowing ..read more

It may be the summer of Tim Keller for me. His death a few weeks ago stirred me to revisit several of his books and put others on my summer reading list. Tim Keller (1950-2023) was the founding pastor of Redeemer Church in Manhattan along with his wife, Kathy, and the best-selling author of multiple books. One of his first books I read was Walking with God Through Pain and Suffering. Ten years after writing this book on suffering, Keller was diagnosed with stage IV pancreatic cancer. Last month, after three years of treatments, Tim Keller entered hospice and just a day later, went to his heav ..read more

The last few weeks have been one big milestone after another for my high school senior — and me. His last high school exam, his final thesis presentation, his last day of high school followed by the graduation ceremony, senior banquet and graduation Sunday at church. Watching my children flourish after loss fills me to the full. Yet I’ve come to see that each major life event holds both celebration and sorrow for us. The end of school is filled with these milestone moments — sports banquets, dance recitals, school plays, church musicals, band concerts and more. Our family will celebrate not o ..read more

There’s a story pop culture likes to tell us. It says, you got this. If you’ll dig down a little deeper, you can drum up the grit to push through. If you just work harder and just get braver, you can do that hard thing. Yeah, you got this, the story goes. Scripture shows us a different story. God’s Word says apart from Jesus, not only do we not have this, we have nothing. “…for apart from me you can do nothing.” (John 15:5) Will God give us too much to handle? Biblical examples of multiple faith giants show God does allow circumstances in our lives that are too much for us to handle. People m ..read more