Not with the music again, but I’d play Weedruid’s The Final Huodini Seance if I were you right this instant. Or Weedruid’s Zompire. Make a choice.                        A long, long time ago in the 60’s, there was this 4-year old kid who shared a room with his grandpa. Now, the boy wasn’t an orphan – he had these 3 beautiful older sisters, a mom and a dad who lived with him, and so did a bunch of cousins visit the home daily – and yet there he was by his side 24/7. ‘It was me and gran ..read more

“I was nervous. When I first started, I dropped the brush.” – Margaret D. H. Keane A still frame from the film “Big Eyes” by Tim Burton Needless to say, the following story is merely fan-fiction and boy just take a look at that title – wow, a lot to take in, I can imagine. I’d click, however. I’d surely click. Moreover, this is a take on Agatha’s infamous recurring final chapter ‘Poirot Explains’ and – you’ve guessed it – it features Tim Burton’s ‘Big Eyes’ as a main body of exploration. I’m also a character. Here we go: You can imagine my most profound anxiety once I’d heard Poirot will ..read more

Salutations, Maties, Firstly and foremostly, there’s something I’d like you to play on YouTube while you’re reading and hopefully beyond and it’s called: Relaxing Sound of Rain Forest Puddles 2 Hours / Light Rain and Rain Drops Falling From Trees I adore mixed media supporting each-other for best results and this one is by a channel I support and hope they’ll support me back one day before I turn grey. Oh, do I got for you today just the thing you were looking for! – How well-slept do you feel you are to enjoy a film’s pacing? – Nothing more refreshing in the whole world than seeing a sp ..read more

A still frame from the film Time Lapse Question: Do you regularly get mistaken for Patrick Star and are you real dumb? (Well, hi there Real Dumb, I’m Dad!) Hey champ, do I got a way to lift that miss-buttoned spirits of yours by making you see someone in a movie who’ll make you figure if they were any dumber their name would start with ‘Inter’ and end in ‘stellar’s plot’. And here I am today before you unraveling the story of WHY a low-budget time-paradox director one day went for dumbing their characters down and it was the best decision he ever made! So, buckle up your seat belt lil-fel ..read more

Quality sleep is like a box of chocolate – Christian Bale wouldn’t have any The same-old-same-old outdated zombies are long dead to you? You couldn’t care less for spineless directors who won’t settle for a mystery resolution? Wonder if an apple a day would really keep the doctor away? Well, do we have the mystery chill-chill-chiller for you. “The Machinist” – A story about a guy (Christian Bale) who couldn’t sleep for a year. He also got the first-hand knowledge that a lot of things taste as goode as, if not way better than what skinny feels. A still frame from the film “The Machinist” by ..read more

Wanna abandon yourself to the literal cliché of slow European cinema? Do you long not having a clue what you are being shown? Say no more, Krzysztof Kieślowski is your guy, and the “Three Colors” trilogy is his magnum opus and your excuse for a comment section whataboutery later tonight. “Blue” A still frame from the film “Three Colors: Blue” by Krzysztof Kieślowski What does Krzysztof Kieślowski want? A pure but intrusive intimate bedtime story about Juliette Binoche, her beddings, her eyeball, her sugar cube melting within her coffee cup, and the trespassing cameraman recording Every. Heart ..read more

(Coenesque Vs Coen) Two words: Frances McDormand Oh, you betcha, both movies are awesome indeed, but just imagine their basic point dodging with no Mrs. Frances, who happens to be the best character actress out in the land of pred… out in Hollywood; What we’re trying to say is, when it comes to casting in these two, just pick one of the following tenacious trios: a) Frances McDormand, Sam Rockwell, and Woody Harrelson; b) Frances McDormand, Steve Buscemi, and William H. Macy; And you shall acquire the knowledge of the why. 1. “Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri“: A Cute Storytelling T ..read more

Warning – The Following Story is Merely Fan Fiction!!! A still frame from the film “Strangers On A Train” by Alfred Hitchcock The year is 1951. It appears you are a famous tennis player in the States. So famous, indeed, that you can’t even powder your nose in the comfort room without someone standing by it, squealing out ai Betty-oh-my-god-it’s-him. You, my friend, have got to be who actually matters. Naturally, just now as you’re traveling by train, a complete stranger puts you in the very well-deserved spotlight. Humbled by your presence, he sits next to you as he savors your very personhood ..read more

1. Misery-Never-Looked-Better The appeal of this movie sounds like an ad for a luxury trip to Rome: “Wanna visit beautiful Italy? Well, we can make it happen for you! A still frame from the film “La Dolce Vita” by Federico Fellini You will take a peek at the theatrical dances of the 1960s Via Veneto performers. This baroque scenography is so intense and costume design so editorial that every single scene in this movie could pass for an overwhelming work of art, to such an extent that it makes you figure, ‘Reality would look so much better if it were black and white!’ Now, this is the cinema ..read more

Warning – The Following Inner Monologue is Merely Fan Fiction!!! A still frame from the film “Eraserhead” by David Lynch Movie Ideas: 1. The-birds-and- the-bees intro… and god no… not the stuff you see in your average-joe midnight flicks… but downright bizarre… boy do I love bizarre… by way of illustration –  a giant sperm goes on to fly in the air and boom! – it splashes down into a whirlpool… oh, how I like the smell of fresh bizarre in the morning! So, if this is what surrealist sex would look like: “… My wife with the sex of a mining-placer and of a platypus My wife with a sex of se ..read more