Pride and shame are two sides of the same coin, perfect mirrors of one another. Both indicate the need for validation from another, separate us from our true nature, and keep us bound to our current version of ourselves. Pride and shame represent our disowned parts. They reflect fragmented elements within us where we struggle to see ourselves truthfully. Rather than acceptance for who we are, broken or magnificent, we are met with internal resistance that disavows our true nature. At the core of both Pride and Shame is the idea that we are not enough. We live in an environment where confidence ..read more

From where do I come, and what do my own eyes see, and perceive in my world? Let us be clear: it is a personal choice for individuals to awaken from their societal slumber and commit to doing the right thing, a decision made consciously to become a better person. That’s all; a personal decision. Breaking the bondage of self-hate, and self-despair Many of us develop an orientation to being internally lost from a sense of grounding, as to who we are. Relax about that thought and listen. What is the right way to act in the presence of our peers and others who also may be completely lost in life ..read more

Did you know that mirrors hide our deep, dark secrets? I was driving through East Texas one sunny morning in January for my tiny home retreat. (A tiny home was my spontaneous idea to minimize distractions and focus on myself to kickstart my healing journey.) I stopped at a quaint little coffee shop. As I walked in, I saw a group of about eight townspeople singing folk and worship music amongst the beautiful sounds of harmonicas, guitars, and a harp.  I started walking to the back of the coffee shop to order, and I looked over at a community table with three friends catching up with each o ..read more

Throughout the blurry state of being continuously sedated, I wandered through the pale, cold halls of the hospitals, the bus rides to and from weekly case management and therapy appointments, still not cured of my “ailments.” From the ages of 14-19, I was continuously over-medicated as treatment providers were allowed very little time with me, often berating my inability to conform to complete sedation or relaxation with notes of stigmatization and crude humor. The medications that were prescribed to me during this time, which I had noted down and can remember, were as follows: Prozac Zoloft L ..read more

In the journey of life, few roles are as demanding and emotionally taxing as that of a caregiver, especially when it involves navigating through high-conflict situations. TAR Anon™, a beacon of support and healing, stands ready to offer solace and empowerment to those who find themselves in the throes of Toxic Abusive Relationships (TAR). Officially launched in May 2024 as a program of the TAR Network™, a 501(c)(3) global foundation, TAR Anon™ is on a mission to assist individuals affected by narcissistic abuse, trauma, and Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (CPTSD). This dedicated fellows ..read more

May is Mental Health Awareness Month, so I am posting a series of articles about the mental health disorders that dominate my daily life: complex post-traumatic stress disorder (C-PTSD) and Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder (PMDD). First and foremost, I share my experiences to help others feel less alone. I also hope nonprofit leaders and other employers read these stories and take the steps necessary to create inclusive environments for those with serious mental health conditions. What is Complex PTSD? C-PTSD stands for complex post-traumatic stress disorder. Most people are more familiar with ..read more

Hoover Elementary School sat on the top of a hill in my small town of Oklahoma. The u-shaped building made for a great raceway as little feet puttered quickly from gym to classroom, art room, lunch room, and playground, with teachers inevitably shouting, “Slow down! Watch out!” while pausing to lift up those who had stumbled over their awkward, still-developing feet. I loved school. It was a place of creativity, knowledge, and play, where I felt nurtured. Of course, it was also where I made friends. Around age 6-7, I met Nikki. We became fast friends. We spent every recess together, lots of ..read more

In the intricate tapestry of our lives, experiences both joyful and challenging, shape the way we perceive and interact with the world within us and around us. For many, navigating the aftermath of trauma can cast a shadow over the simplest and seemingly innocent moments, leaving behind a sticky residue of fear and disconnection. Yet, within the depths of our being lies a reservoir of resilience and healing wisdom waiting to be rediscovered. The gateway is reliant upon a sound foundation of ‘feeling safe to feel what is arising in the body through a connection to an embodied felt sense of safe ..read more

Without a doubt, the most helpful thing I have learned in therapy is to pay attention – to notice what comes up in my body and emotions during the normal course of a day. The smallest shifts can be indicators that something isn’t right, symptoms of a deeper issue lying just beneath the surface.     Judith Herman, a CPTSD expert and pioneer, theorized that complex trauma takes place in captivity, where one is a prisoner of sorts, unable to flee the control of a perpetrator. She argues that people are held captive without bars, windows, or guns through psychological tactics or economic ..read more

Note: The following information is from my book Unlocking the Puzzle of PTSD and is copyright-protected but may be used for educational purposes, with acknowledgment of the source of the contents. This piece needs a distinct introduction and conclusion before any revisions are possible. The Amygdala: The Amygdala in the brain stores memories of fear. On a very basic level, abuse and trauma feel like a threat to survival. The Amygdala is part of the brain’s Limbic System, which is involved with emotions and reactions to stimuli. An Amygdala highjacking is a term for how the fear center stops ..read more