Here we go again. Just when you think you’re making big strides to be the person you want to be and get past, well, the past, out come those familiar little demons. Right there, at the ready, extending their grimy little hand, enticing you to go back to what you know. Tempting? Yes, of course, it is. We all want to stay safe and doing things in a familiar way feels super cozy. But playing it safe doesn’t allow a lot of room to stretch your growth muscles or make strides. You may encounter frustrations as you make an effort to take back control of your life and choose to no longer be a product ..read more

There are people out there that believe they are completely in control of their destiny. Others feel like they were dealt a certain hand in life, and that’s why they can’t seem to break through and accomplish their dreams. Whichever way you feel, or even if it’s a hybrid, one thing is for sure. There have probably been a few occasions where you put yourself squarely in your own way. It’s not always easy to spot when it’s happening because the “blocks” are beautifully packaged as “reasons” and seem to fall right in line with your narrative. The idea of being in your own way and limiting yoursel ..read more

It’s not easy being an introvert who lives an extrovert's life. The emotional whiplash that can happen is more than I can take sometimes. But I’ve realized that the time for fighting is over now. I think I have mild social anxiety. It’s not clinically diagnosed so I’m sure it’s more so a level of shyness or social scene discomfort, and even though the rest of the world may not know it, because I do a masterful job of chattering right through it, it’s there. But I’ve decided recently that it’s fine to be a little socially anxious, and honestly, if it shows, so be it. I’ve accepted it. If you fa ..read more

You’ve heard him say it so many times. Someone makes an indignant statement about what they are doing in their life, and you know it’s coming. “How’s that workin’ for ya?”. There it is. The question that causes reality to get smashed right in their face demanding the answer they clearly don’t want to give. “Not great” is usually the response in some form. It’s Dr. Phil's go-to query. It’s not like you haven’t asked yourself that question, but when faced with it, the walls are forced to come down. You have to cut the crap and admit that your great plan, goal, or good idea just isn’t working ou ..read more

I got there, but I remembered none of the drive. Where was I during all the stops, traffic lights, and lane switching of this little commute of mine? No idea, but I got home safe, so it's all good. It’s like being on autopilot, and it’s actually not all good, but it’s not all bad either. Considering the average adult makes around 35,000 decisions a day, we need to have a way to make many of those unconsciously, called unconscious cognition, so we don’t overload our minds. But this type of automated thinking can become a problem if it creeps into other areas of our ..read more

Tony Robbins contends that the number one rule to becoming more authentic is to be more spontaneous. Well, I definitely want to be authentic. I mean, who doesn’t? But I have this little problem with hesitation. It’s developed into more of a teenager now, and now more than ever, indignantly steps right in, just before I want to take a figurative leap in my life. It’s time we had a conversation, so here is my open letter. Hesitation, I’m sure that you’ve likely kept me safe and probably even saved my life once or twice as you bubble up and turn into a gnawing gut feeling of “you shouldn't do th ..read more

Walter Dill Scott, who pioneered the use of psychology in advertising, has been known to advise his readers on the need for this. Winston Churchill said to find one of these that is “so absorbing that when engaged, business is banished from the mind.” It’s a hobby. “Broadly speaking, human beings may be divided into three classes: those who are toiled to death, those who are worried to death and those who are bored to death. To be really happy and really safe, one ought to have at least two or three hobbies, and they must all be real. It is no use starting late in life to say ..read more

I’m pretty tired of the label, midlife. I actually hate it. Especially because I still feel like I’m 30 years old and that I still have tons of time left to do tons of stuff. Reality check. So not tons of time, but some time. It seems like a euphoric rite of passage to get a little older and get to do nothing. You may want to retire or just be free to do whatever you want, but that doesn’t mean you need to become some kind of sidenote. Keeping yourself challenged, stimulated, and intentional about resisting the doldrums can make this time life-enriching. It’s comm ..read more

here’s how not to be a jerk about it Photo by Toa Heftiba on Unsplash “Sorry!” My toddlers would bark at one another when I’d direct them to apologize. “Not like that…that’s not apologizing.” I’d respond, followed by further directives on delivering a proper one. But it’s safe to say that even as adults, we sometimes struggle with saying “I’m sorry.”  Here’s why. When you apologize, you’re putting your worst behavior out there in the great wide open. This is why sometimes it can be hard to make it happen. According to psychologist Karina Schumann, transgressors often view an apology as t ..read more

Some people have to learn this the hard way. I have to admit, there have been times I’ve felt like seeking out the Wizard for answers, not realizing that I could have just kept my ass at home and awakened to the fact that everything I needed was right there. But some of us like to do things the hard way. I’d never heard of Synthetic Happiness until I listened to Dan Gilbert’s TED Interview. It blew my mind and changed my thoughts about what I needed to be happy. Synthetic Happiness, simply put, is the idea that you can be just as happy if you don’t&nb ..read more