Warning: This is going to sound backwards. Trust in me for a few minutes. Here goes: Failure is the way to success. Discomfort is the exchange for success. When you have self-confidence, you can create amazing success because you’re willing to keep going. Self-confidence is your ability to know that you can handle any negative emotion and keep going. It’s believing in your ability to do what you are afraid to do. Self-confidence doesn’t come from simply believing you can speak in front of people. Self-confidence comes from knowing that if you fail (your perceived perception of failure) you’re ..read more

Have you ever experienced a turning point, where you felt that you could no longer continue on as you were?   That something had to CHANGE? That the pain of feeling “stuck” and afraid was far worse than the fear of taking action, maybe even massive action?   No better time than New Year’s to think about change, right? We are conditioned to avoid pain and discomfort and to seek pleasure. Don’t judge yourself for having fear; it´s normal! The same goes for not taking action in some cases.   I lived my life like that for many years, too caught up in the cycle of fear to do anything ..read more

Especially during these difficult Covid times, we find ourselves “Should” and “Shouldn’ting” ourselves to no end. Although we’ve been adjusting to this for 9 months, it’s a new way of life and we are likely judging ourselves harshly for not really knowing how to cope with this. The rest of this blog applies more to the fear of public speaking and performing and was written by Janet Esposito in October 2014: I’m currently reading a book called Loving What Is, by Byron Katie and finding it interesting to see how she addresses the issue of what causes our inner pain and turmoil when things a ..read more

I hear it over and over again – how scary those first few minutes can be, when you step up to speak or perform and all the attention is turned toward you. When the quietness descends upon the room, you feel the anxious anticipation of people waiting and watching and expecting something from you. You fear that they’ll see how anxious you are and you will lose credibility and respect in their eyes. All content written by Janet Esposito, April 2014 Even for people who have more of a “normal” level of nervousness with speaking or performing, it is usually this transition time – when you move from ..read more

Many of my coaching clients get caught up in comparisons. It’s also always been a huge topic in all my support groups and workshops over the years. The following was written by Janet Esposito in a previous blog in October 2015: I recently read an article by Martha Beck, a life coach, speaking about the insidious nature of our minds when we are in the state of comparing and competing. Indulging in a comparative/competitive mindset is pretty much of a guarantee you will not have peace of mind as you keep scanning your world for who is better off and who is worse off than you – on whatever scale ..read more

We’ve all been there, sweating and anxious days to weeks before a presentation thinking our whole job depends on those crucial minutes while speaking. What if you looked at it a different way? That those minutes only represent a small fraction of your job and your role? We think those minutes show everyone just how incapable or capable we are at our job. Do you realize that your audience is looking at you from a “whole person” approach? That they’ve gotten to know you in many ways, through emails, phone calls, your written work, your personable way with people, water cooler talk, etc. When the ..read more

Last month, I had the honor of being invited to do a video meeting/interview with a well-known psychologist, author and founder of Essential Speaker, Dr. Doreen Downing. Her project was to interview 20 of the top anxiety experts for her Anxiety Expert Showcase. I was given a week’s notice about the one question she would ask me. I reached out to my coaching clients and asked for their feedback, appreciated it, and look for a common theme. Despite that preparation, I tend to procrastinate much too much and I waited until 10 minutes before the interview to think through how to answer the questio ..read more

I’m fired up about them and this is my PSA sharing my, Janet’s and others’ experiences! There are people completely for or against beta-blockers, some who have never wanted to try them and those who fear they cannot stop taking them right before speaking and performing events.   My own personal experience with them was completely life-changing. I began experiencing massive anxiety attacks up at the podium when I was age 13. My heart started beating out of control from that day forward, even with only the possibility of being called upon in class, or even worse, asked to read aloud. I face ..read more

Fear of public speaking can also be a fear of death —an emotional death. We feel naked and exposed in front of an audience. We think people are going to scrutinize everything we say and do. We pressure ourselves to be perfect, or else our self-worth suffers. We dread confronting the possibility of rejection. Here are some mindset tips to change this around: 1. Don’t Expect Perfection from Yourself When it comes to public speaking, some of us tend to kick ourselves over every little perceived mistake we make. We magnify our imperfections, while ignoring all that’s good and well. The truth is, e ..read more

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