My milestones have become smaller, but not less important  As I recover from my knee replacements, my milestones have become smaller. Being able to lift my weaker left leg off the bed by itself, walking up the stairs, walking with a cane, standing to brush my teeth and now walking without a cane! These have been wonderful milestones for me.  I have been focused on minute but significant improvements for the last 23 days. Each day has been better than the one before. I am excited about each new thing.  It has made me aware that minute and significant things happen all the time. T ..read more

I am expecting the best! Lately everyone is asking me if I am nervous about my upcoming double knee replacement surgery. I am not. I have done everything I can do to ensure success—the right doctor, the right hospital, the right procedure. I am doing all my exercises and reading everything they send me. I am putting my faith and trust in them and their expertise It’s out of my hands. Yes, I am aware that many things could go wrong, but I would rather focus on what can go right. I will be able to walk and stand without pain. I will be able to walk around the block or New York or Paris and I ..read more

If you've let your connections lapse, summer is a great time to reconnect! Connection—it’s one of the keys to happiness, health and longevity. Yet every survey seems to say we have fewer friends than people did in the past. The latest one I read said that 47% of men do not talk openly to their friends about their problems (63% of women do) and 27% say they don’t have close friends or any friends at all. And it seems to get worse as men age—22% of men over 55 say they never see their friends for catch-up.  Other studies talk about loneliness becoming epidemic for both men and women regar ..read more

You are always greated by a smile here When I stepped off the plane in Costa Rica a few days ago I was reminded of the smiles here. Costa Ricans (or Ticos as they call themselves) have the best smiles. They are big and bold and welcoming. Everyone smiles at you here—the person working on the gardens, the person you pass on the sidewalk, the customs agent, the fishmonger, everyone. And the smiles are genuine. They also always have time for a chat. They are endlessly polite—even when they are saying no. People seem truly happy here. They don’t think of things the way we do. They don’t rush an ..read more

Progress is what counts  We all have things we want to be better at--our job, our relationships, our self care, getting over things, hobbies, life.    Too often we spend time looking at how far below the line we fall--on average we spend 12% of our waking hours comparing ourselves to others, often negatively(that’s about an hour a day!).   This looking at how far you have to go is often daunting, makes us feel frustrated and it's self-defeating.  It is like the kid in the car constantly asking  "Are we there yet?".    It doesn't take into accoun ..read more

This is really true for me  “You are your ancestors’ wildest dreams.” I heard this phrase for the first time recently and it stopped me in my tracks. I couldn't get it out of my head.  I just loved the truth of it. It is really true for me and my siblings. My parents, my grandparents, their parents could not have imagined this life—it would be beyond their wildest dreams. It is all they wanted for us and more. In many ways my life is beyond my wildest dreams. As a young girl, I had many dreams—bigger and brighter than most of my friends and in all probability well beyond the reach ..read more

We can only go forward. Once again the phrase “getting back to normal” is being bandied about. It makes me a little crazy. I am not sure why anyone thinks they can go back. Everything changes moment by moment. There is never any going back there is only forward. And forward is always new.  Anyone who has gone back to their hometown or reunited with an old friend, knows it’s not the same as before—it can be wonderful but it is not the same. My life has changed in many ways over the last couple of years—I’ve learned I love teaching online, but miss the personal contact of being on-site ..read more

Happiness is possible for all of us.  I was recently asked why I thought a friend was so unhappy all the time--despite good things happening in her life--why couldn't she celebrate the wins?  She has had career success, relationship success, she is bright, accomplished and funny; but she is also constantly negative, gloomy and complaining. She is rarely happy.   As I thought about it, I realized she misses the 3 things I talk about that underlie happiness.   She can't rest in gratitude--there is always a dark side for her or another shoe that might drop.   She can't ..read more

Why don't adults get a quiet time? My grandniece has quiet time every day. She spends time alone with herself and her imagination. She colours, plays with her toys, tells herself stories, sometimes she naps but it’s just a time to rest from the demands of the world. Sounds great doesn’t it? I wondered why we give up this essential as adults. You may tell me you haven't had time for quiet time or had too much quiet time in the last 2 years. If it's the former ask yourself it that is really true or if you and those you love would have benefitted from you taking a few minutes "off" each day.&n ..read more

This year focus on what you can give, not what you want to get Most New Year’s resolutions are focused on ourselves. What we want to accomplish, what we need, what we want to do, what we need to fix. I suggest that this year you focus on what you can give. Here are 4 things you can give every day to everyone you meet:  Unconditional love (the gift of compassion, forgiveness, mercy, grace, love) Joy (the gift of fun and laughter) Power (the gift of faith and trust in others) Respect (fulfill the deep desire we all have to be recognized and accepted) Incidentally giving these things to ot ..read more