Photo by Anna Shvets on Pexels.com February 6, 2024 Have you ever had that feeling when you just know that something good or bad is about to happen? That intuitive hunch of someone or something whispering in your ear….”hold on, it’s going to get bumpy” or “hold on, it’s about to get exciting.”     I’d venture to say that we’ve all had these intuitive hits at one time or another. It’s a reality of the human experience. I’ve had a couple of experiences like this in my life, a premonition where I just knew the outcome of an event that was just about to happen. The first time that I can remember t ..read more

January 9, 2024 Did you see the fireworks? Did you feel the energy shift from one year to the next? Did you say goodbye to 2023 with gratitude or regret? Did you welcome the New Year with optimism or pessimism? Are you ready? Ready for what? I’ve been gazing through the looking glass seeing a familiar world that is somehow, once again, turned inside out.  There are many changes that culminated for me at the end of 2023. After spending hours on the phone over multiple days followed by three hours waiting in line at my local Social Security office, I am now officially a Medicare recipient ..read more

November 2023 “As part of the 21st Century Cures Act, in April 2021, new federal rules went into effect mandating that healthcare providers make nearly all test results and clinical notes immediately available to patients. The regulations give patients easier access to their digital health records through their smartphones.” https://www.fiercehealthcare.com The implementation of this congressional act has surely caused discussion amongst medical professionals and patients alike. The Cures Act went into effect while I was participating in my second clinical trial and I quickly learned that it w ..read more

August 10, 2023 Photo by Markus Spiske on Pexels.com I love summer. Not just because my birthday comes in summer but also because I have many wonderful memories of feeling healthy and vibrant in summer. From Memorial Day thru Labor Day, you could find me and my siblings at the town pool. Back in the day, teaching swimming lessons and lifeguarding took up most of my summers from the ages of twelve to twenty-two. Songs by Three Dog Night, The Eagles, The Bee Gees, America, Seals and Crofts, Elton John, Cornelius Brothers and Sister Rose, Wings, and the Commodores blasted over the loud speakers c ..read more

May, 8, 2023 It’s a funny thing about updates. Writing was easier when I was getting treatment infusions every three weeks. To pass the down time and fill in the space left behind when singing was impossible, putting words to paper opened a needed avenue for creative expression. Like singing a good song though, my desire to write requires a bit of drama. Perhaps drama isn’t the correct word to use here, maybe communicating a shared emotion based on the human experience is more appropriate.  A bit of drama never hurts though when expressing a depth of feeling that validates our tears, our ..read more

February 21, 2023 These past almost eight months have had me in a state of semi normalcy. Again, a relative term, what is normal? Setting the alarm on my phone to remind me to take my daily meds, the every six weeks blood work and 3 month PET/CT is vastly different from the previous six+ years of IV treatments. My previous scans ranged from every six weeks to every twelve depending on the treatment and whether I was participating in a clinical trial. Same goes for blood work, every week to every three weeks. I give thanks every time my port is accessed as the veins in my hands and arms are vir ..read more

November 17, 2022 Struck by the synchronicity: On November 7, 2016, I was sitting in the infusion room getting my first doublet dose of chemo, looking at a 5% chance of surviving five years and feeling scared, overwhelmed, sad, mad and fragile. When I look at the picture of myself and that first infusion, I can’t help but wonder where that woman has gone. She was angry and pissed off that she was being asked to walk this path, and rightly so. I feel so much compassion for what she/I went through on that day. Determined to make the best of a crappy situation, spinning her wheels trying to find ..read more

August 14, 2022 I’ve been delaying getting my teeth cleaned. Yes, I know, a healthy mouth means a healthy heart but my heart hasn’t been the number one concern. First, it was Covid and my March 2020 cleaning was cancelled. When I got the notice that it was once again safe to visit my dentist, my nausea was so awful that the thought of sitting with my mouth propped open for an hour brought on anxiety dreams. But six years of chemo caught up with my teeth and my two front uppers as well as the lowers began to chip. This was not a good look. I knew what was coming, they were going to take one loo ..read more

July 5, 2022 On May 5th, I was scheduled for a PET scan to see how things were going since starting back on Enhertu after February’s surgery. Prior to the scan, I told Melissa, my radiology tech, that I had been experiencing gripping abdominal cramps, nausea and vomiting for the past couple of days. Of all the scans I’ve had in the past six years, Melissa is probably the most familiar friendly face. Knowing that what I was experiencing was not normal for me, she requested a stat reading of my PET results (inconclusive according to the radiologist). Feeling worse and already at the medical cent ..read more

March 15.2022 “Now is the time to pick your favorite dream.” That’s what Dr. Fischer, my  anesthesiologist, said to me just before I was given a kiss by Jim for good luck, followed by a sedative to help me relax. Dr. Fischer was superb in her willingness to spend as much time as was needed with me before surgery. She listened to my past experiences with anesthesia and promised that I would not wake up in pain, nor would I experience any nausea. She delivered on her promises. She never said she would do this but I have a feeling that she was letting me know what was going on all the way th ..read more