I take a deep breath and think, wow, a week off. A week to relax. After what feels like hours of packing and organizing, we hit the road. An hour in and the kids are fighting. Trips with families are wonderful, but they aren’t work free. It’s just a different kind of work. Remembering this from the past my husband and I decided to spend a couple nights away at a cabin. It was great, but then I felt that other feeling creep in. Here I was finally off work and I was spending time without my kids. Guilt. That ugly feeling. I named it. I then looked it head on and said you don’t belong here. My ..read more

I can picture him. Sitting in a chair. By now his polio-stricken legs wouldn't let him get down on the ground easily. He's observing. Smirking. He's entranced as Jack's little brain puts together LEGO pieces. The blond boy before him is making sound effects and giving the characters a voice as he goes. He catches a glimpse of Emme darting in and out of the room, maybe even warns her to slow down and be careful. She's likely fallen once or twice as he's been watching.  But I'm not there.  I can't be. Because my moments stopped with him in 2014. My moments with him are now only memo ..read more

I found a draft for a blog entry. It just had the title "Midlife crisising" and the text: "Now is the time." I wrote it on 1/6/20. A day before my 39th birthday. I came back to this week ahead of turning 40 with the same topic on my mind. Midlife crisising. I made it a verb.  I'm not sure how I was going to start with "now is the time" but I think it was this.  I was going to say, recently, I've become well aware that I'm not getting younger. Obvious, you say. But some of you may know what I mean when I say I've become well aware of it. And I don't mean I feel it with a mix of dre ..read more

We open our phones and see all of our pictures laid out before us. They're even broken down by year, by month, we can pinpoint what we were doing during these moments in time. Who we were with, where we were, what we were doing. Perhaps you're the organized type that has already pared them down. Or maybe you're like me, buying extra cloud space because the deleting task seems too daunting.  My 2020 roll is not empty.  Is yours?  I bet it's not.  We have trained for years to show a certain version of life on social media. I've never been a fan of that, but it still happens ..read more

We're going through a tough year.  We're going to remember this one.   What a crazy time! Make it end.  Uh-uh! COVID! Life-altering COVID. We can't go over it. We can't go under it.  Oh no! We've got to go through it.  This rendition of "We're Going on a Bear Hunt!" abruptly halted by my inability to find the right onomatopoeia to accurately express COVID, as well as my urge to use onomatopoeia in a sentence.  I also stopped because that's it. That's the bottom line: we have to go through it. I prefer this language over "we have to get through it." Subtle, tw ..read more

Be a spotter. We can spot those who need a break and we can spot those who inspire. ​ For every problem, people are finding solutions. Below I've listed observations from the past week through conversations I've had, news we covered and social media posts. The good doesn't negate the bad for those who are feeling this reality, but the bad shouldn't hide the good either. ​​ People worry they’ll get sick at work but know their medical skills are needed. They wonder if while trying to save others they're putting their own families at risk. AND​ Those medical workers are saving lives. They are s ..read more

They creep in. The bad thoughts and feelings push their way through as we go about our day. They find their way to the surface. They press down on us. They physically take our breath away. ​ It's okay to say if that's happening right now. The news of the world is heavy right now. ​ ​ Find what lightens it for you. ​ ​ Exercise?​ Your child's laughter?​ A good book? ​ Baking? ​ A cup of coffee?​ ​ Those are mine. ​ ​ What allows the pressure to lift so you can once again take a deep breath? ​ ​ With sporting events and concerts canceled it might be an activity you've never explored before ..read more

I've been thinking about how much fear and panic can hurt us as a society. In Omaha, we have a case of coronavirus involving a 36-year-old woman with special needs. Her father reached out to the local paper and shared their story. He did this after he had seen so many social media posts essentially attacking his daughter for going around and negligently spreading the illness when she should've known she had it. That was the perception, not the truth.   At the time, people didn't know her underlying health condition had caused respiratory issues and that, for her, a cough was not ..read more

Good lawd am I work in progress in this area. I never wanted to be a person to give up control. I got it. I can handle it. I’m that yes person who delivers. Then I had kids. They change life in every possible way you can imagine and then in even more ways you never could’ve conceived of. Today I got my nails done. On a weekday! This never happens. Okay, it happened once and involved Emme watching a show on my phone the whole time. By the way, I see those of you who think I’m just some spoiled woman complaining about when to squeeze in a luxury like having my nails done. I see that, I do. But ..read more

I love to foster new relationships on social media. Words of affirmation is one of my love languages. But please, please, please recognize what is clearly over the line of what is considered appropriate. Why in the world do you think a self-respecting woman like myself would want to come over to your house, stranger? Why do you think it's okay to tell me you love me? To send me a shirtless pic? To get angry and call me the c-word when I deny your invitation to talk about a story over lunch, a story that you refuse to tell me anything about.  Nope, that wasn't just one person. But all of ..read more