Hello beautiful people! Happy New Year. I just wanted to post a quick note. I will be taking some time off from writing to this blog. I’ll share more when I know more via email. Thank you for your attention, responses publicly and privately and your readership. I hope to continue this endeavor in the near future. Much Love, Mariam-Saba ..read more

Series Introduction As mentioned in the post “Healthy vs Toxic Shame” these next series of posts are going to be about some of the blameworthy characteristics we can develop when we’re not paying attention.  As you read the posts in this mini-series, keep an eye on your mental health. If painful emotions such as toxic shame start to come up, take whatever steps necessary to care for your mental health. Have you ever heard someone make a statement about moving forward with some choice or action because it will “build character”? I grew up hearing the term ‘character’ and it never made sens ..read more

SERIES INTRODUCTION As mentioned in the post “Healthy vs Toxic Shame” these next series of posts are going to be about some of the blameworthy characteristics we can develop when we’re not paying attention.  As you read the posts in this mini-series, keep an eye on your mental health. If painful emotions such as toxic shame or critical self-judgment start to come up, take necessary steps to care for you mental health as appropriate. Have you ever heard someone make a statement about moving forward with some choice or action because it will “build character”? I grew up hearing the term ‘ch ..read more

Series Introduction As mentioned in the post “Healthy vs Toxic Shame” these next series of posts are going to be about some of the blameworthy characteristics we can develop when we’re not paying attention.  As you read the posts in this mini-series, keep an eye on your mental health. If painful emotions such as toxic shame start to come up, take necessary steps to care for you mental health as appropriate. Have you ever heard someone make a statement about moving forward with some choice or action because it will “build character”? I grew up hearing the term ‘character’ and it never made ..read more

I’d like to finish out this year with talking about various “blameworthy traits” in the hopes of setting us up to start the new year with something special. I first mentioned the term ‘blameworthy traits’ in the post “Seduction of Blame“. I found it valuable to label and define undesirable character traits. Once reading about particular traits it allowed me to do two things. First, it allowed me to move away from the idea of a “bad person” and to become more specific. It allowed me to move away from judging myself as either good or bad and move towards clarity about what specifically was my ..read more

“Failure should be our teacher, not our undertaker. Failure is delay, not defeat. It is a temporary detour, not a dead end. Failure is something we can avoid only by saying nothing, doing nothing, and being nothing.” - Denis Waitley I don’t know where I picked it up from, but for the longest time I believed it was fatal to fail. Whether the fear was for real physical death, or death of my reputation, I believed that failing at something meant I would be harmed in some way. If failure is not an option, that meant that I was required to be perfect at everything I cared about or was required of ..read more

Have you ever heard when interviewing witnesses you’ll have as many versions of a story as there are witnesses? In any given situation, if there are two people involved, you’ll have three versions of the story. There’s each of the person’s perspectives and then the absolute Truth, or Divine Truth. We’re not computers nor do we experience the world like one. Our emotional states, our personal histories, our personal biases, our blind spots (or veils) all factor into how we record and interpret any given experience. That’s all really normal. There’s nothing wrong with this. There is no such thin ..read more

When I was enrolled in medical school, I didn’t allow myself to have much time to socialize. As a result I didn’t have a ton of emotional or social support most of my time there. Often, when I’d feel lonely or emotionally stuck, I found myself entering random things into the search engine online. Weirdly enough, I’d often end up on blog posts or internet articles talking about being kind to ourselves. It happened often enough that I finally took the time to read one of these articles all the way through. At the time I thought the internet must be full of articles with this advice and that ever ..read more

My friend just shared this amazing, miraculous thing with me. She shared how she showed up in a difficult situation with kindness, patience, compassion and mercy for herself and the people she was interacting with, when a year ago, that’s not how she would have shown up if the same situation had presented itself. I am so blessed to hear stories like this all the time. It’s the kind of story you hear when you are on a healing journey with others. I was so excited for her, I asked her “Can you see how you’re doing a good job?” There was a long pause before she responded with what she could see ..read more

As many of you know already, I was scholastically quite driven and intellectually very ambitious. I have earned a number of degrees in the science and technical realms, as well as attended medical school for a little while. I was also an athlete much of my life. I played team sports and did individual event sports. Through these various experiences I have developed discipline, a solid work ethic, I know how to learn and achieve. I learned to push past fatigue, pain and other signals my body sent me. I got things done, even though it may have required personal sacrifice in the shape of my sleep ..read more