If you want a marriage with more intimacy and affection, there’s a common mistake many of the men we coach make without even realizing it. I speak from experience – I used to make this mistake with my wife for many years. This article and video explains what that mistake is and how to stop doing it. What is the Big Mistake Men Make? Questions. Constant questions. These aren’t normal questions like, “How was your day?” or “How is your mother feeling?” or “Where would you love to go for vacation?”, etc. The questions I’m talking about have a different agenda. They are based in his uneasy insecur ..read more

Your wife expects you to know what emotional safety means to her. It is so important for a man to understand this and WHY it is YOUR JOB to create it.  If you are trying to improve or save your marriage and intimate life, you must embrace this reality and own it! Emotional safety is important to both men and women.  Without it, we feel unsure about opening up and sharing sensitive emotions and thoughts with each other.  Fear of being judged, criticized, or ignored will shut down any hope of communicating at a deeper level on just about any topic.  This absolutely affects th ..read more

Have you noticed that your wife doesn’t like compliments from you anymore? How are you supposed to create more connection, passion and intimacy when you can’t even give her a compliment which makes her feel good? A lesson all men must learn before it’s too late Bob’s happiness was infectious as he excitedly told us about his new girlfriend he met since his divorce a year ago. He showed up to our bi-weekly men’s group meeting with a skip in his step. We started the meeting by sharing news, celebrations and/or epic fails since the last meeting. When we got to Bob he was smiling. He couldn’t wait ..read more

Are you an unhappy man in an unhappy marriage? Most advice to create a happier life and relationship focuses on trying to control the circumstances and manipulate your wife to get her to change her behaviour. In this article I explain why your perspective and focus should be on who you are as a man, what you want and where you’re headed because that’s all the control you have over anything. The results from being that man are the results that are supposed to happen. As an unhappily married man you DO have options Men often ask me about my “success rate” when it comes to helping them fix their ..read more

Have you had the thought “My Wife Hates Me, especially when it comes to talking about my feelings and talking about our relationship”. Does she seem so cold, dismissive, distant and disrespectful while you’re all emotional and need to feel closer to her? This article is bound to tick off idealists who believe “it shouldn’t be like that”. Sorry. But for scads of married men it is like that. The cold, hard truth is millions of “openly vulnerable husbands” (OVH) face cold, distant and disrespectful wives every day. Even in our “highly evolved” age, the year 2022 has brought more questions than an ..read more

Do you feel trapped in a sexless marriage? Does it seem that your wife holds the cards to your sex life? In this article I explain a common factor that keeps her holding you at arms length. Why freedom isn’t something you have to ask for. Married men often complain to me about feeling chained up and stuck in a cell closely guarded by their wife. She is the gatekeeper of peace, harmony, happiness, kindness, affection and sex. They have bought into the myth: “If momma ain’t happy then nobody’s happy!” This is a mindset that creates despair and paralysis. It leads to chronic unhappiness and resen ..read more

Are you stuck in a sexless marriage or low sex relationship? It’s one of the hardest, most painful and loneliest places a man can endure. Learn this simple rule to turn your sex life around I tend to coach and write about the things I most need to heal within myself. And that leads me to the subject of sex. I’m writing this article more for me than for you, but you’re welcome to eavesdrop on my internal conversation. I need to write myself a reminder. A not-so-gentle kick in the ass memo. You see, I’ve not been taking my own damn advice. Steve, WTF are You Doing? If I was to coach myself right ..read more

Can you predict the end of your marriage? This article discusses what to do if you’re afraid that your marriage is heading downhill and the possibility of separation or divorce is looming. A lot of couples are painfully unaware of this 2-year warning clock in their marriage. I thought I was all alone. I thought I was special. But over the years my clients have proved me wrong. This happens nearly every day. There is a very definite trend with marriages that end with the man left standing in shock and awe. Didn’t see it coming. How could she be so cold? Wait! I can change! We can fix this! Can ..read more

Are you an unhappy husband in a miserable marriage pretending to be happy? I was for many years, but to everyone else it looked like my life was great!! Every chronically unhappy husband I work with is battling a very common affliction. It’s his mindset. The way he thinks about his role and his life as a married man is in need of what I call a “mojo makeover”. And until he decides to buckle down and focus on changing his self-sabotaging thoughts he will continue feeling what he’s feeling and getting what he’s getting. He will keep trying to “make her happy”. He will constantly worry about what ..read more

If you’re struggling with a disconnected marriage and wondering why your wife won’t give you affection, this article will help uncover some of the causes of an unaffectionate marriage and how to move things back towards connection, affection, passion and intimacy again. What I’m about to tell you is so mind-numbingly basic you will probably think to yourself, “Wow, Einstein, is that the best you could come up with?” Yep, it’s the very best advice I can give to a fellow man because I know how damn hard it is to stay focused on the basics. We tend to over-think and over-complicate matters of fem ..read more