Have Road Anger? Think of Luigi One day last week, I heard from a previous patient of mine named Jim, whom I had not seen for 15 years. I had long forgotten he was in one of my anger management classes. He called to refer someone else and told me he had always remembered my story about Luigi, which I had shared many years ago. He said it cured his road rage problem. I thought I’d now pass it on to you. So, who is Luigi, and what does he have to do with road rage? Luigi was a little Italian guy with a handlebar mustache who always wore a sauce-stained apron and a big smile. He owned an Italian ..read more

Take the High Road. In my previous post, we learned what happens to our bodies in times of stress, how our brain releases stress hormones such as cortisol and adrenaline, and how this quickly begins to course through our bodies, increasing our heart rate and blood pressure. In this post, I explain how to take the high road to de-escalate arguments and restore harmony in your marriage. The technique I teach is straightforward in theory, but it takes work, time, and practice. Having some basic rules to fall back on in times of stress helps. Rule #1 You, and only you, can apply this tool. You ca ..read more

How to Let Calmer Heads Prevail. Part one. Cassie and Phil loved each other dearly but often found themselves in heated verbal battles over almost anything and everything. The most minor disagreements quickly became a full-fledged war over who was right and who was wrong. This left Cassie and Phil feeling exhausted, emotionally disconnected from each other, nursing hurt, and harboring resentment that grew with each argument.  When an argument ensued, both immediately went on the defensive; their bodies moved into fight or flight mode, and they hurled insults and comments they would never ..read more

Long-term relationships come with a myriad of challenges. From learning to accept quirks that grate your nerves to reconciling after a full-blown argument. Every relationship has highs and lows; it helps us grow together and understand and respect each other’s boundaries. We discover what we are willing to change within reason and what is a core part of us that is set in stone.  What happens when we hold onto resentment, nursing something from our past that caused deep hurt, and from this, an argument keeps recurring? An argument that, during times of stress, rears its ugly head and worm ..read more

This blog post has taken me some time to get around to… It is a testament to my stellar ability to push an article aside and hope it magically writes itself. Unfortunately, it never does. We are all culprits of procrastination; the path of least resistance beckons us all, especially after a hard day’s work. After dealing with job stress, a chaotic drive home, and kids fighting in the back seat over who touched who’s arm, I know many would prefer to kick back and relax than face problems in our relationship. It’s no secret that relationships can be challenging, but I often encounter a recurrin ..read more

Life would be blissful and easy in a perfect world, and blame would never point in our direction. We could skate through life doing what we pleased, never being held accountable for our actions. Unfortunately, such a world does not exist, and we all must take responsibility.  While conflicts and disagreements are a normal part of any relationship, how a couple handles these challenges can significantly impact the dynamics of any relationship.  A common issue in my practice is when one partner blames the other and refuses to accept responsibility for their actions. This is a recipe f ..read more

Bullying is a distressing experience, especially when it originates from someone in a position of power or authority. When this happens, you can feel helpless and powerless to speak your mind for fear of retaliation, leaving you trapped between a rock and a hard place.  On the one hand, you would like to tell the bully precisely what you think of them; on the other hand, they know the power dynamic is squarely in their favor, and if you retaliate, the consequences may impact you heavily. This is a difficult situation that many people may relate to. So, let’s look into this topic a little ..read more

Healthy communication is the heartbeat of any relationship, a tie that connects two individuals, allowing them to understand, empathize, and support each other in the good and bad times. A solid relationship filled with harmony and understanding relies heavily on effective communication. When communication breaks down within a relationship, it can be incredibly distressing for both partners. Understanding and acknowledging the underlying issues and implementing effective strategies can help re-establish a healthy and harmonious connection between partners, restoring the bond you shared and al ..read more

The holiday season is a time when we pile in the car, drive around our neighborhood, look at the fairy land that is Christmas, and marvel at the creativity of our neighbors. The shops are filled with endless gift opportunities, and the scent of pine trees and gingerbread cookies wafts through our home.  It is also when many of us try to live up to quite unrealistic expectations. We want to make Christmas time memorable for our little ones, enjoy a home filled with family and friends, and make it a wonderful time for all who enter through the wreath-strung door.  I honestly believe t ..read more

Have you ever had a friend or acquaintance who you must tip-toe around? You find yourself carefully choosing your words because you know, from experience, that something you say may be taken too personally and lead to an argument or misunderstanding. You may feel exhausted after a conversation and decide to step back from the friendship because it is a minefield of emotions waiting to explode.  When this occurs within a relationship, things can get very tricky. I see this within my practice when one person in the relationship consistently interprets their partner’s actions and words as a ..read more