PARENTING THROUGH SEPARATION AND DIVORCE: A Couple's Therapists Perspective Blog entry by Virginia Sherban, MSW RSW Going through a separation or divorce feels like riding the world’s most unwanted roller coaster, especially when kids are part of the equation. It’s tough, right? You might be wrestling with a mix of disbelief, guilt, sadness, and anger, all while thinking, “Where did we go wrong? Let’s face it, relationships are super challenging, and the idea that marriages are meant to last forever doesn’t always match up with reality. But here’s the thing, even though it’s super importan ..read more

Five Keys to a Happy Relationship Blog entry by Dan McMillan, M.Ed, R.Psych Relationships are crucial to our personal happiness and wellbeing. In fact Harvard released a study a few years ago demonstrating they are one of the most important elements that influence not only our wellbeing but our mortality. While this was an incredible finding, most of us intuitively relationships matter. It’s the lived experience of life; when our relationships are good, we feel good. When they suffer, so do we. Unfortunately, they can suffer pretty easily and pretty often if we’re not  ..read more

Counselling in Calgary Beginning counseling in Calgary can be a daunting and confusing process. I have been a therapist for 19 years, and I still find it surprisingly difficult when it comes time to choose a new therapist for myself personally. I, and likely you, are trying to find the right blend between personality, approach, and areas of expertise. Yet to do so, you end up having to scroll through dozens of profiles and websites, only to be left with your top pick, which you then find out isn’t accepting new clients, works halfway across Calgary, or doesn’t have the availability you need ..read more

MOVEMBER: TICKLING TOUGH TOPICS WITH A WISP OF WHIMSICAL Blog entry by Geoff Mill I pride myself on using humour wherever possible in therapy. It can be a tenuous balance at times and; it is not always the easiest (or even most appropriate) road to take given some of the painful and personal topics people bring into the room. My experience has shown me that like any timely and authentic ovation from a therapist in session, a gift of good humour and levity can go a long way to establish comfort and trust in the therapeutic alliance. I was thinking of these “hard roads of humour” as I conte ..read more

Three Keys to a Good Apology Blog entry by Dan McMillan We all have been hurt. Someone has said or done something that injured us. They say they’re sorry, yet for some reason we don’t feel better. Equally, we have all hurt others and attempted to repair that hurt. You’re sorry, really, but the apology doesn’t seem to land or work. During my time as a therapist, particularly as a couples’ therapist, I have witnessed and discussed many apologies. I’ve come to learn what works and what doesn’t in a good apology. Below are the three key steps I believe to be necessary in a good apology. Follo ..read more

A flame beneath a dark bramble Blog entry by Cody Harper MSW RSW The moment that you were born, you were good enough. Otherwise, you wouldn’t have cried. You would have been completely silent. But you did cry out, and as you cried, you wisely insisted on your inherent right to exist and to have your needs met. Thus, any belief to the contrary that you hold about yourself right now was not present at your birth. This nonsense—that you are not good enough, or that you don’t have the right to exist, or that your needs are not important—was put there afterwards; first by someone else and then ..read more

The Art of S.M.A.R.T. Blog entry by Kevin Jones, M.C., R. Psych. Goals, we all have them. Whether we want to shed a few pounds, climb another rung of the corporate latter, or finally scale that mountain of laundry accumulating in the corner, we often seem driven to accomplish, or at least dream of reaching, our objectives. However, despite our best efforts, there are times when success alludes us. While many of us move quickly to self-criticism or self-defeating beliefs, perhaps the deficit lies instead within the construction of the goal itself. Originally published as a management techni ..read more

There’s No Place Like Home: Examining the Mental Health of Fly-in/Fly-out Alberta Oil Sands Workers Blog entry by Kevin Jones, M.C., R. Psych. I recently had the privilege of visiting a fly-in, fly-out worksite located in the Alberta oil sands. While I grew up in Calgary, a city built from oil revenue, this was my first foray into the field. As a registered provisional psychologist, my role was to provide on-site counselling to employees and contractors. To do so effectively, I sought to understand the unique characteristics of the worksite and its impact on the mental health of the workfo ..read more

The perils of texting Blog entry by Cody Harper MSW RSW The written word, while certainly an artform in and of itself, is not and should never be thought of as an acceptable substitute for in-person communication. I know I am hardly breaking new ground by making this point. Yet, despite knowing this, many of us fall into this trap every single day.  Admittedly, it is virtually impossible these days to have a relationship without texting. It’s just too convenient, too accessible. In fact, for some relationships, texting (either through SMS or online chat) is the relationship. The bene ..read more

The Pivot Blog entry by Cody Harper MSW RSW The following mental exercise is something that both myself and my clients are using to manage our responses in arguments or heated discussions with other people. But it comes with a controversial idea that I would like you to consider for a moment: Other people don't actually make us feel anything. Not unless they are literally abusing us – or literally pleasing us. The emotions, and our reactions to them, are coming solely from within ourselves.  When I tell this to my clients, the reaction is often split down the middle and half of the ..read more